SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 11

SpongeBob:
[straightens himself out] Oh, tender, naïve Patrick, it's not that kind of playground. It's a place to read books! See?

Patrick:
Oh, I love books! [laughs and throws books around] Book! Book! [SpongeBob dodges the incoming books] Book!

SpongeBob:
[whispers] Gary, I don't think Patrick knows how to use a book properly. [gets hit in the face by a book] Ow! [removes the book and grabs Patrick] Behold the books, Patrick. Each one has a story to tell.

Patrick:
Whoa.

SpongeBob:
Look out! Those books are cliffhangers, stories for the adventurous. [Two books are clinging for their lives on the shelf. Patrick panics and rushes to help them.]

Patrick:
I'll save you! [climbs on the shelf] Whoa! [falls down and gets crushed underneath]

SpongeBob:
[pulls Patrick out and shows a log-shaped book] There are logbooks, [holds up a really large book entitled, "War and Peace"] unabridged books, [shows a pop-up book that displays London's Tower Bridge] and books with bridges.

Patrick:
Whoa! [laughs]

SpongeBob:
[puts a book close to his ear] Listen to the soothing sounds of the audiobooks. [hears seagulls cawing and ocean waves] I can hear the ocean.

Patrick:
[grabs a book and hears a toilet flushing.] Me too!

[SpongeBob and Patrick laugh.]

SpongeBob:
Cookbooks, for the culinarily curious.

Patrick:
[takes a page that has a picture of a turkey on it. He puts it on a stove, fries it up, and eats it.] I like the pictures.

SpongeBob:
[reaches in Patrick's mouth and grabs the page] Ah, but the pictures are a mere snack! [closes the book and puts it away] It's the words in the book that really feeds your brain. Let's start you off with an old book. [takes an old book that is covered in cobwebs and dust; he parachutes down and opens the book; and eerie dust bunny appears and SpongeBob sniffs it up] Ah, musty old books smell. Now, read the words, Patrick.

Patrick:
Oh, read the—oh, uh..."Once...Upon a..." "Once upon a..." Once upon a what?!

SpongeBob:
To continue the story, you have to turn the page. [turns a page]

Patrick:
Oh. "Time." "Once upon a time!" [laughs and turns pages] That's the most amazing trick I've ever seen! I want to stare at more words!

SpongeBob:
Then feast your eyes!

[SpongeBob turns the pages and Patrick goes to read. Inside Patrick's head, his brain is sitting alone on the couch, feeling bored. It picks its nose and smears it on the arm rest. It then sees Patrick looking at the words in the book he's reading.]

Patrick:
Once upon a time...