SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 12

Squidward:
So, let me get this straight. [cut to inside of an igloo] Nobody in this freezer is actually sick?

SpongeBob:
[speaking at the same time] Never felt better.

Pearl:
[speaking at the same time] Healthy.

Mrs. Puff:
[speaking at the same time] Not me.

Patrick:
Ice cream!

Mrs. Puff:
Well, if no one is sick in here, then the sick person must be...

Pearl:
[gasps] Daddy! Oh, no! [starts crying tears which turn into ice cubes]

Mrs. Puff:
There, there. [gets hit by the ice cubes, grunting slightly]

Squidward:
I say we bust out of here, grab Krabs, and lock him away!

Mrs. Puff:
Oh, yeah!

Pearl:
Daddy?!

Patrick:
Who's this now? [eats some ice cream]

SpongeBob:
Well, I don't know. Mr. Krabs didn't tell us to question his orders. I'll just wait for him to let me out.

Squidward:
[smiling] You can't cook Krabby Patties if you're locked in the freezer.

SpongeBob:
[shocked of hearing what Squidward said, and now changes his mind] All right. [puts on sunglasses] Let's put this crab on ice. [everyone busts out of the freezer, with Mr. Krabs noticing.]

Mr. Krabs:
[screams] You sickos are supposed to be in the freezer!

Patrick:
You're the sicko! [jumps towards Mr. Krabs, but he flattens himself to get out of the way, so he crashes into a table instead]

Mr. Krabs:
Stay away from me, you sickos! [crawls under the grill, to where SpongeBob also flattens himself and crawls under in pursuit. Both of them getting covered in the grime there in the process]

SpongeBob:
For the good of all of us, you have to go into the freezer!

Mr. Krabs:
Keep your filthy hands off me, you infected ingrate! [notices the opening leading to the grease trap] Oh, look. Freedom! [drains himself into the grease trap. SpongeBob then crawls out from under the grill, now covered in the grime present of being infected]

SpongeBob:
He's in the grease trap!

Squidward:
Well, someone's gonna have to fish him out before he gets to the sewer and infects the whole town!

Patrick:
Hey, I can help! [pries the grill out of the way and begins shoving Squidward into the opening to the grease trap]

SpongeBob:
Patrick, Patrick!

Patrick:
Huh?

SpongeBob:
There's a full-sized hatch over here. [begins scratching himself]

Patrick:
Well, what do you know? [finishes shoving Squidward into the grease trap]

Squidward:
[falls into the grease] Eugene? Are you in here? [Mr. Krabs surfaces behind him, catching him off-guard, making him scream and get some of the grease that was on him onto him.]

Mr. Krabs:
Ah! Sicko germs! [leaves the grease trap through the full sized hatch, catching SpongeBob by surprise] You can't catch me! I'm too healthy for all you, sickos! [laughs as he leaves through the service window]

Pearl:
Daddy, stop! [follows him through the service window, prying it off the wall due to her massive size]

[The others head to the dining area to see Pearl with the service window around her neck and Mr. Krabs stuck in her blowhole. She sniffs him up and and sneezes him out, with him missing his shirt. Mr. Krabs lands near a corner and Patrick confronts him.]

Patrick:
There's nowhere left to run!

Mr. Krabs:
I'm not licked yet! [snaps his claws]

Patrick:
[boxing bell ringing] Oh, yeah? [uses his tongue to try and grab Mr. Krabs, but he dodges and grabs his tongue and begins swinging him around] Hey, hey! SpongeBob!

Mr. Krabs:
You'll never get me! [swings Patrick into the broom closet, getting him covered in dust, but he yanks on the tongue, yanking him into the closet, getting him covered in dust as well]

[Patrick then regains control of his tongue and begins swinging Mr. Krabs around, catching Squidward and making him crash into SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs eventually lets go and is sent flying towards Pearl, who is shown to now have a stuffy blowhole, and she dodges him, making him land in a trash can held by Mrs. Puff.]

Mrs. Puff:
I got him! I got- [suddenly inflates sending the trash can flying with Mr. Krabs inside. He lands on a window, and the trash and the trash can lands on Mrs. Puff's head]

[The battle continues until nighttime, when the health inspector returns and unlocks the chains and enters.]

Health inspector:
Hello? Anyone here? Ha, funny story, um... [holds out his detector] I was holding my equipment [flips his detector 180 degrees] upside down yesterday. Nobody was actually sick! Oh, what a goof. [hears some moaning and turns on his flashlight to investigate, and notices Squidward, whose feet are noticeably swollen] Oh, my Neptune! Grease Gout. [notices SpongeBob looking all moldy as he scratches himself] Moldy Measles! [notices a pile of trash shifting, and out emerges Mrs. Puff, coughing up a tin can] Trash Trichinosis! [notices Patrick lying down with his tongue all stretched out, as he coughs up three literal dust bunnies who scurry away] Dust Bunny Bronchitis?! [notices Pearl, still with her stuffy blowhole, as she sneezes out Mr. Krabs' shirt covered in boogers] Polyester Plague?! [something drips on his arm and he notices the source. He gasps. It is Mr. Krabs, showing symptoms for all of the diseases, even coughing up a literal dust bunny] The whole shebang?! [everyone crawls towards him and he quickly escapes] They're all sick! Ultra-Mega Quarantine!

HAZMAT Unit:
You heard him! Get this disease-ridden cesspit out of here!

[More HAZMAT Units board up the Krusty Krab in a huge wooden crate.]

HAZMAT Unit:
Drop it somewhere safe. [a helicopter shows up and deploys a hook, and a HAZMAT Unit applies it to a lifting ring]

HAZMAT Unit:
Somewhere no one ever goes. [the helicopter lifts the Krusty Krab and drops it on the Chum Bucket]

Plankton:
[off-screen] What the...?! [the sickos attack Plankton off-screen] No! I don't wanna get sick too! Stay away! NO! [sneezes of his clam flu] Ah, barnacles.