Squidbillies, Season 1

(A figure in a pure white robe emerges from the woods)

Granny:
Look everyone, it's the creature from the prophecy!

Sheriff:
Nah it's just me. Help me Oobi Wan, you're my only hope. (Picks up Early and kisses him) For luck. Remember that? Get it? Star Wars? (All stare at the Sheriff) Ain't this a Sci-Fi convention?

Early:
Enter the circle of fire and answer the inquisitation

Granny:
Answer the inquisitation!

Early:
Tell me sheriff, what do you, eh, what do you think of white people?

Sheriff:
Eh they're all right I guess. I mean I like 'em Doobie Brothers.

Early:
Doobies aside! Doobies has been disquackified, alright?

Sheriff:
Actually Early I really don't mind whites so much. I mean some of my best friends are white. Like me, I'm white!

Early:
You what to the what now!

Sheriff:
Did I mention to you that boys. Hey look... See, white as a Vidalia onion and twice as sweet.

Granny:
Oh no!

Early:
Ohhh denial. Denial!! I have done been deceptified by a salesman!

Granny:
Burn the sheriff!

(Rusty sets fire to the tip of the Sheriff's shoe; the Sheriff stomps it out)

Sheriff:
Hey, hey, hey. Woah, woah. Is this what this is all about, a hate white rally?

Early:
Well it don't have to be just whites. I mean we're all inclusive here... except for those damn whites.

Sheriff:
Why do you squids hate whites so badly?

Early:
Typical. Whitey needs an explanation for every damn thing.