The Bill Engvall Show, Season One

Bill:
(chuckles) Yeah- you are not getting your belly button pierced, young lady.

Lauren:
Why? How is a navel piercing any different than an ear piercing?

Bill:
Because when you wear earrings, boys look up here! (points to his face)

Lauren:
How 'bout if I pierce my tongue? Then, no one will know I have it if I don't open my mouth.

Trent:
Oh, I'm for that!

Susan:
Lauren, if we knew you wanted metal in your mouth, then we wouldn't have had your braces taken out!

Bill:
You know, that is a great point, honey! I see these kids at the mall, they look like they ran into a nail gun! I mean, when did shrapnel become a fashion accessory?

Lauren:
Mom-

Susan:
Don't look at me- I am trying to figure out what your father was doing at the mall.