The Bill Engvall Show, Season One

Susan:
You don't think you should do something to smooth things over with Mr. Pratt?

Bill:
No! Guys don't hold grudges. We say our piece, and move on.

Susan:
(sarcastically) Guys... keepin' the world mellow.

Bill:
(jumps as Priscilla slithers across the kitchen floor) SNAKE, SNAKE!! (upstairs, Lauren and Bryan jump) BRYAN, GET DOWN HERE! (Bryan and Lauren rush downstairs) Where is your snake?

Bryan:
In it's terrarium. I caught it just like you said to. Right, Lauren?

Lauren:
Sure, why not?

Bill:
... 'Cause I thought I saw something.

Bryan:
Maybe you're getting a migraine. Those can be proceeded by hallucinations. [Bill and Susan give each other incredulous looks] Good night, Dad. (Bill pats him on the head as he goes upstairs)

Susan:
Did Trent work on his paper at all?

Lauren:
He claims he finished it.

Susan:
(to Bill) You planning to read it over before he hands it in?

Bill:
If he wants me to. (Susan gives him a look) And, if he doesn't want me to. (starts heading for the stairs)

Susan:
He needs an "A" on it.

Bill:
I know.

Susan:
Make sure it makes sense.

Bill:
Okay.

Susan:
Don't let him manipulate you.

Bill:
(sarcastically) All ri-i-ight! (goes upstairs, Lauren joins her mother in eating leftover pastries)

Lauren:
Why did you guys...choose to have other children after me?

Susan:
(smiles) 'Cause we were young, and... stupid.