The Bill Engvall Show, Season Three

Bryan:
(sadly) Goodbye Yale- goodbye Berkeley- Goodbye Cornell-

Lauren:
Ugh, Bryan, would you stop?!

Trent:
Yeah, who are these people you keep saying goodbye to?

Bryan:
They're schools, doofus! Schools I probably can't even get into anymore!

Lauren:
Because you got a "B" on a science test?

Bryan:
My first "B!" It's gonna stand out on the college applications!

Trent:
College what, now? (starts eating a bag of Cheetos)

Bryan:
(looks scornfully at his older siblings) I wouldn't expect you to know. You're just both run-of-the-mill academic hacks. (Lauren glares at him) Simply average.

Lauren:
(angrily) Whoa- average?

Trent:
(cheerfully) Whoa- average! (walks across to the couch)

Lauren:
For your information, I am not an academic hack. I do well in school.

Bryan:
(smirks) Please! You haven't seen an "A" since preschool!

Lauren:
Um, hello? There were two "A's" on my report card last semester.

Bryan:
Yeah, the ones in "Lauren" and "Pearson!" (Lauren looks furious, Bryan giggles and looks at his papers) Assuming you spelled "Pearson" right! (Lauren glares at him, then slowly starts to smile)

Lauren:
... Well, I hope you're enjoying this, because that "B" is just the beginning.

Bryan:
The beginning of what?

Lauren:
No one's told you? (Bryan shakes his head) All Pearson men start out smart, but around age 12, their brains start to go soft. (glances in Trent's direction) It happened with Trent, and now here you are with your very first "B"- right on schedule!

Bryan:
You expect me to believe some lame theory of brain degeneration?

Lauren:
No- because it's science... which you just got a "B" in. (Bryan looks worried)

Trent:
(having fitted Cheetos between his toes) Check it out!(Bryan and Lauren stare at him, he wiggles his foot in their direction) "Chee-Toes?" (Bryan looks horrified, Lauren pretends to look worried)

Lauren:
... Let's just hope you don't get it that bad.