The Day Today

[Rok TV]

Harfynn Teuport:
The work of he's-a-singer Bob Dylan is to be reappraised following the discovery of a filum which shows several of his songs including the classic "Subterranean Homesick Blues", being sung as long ago as 1947 by the singer/songwriter George Formby.

[Outtake from "Underpants", 1947]

Harfynn Teuport:
Dylan, who is in hospital after eating a rotten wolf, has so far been unavailable for comment.

Ian Curtis:
[a skeleton swinging on a rope] Hello, Ian Curtis here, I watch Rok TV every day!

Harfynn Teuport:
That's the news where it's gone, time now for Suki Bapswent with her special brand of things.

Sukie Bapswent:
What-ho, I'm Sukie Bapswent!

Harfynn Teuport:
Mm!

Sukie Bapswent:
Uh-oh, now go 'wow' for the latest sounds from Nirvana! They've been commissioned to do the music behind the new Panty Smile sanitary products campaign. Okay boys, hit me with those ultra-pads!

Kurt Cobain: Once a month / You'll become a slave To a tidal wave / Yeah Body's little clock / Could mess up your frock But Panty Smile's a lovely thing It absorbs every thing Chorus You can wear them / In the high street Body contours / Very discreet And the comfort / You won't be-lieve 'Cause the topsheet / Is a dryweave Yeah. Panty / Yeah / Smile Panty / Yeah / Smile Panty / Yeah / Smile Panty / Yeah / Smile

Voiceover:
Panty Smile. A Comfy Pal who says Never Mind.