The Day Today

Chris Morris:
It's just been anno - yeah, thanks... it's just been announced there's to be an special inquiry into the Government's handling of the Frome shipping deal, which flew to pieces last month amid allegations of gross ministerial misconduct. Our economics correspondent Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan is with the Minister for Ships Michael Crane; he's just prised him out of an emergency meeting.

Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan:
I'm with the Minister for Ships, Michael Crane MP...

Chris Morris:
[in voiceover drowning out Peter] That's right, Peter, everything I've just said comes spewing straight back out of your stupid slab of a face...

Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan:
...Mr Crane, choppy waters for the Government?

Michael Crane:
Not at all, Peter. This procedure was entirely proper, and I think the inquiry will prove that the Government's handling of this matter was entirely proper.

Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan:
So the Government's ship back on course?

Michael Crane:
Absolutely.

Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan:
Back to you, Chris.

Chris Morris:
Peter, what the hell was that? This man's made a big scale cock-up here, you let him get away with it! Now let me speak to him. Put your ear-piece next to his head and stand still. Now, Minister! There's reason to believe that you lied to the House. How do you answer that?

Michael Crane:
Well that is a very serious and unfounded allegation, and I will be making a statement to the House based on the preliminary inquiry next week.

Chris Morris:
A week is a long time in politics.

Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan:
Rab Butler.

Chris Morris:
Shut up, Peter. Now Minister, did you or did you not lie to the House?

Michael Crane:
I will be making a full statement to the House next week.

Chris Morris:
It's a simple question, yes or no! Did you or did you not lie?

Michael Crane:
...I, erm...

Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan:
As the Minister for Ships sprawls on the pin, it's back to you Chris!

Chris Morris:
No it isn't, Peter! He's about to answer the question! He's about to admit to lying to the House! You've let him get away again! Where's he gone?!

Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan:
Over there...

Chris Morris:
Well get him back!

Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan:
He's in a cab.

Chris Morris:
Peter, you've lost the NEWS!! What are you going to say?

Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan:
Sorry.

Chris Morris:
Look like you mean it! Look down at the ground and say sorry!

Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan:
I'm sorry!

Chris Morris:
Peter, next time you cross the road, don't bother looking!

Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan:
Sorry...