The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Season 4

[Will's version of the pool party]

Philip:
Do you know how humiliating it is to have a son who can't swim?

[Phil rips off the head of Carlton's inner tube. Carlton runs off sobbing]

Will:
Listen, Uncle Phil--

Philip:
SILENCE! If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you!

Stephanie:
[appears] Hello, Mr. Banks--

Philip:
What's she doing here?

Will:
Uncle Phil, s-she wandered over lonely and crying, and I didn't have the heart to turn her away--

Philip:
HIT THE BRICKS, YOU LITTLE TRAMP! Go on! [Stephanie runs off crying] And tell your mother your father has a girlfriend! [to Will] I'm going back into the house, and when I come out, I want all these freeloading parasites OUTTA HERE! [snarls]

Will:
Y-yes, sir! Within the hour!

Philip:
FIVE MINUTES!

Will:
FOUR!

Philip:
Alright, Will. If that's the way you want it. [walks off, laughing maniacally]