The Office, Season 8

Pam:
Hey Jim. Stanley's back from the hospital today. Can you sign his card?

Jim:
Oh, great. [reads] "Glad they didn't mix up your tonsillectomy with a moustachectomy." Oh, that's not good.

Phyllis:
Oh, because your jokes are all hilarious.

Pam:
It's nice. It's funny. It mentions his tonsillectomy and makes a funny little joke about his moustache.

Jim:
Stanley doesn't have a moustache.

Pam:
Yeah, he does.

Oscar:
Pam, hit the brakes. Stanley does not have a moustache. I misspoke. I'm not sure. I think he has one, now that- I think he has a moustache.

Pam:
Okay, Phyllis sits across from him every day. Phyllis, does he have a moustache or not?

Phyllis:
Oh, I don't know. Now I think he doesn't.

Pam:
Phyllis! What are you talking- The whole card depends on this!

Jim:
Okay, the man's worked here for 25 years. How can none of us picture his face?

Angela:
Because we come here to do our jobs. We don't stick our noses in other people's business.

Pam:
Okay, which one of these looks more right?

[holds up drawing of Stanley with and without a moustache]

Dwight:
Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity. That said, the one on the left.

Gabe:
[bell dings] Guys, that's the elevator. What if it's him?

Jim:
Okay, quick. Who says moustache?

[Pam, Oscar, Dwight, and Creed raise their hands]

Dwight:
Yep.

Jim:
Who says no moustache?

[Jim, Angela, and Phyllis raise their hands; Gabe enters, hiding Stanley's face]

Gabe:
[reveals Stanley's moustache] Ah! Ha ha ha!

Phyllis:
He does have a moustache.

Dwight:
Yes!

Pam:
Welcome back, Stanley.

[Stanley grunts]