Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)

Saleswoman:
Hello? Hi! Excuse me? Um, I'm looking for Ricky. I have his encyclopedias.

Ricky:
Trinity, come with me. Daddy bought you some encyclopedias so you can get smarter and you won't be stupid like Daddy when you get older!

Saleswoman:
Hi, sweetie!

Ricky:
So what's the damage?

Saleswoman:
Well, with tax it is $4,728.33, and that is the cash price.

Ricky:
What? For a bunch of fucking books?

Saleswoman:
Well, if you don't have it that's fine, but I have to tell you, that's a one-time price only...

Ricky:
Oh no, shhshhshh no no no...I've got lots of money, I've got the money right here. What are they, fucking printed in gold or something? Jesus Christ!

Jim:
Is that all the money you got, Ricky?

Ricky:
Well, I got...I thought I had more than this. I could sell some stuff, Lahey. I'll have your money tomorrow. I gotta do one thing at a time here.

Jim:
Well, well, well. What's it gonna be, Rick? You gonna buy the trailer? Or are you gonna kiss my bare ass right now in front of all these good people?

[Ricky looks at Trinity, then gives the money to the saleswoman]

Cory:
Oh my God, he's gonna do it, dude! Holy shit, it's ass-kissing time, man! Right on!

Trevor:
You deserve this, Ricky!

Sarah:
My God, Lucy let's... let's get Trinity out of here right now.

Lucy:
Ricky, you did the right thing.

Ricky:
Let's fucking get this over with, Lahey.

Jim:
(unbuckles his belt) It would be my pleasure, Ricky!

Ricky:
Jesus Christ...

Jim:
Pucker up, boy! (pulls his pants down)

Randy:
Make it a quick one, Ricky!

Ricky:
Bite me, Randy.

[Ricky takes a big haul off of a wine bottle, gives Jim a peck on the ass]

Randy:
That's enough!

Trevor:
I can't believe he did that!

Cory:
Damn, that's sick, dude!

[Ricky spits]

Trevor:
I can't believe he did that! That's fuckin' gross, right?

Jim:
Well, I guess I won that one, Rick!

Randy:
Yeah, I hope you enjoyed that, Lahey.

Julian:
Leave him alone.