Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004)

Ray:
So tell me, buddy... What did you learn about being a man on the inside this time around, man?

Ricky:
Dad, not this shit!

Ray:
Not shit, Rick. I'm talking about your soul. And we're going to Midnight Mass tomorrow night too, boys, by the way...

Ricky:
No...

Ray:
Way it goes! What did you learn about being a man?

Ricky:
Mostly just family stuff. I mean, well, a man is... is supposed to... always be thinkin' about stuff about his family and for to make himself to do things that are gonna good-er the family up-around and good-er it up. And that is what is a man.

Ray:
Yeah. Yeah, no, you're, you're, you're right. But did you ever wonder why a smart guy like you is on this earth, Rick? Smart guy with a good soul, a guy who shouldn't be in jail?

Ricky:
Dad, don't be dissin' jail. Seriously. Don't fuckin' dis jail.

Ray:
I'm not dissing jail, Rick. I'm not dissing jail, buddy. I'm talking about your spirituality here, okay? Come on, spirituality!

Ricky:
Dad, I write letters every year, you know that. I mean, I'm sending a letter off to the big guy tomorrow. So, it's taken care of. Done. No problem.

Ray:
Huh?

Ricky:
The letters... You and Mom got me to write them every year at Christmas. I'm sending one off tomorrow again.

Ray:
To Santa Claus, Rick?!

Ricky:
Yeah, the big guy.

Bubbles:
The big guy?! The big guy? That's God, Ricky.

Ricky:
Yeah, God. That's what I said. Santa.

Ray:
Ricky, come on, you know Santa and God aren't the same guy, right?

Ricky:
Dad, you didn't know that? I mean, think about it! How would he get around the world in one night? Of course he's the same person. Right, Bubs?

Bubbles:
No, Ricky. Santa and God, that's two different things.

Ricky:
What?...

Ricky:
Oh my fuck! You know, I did maybe think that I fucked that up. I wasn't sure, and I didn't want to say anything just in case Santa was God. Like, it would obviously, probably, wouldn't it piss him off that I got that mixed up like that?

Ray:
Ah, Jesus Ricky!

Ricky:
But it'd piss him off!

Ray:
Well, yeah, Ricky but... Man!

Ricky:
You never mixed that up?

Ray:
No!

Ricky:
Bubs, you never mixed that up?

Bubbles:
No, Ricky. I've never mixed that one up. Ricky, wait now. Were you counting on Santa to bring presents to Trinity?

Ricky:
Yeah. What, Santa's not coming now?

Ray:
No! Rick, no.

Ricky:
Well that's fuckin' bullshit! Well I've got no presents! What am I supposed to do? I need presents for Lucy and Trinity!

Ricky:
Great! Christmas is fucked!