United States of Al, Season 1

Al:
Vanessa, having tea is an important part of my culture. It facilitates dialogue, even among the most bitter enemies. During the war, Riley and I would do this to try to resolve disputes.

Vanessa:
I get that, Al, but I just really don't think this is gonna help us.

Riley:
Yeah, I already told him that.

Vanessa:
Oh, shut up.

Al:
Of course, in Afghanistan, we were mostly dealing with murderous warlords. This is my first time working with a married couple.

Vanessa:
Well, we won't be married for long.

Riley:
Why'd you even come here? I mean, don't you have anything better to do?

Vanessa:
I came out of respect for the guy who saved your life.

Riley:
You came to punish me.

Vanessa:
I don't have to punish you, Riley. You punish yourself.

Al:
I have to tell you both, I am missing the warlords right now. Vanessa, why don't you tell me what you think went wrong with your marriage?

Vanessa:
Oh, Al, I don't even know where to start. I mean, the mood swings, the drinking. He won't go get help. He refused to go to counseling. I just had enough.

Al:
Okay, thank you. I have only been here one day, but I have also seen the mood swings and the drinking.

Riley:
Hey. Whose side are you on?

Al:
I am in the middle. Look. This is on purpose.

Vanessa:
I'm sorry, but I'm done trying to raise my daughter with a guy who I can't trust.

Al:
I understand that, too. When I met Riley, I did not trust him either. And I was right not to trust him. Did you know the first time he gave me a gun, he did not put bullets in it?

Vanessa:
You're kidding.

Al:
I am not, and I discovered this in the middle of a firefight.

Riley:
I had to know you weren't gonna shoot me.

Al:
And in that moment, when I was clicking away and nothing was coming out, I really wanted to. The point is, we did not trust each other then. But we do now. Trust is earned.

Vanessa:
Well, he's got a long way to go.

Al:
Oh, I agree.

Vanessa:
Right now, he's at zero with me.

Al:
Oh. Zero is good. I would not have gone that high.

Vanessa:
But I do like you.

Al:
You know what's funny? The warlords also liked me and not him. Vanessa, you are as wonderful a woman as Riley always said. I'm so glad we finally got to meet.

Vanessa:
Me, too.

Riley:
Excuse me. But, we haven't resolved a thing here.

Al:
No, but we are talking, which is a good first step. If the two of us could learn a language he does not know, that might be helpful for the future.

Vanessa:
I speak a little French.

Al:
Ah. Moi aussi.

Riley:
I can learn French.

Al:
Just drink your tea.

Vanessa:
So, what other nice things did he say about me?

Al:
Where do I begin? Your hair, your eyes, your laugh...

Riley:
Oh, come on!