United States of Al, Season 1

Art:
Lose something?

Lizzie:
Don't worry about it.

Art:
Geez. Hope you find your manners in there. Why do you got so much stuff in your purse?

Lizzie:
What am I, a guest on your podcast? I lost Michael's dog tags.

Art:
Oh... Well, okay, don't worry. They'll turn up.

Lizzie:
Oh, yeah. Here they are.

Art:
Oh, really?

Lizzie:
No.

Art:
Well, where'd you lose them?

Lizzie:
I don't know. That's what "lost" means.

Art:
I'm surprised. I just never seen you take them off.

Lizzie:
I don't. I had them on last night and I went to the party and then they must have fallen off somewhere.

Art:
Well, no problem. Where was this party?

Lizzie:
It was out by Walnut Creek.

Art:
That's just woods. Who has a party in the woods?

Lizzie:
Bad people. Who do you think?

Art:
All right. Let's go find them.

Lizzie:
There's no way.

Art:
Not without assistance.

Lizzie:
What do you mean?

Art:
I got a friend. Walk with me. Bertha, we need your help.

Lizzie:
Your friend is a rifle?

Art:
That's Emily. Bertha's my metal detector. Hello, darling.

Lizzie:
There's a reason you're not dating.