United States of Al, Season 1

Lizzie:
Okay, next question. For better visibility while driving in rain, fog or snow, you should keep your blank on.

Art:
Pants.

Al:
The answer is low beams.

Art:
Not as funny.

Al:
Hello, mother. How are you doing?

Khala:
Hello, my son. How are you? Did you get your license yet?

Al:
My test is tomorrow. Today, we went shopping and I got new clothes.

Khala:
Wow! You look like Angelina Jolie's husband.

Al:
And mom, check this out.

Khala:
Where are the rest of your pants?

Al:
They're called shorts. Everyone wears them here.

Khala:
Shorts? I do not like them.

Al:
They are great. They have so many pockets.

Art:
Pepper shaker.

Khala:
There's no way God will accept your prayers wearing that thing.

Lizzie:
What'd she say?

Al:
I'm her favorite son.

Riley:
Hey, what about me?

Khala:
Oh, it's my American son. Hello, Riley Jaan.

Riley:
Salaam, Khala Jaan.

Khala:
Look. Riley is wearing pants like a man. Why can't you be more like Riley?

Riley:
What'd she say about me?

Al:
You look fatter than she remembers.