United States of Al, Season 1

Al:
I must imagine that, when you were younger, you were very successful with the ladies.

Art:
That's a weird thing to imagine, but you're not wrong.

Al:
So, what kind of women did you date? Educated? Uneducated but with a strong work ethic?

Art:
Well, I was an 18-year-old Marine who could do 100 pull-ups, so any kind I wanted.

Riley:
You could not do 100 pull-ups.

Art:
I got it on Super 8 in a box somewhere.

Riley:
My record's 30.

Art:
Yeah, what can I tell ya? You're weak.

Al:
Riley, this is not about you. It is about your father and the kind of woman he fancies.

Lizzie:
You know what I'd fancy? A different conversation.

Al:
Now, I bet the women would like you as much now as when you were a young man.

Art:
Where are you heading with this, Al?

Al:
I'm just commenting that you are still very desirable. You own your own business. You have a home. You have many skills.

Lizzie:
You can fall asleep standing up.

Riley:
You can open a beer with your teeth.

Al:
And you know many jokes. I don't get most of them. But, I sense they are funny.