United States of Al, Season 2

Art:
Oh, that's not kale in there, is it?

Lizzie:
Can we not have the kale conversation?

Art:
I like iceberg.

Lizzie:
I know.

Art:
It knows what it is. It's not trying to be all fancy.

Lizzie:
I know.

Riley:
Check it out. Boom!

[The tattoo reads:
"Holly".]

Art:
Oh, on the ribs. Did it hurt?

Riley:
Yeah.

Lizzie:
Oh, my God. Why did you do that?

Riley:
Because it's awesome.

Lizzie:
Does she know about this?

Riley:
No, it's a surprise.

Al:
Big surprise.

Lizzie:
Oh, dude, this may be the dumbest thing you've ever done.

Riley:
No, it's romantic.

Lizzie:
No, it's stupid. You're gonna freak her out.

Al:
Why are you the enemy of romance?

Riley:
I want her to know I'm crazy about her.

Lizzie:
Well, she'll definitely get the crazy part.

Riley:
You don't know her like I do.

Lizzie:
She's cool, laid-back and independent.

Riley:
Okay. You know her a little.

Lizzie:
And this tattoo makes you look weird, desperate, and really clingy.

Riley:
It does.

Art:
Oh, yeah. Now I see it. Too bad. I liked her.

Riley:
Okay, you guys are crazy. She's not gonna break up with me over a tattoo.

Art:
Spilt milk, buddy. Let it go.

Al:
I tried to talk him out of it.