Veep, Season 6

[Richard is about to donate sperm for Catherine and Marjorie's baby]

Richard:
I've never done this before.

Catherine:
Well, you just go in there, and...

Richard:
No, I mean I've never, ah, "shook the Devil's hand".

Marjorie:
You mean... masturbate?

Richard:
Well, "self-husband". Does it hurt?

Catherine:
No, no, Richard...

Marjorie:
How is that possible?

Richard:
Well, my family in Iowa is pretty religious. Grandma Splett always said that self-pleasure was a sin, like microwaves or laughter.

Catherine:
Do you need a minute?

Richard:
No. Worse comes to worse, I'll just burn in hell, like Grandma Splett.