Veep, Season 6

Jeff:
Hello, Jonie.

Jonah:
Ugh, fuck. Hello, Uncle Jeff.

Jeff:
Now, why do you think I'm here?

Jonah:
To wish me a speedy recovery?

Jeff:
No. Wishes belong at the bottom of a well with unwanted girl children. Actually, I'm here to thank you...

Jonah:
Well, fine, you're welcome for whatever.

Jef:
...for shitting the urinal so badly, you made the Hindenburg look like a normal, on-time blimp landing.

Jonah:
Uncle Jeff, people loved the shutdown--

Jeff:
SHUT THE FUCK UP!! You epileptic Picasso painting!

Shawnee:
Uh, you can't talk to him like that!

Jeff:
[imitating Shawnee] "Uh, you can't talk to him like that!" Who is this tranny knuckle-dragger? Someone you hired to make sure you don't get erections?

Jonah:
That tranny knuckle-dragger is my fiancée.

Shawnee:
Jonah!

Jonah:
Her name is Shawnee Tanz, and you will treat her with respect!

Jeff:
Tanz? As in Sherman Tanz?

Shawnee:
That's right. He's my father.

Jeff:
Oh, royalty. Well, then, I guess I should say I'm sorry...

Shawnee:
Thank you.

Jeff:
...sorry that you're even related to that human melted candle who puts the "Jew" in "Why people hate Jews". Tell me this, did he sell your training bras as cum rags to the sex offenders in his prisons? Listen here, Ms. Tranz, as of today, Jonie here is down three points to that wop wonder DeVincentis, so I am pulling this Creature From The Jizz Lagoon right off the New Hampshire Congressional ballot and replacing him with his cousin Ezra

Jonah:
What?!

Jeff:
Ezra has more raw political talent in the tip of his rosy-headed pecker than you have in this mangled abortion coat hanger you should be ashamed to call your body! The people of New Hampshire are going to be so grateful to me, I'm gonna be like a disability check wrapped around a pack of no-filter cigarettes.