WWE SmackDown!, 2002

[Kurt Angle comes out to the ring for his match against Rey Mysterio. The crowd chants "you suck" along to his music]

Michael Cole:
And welcome to the season premiere of SmackDown!, the only place you can see the Olympic gold medalist, Kurt Angle! [after Kurt poses and the pyro goes off for his entrance] And Kurt Angle on his way to the ring, set for action against Rey Mysterio, and Angle will be a part of SmackDown! next week in Colorado Springs; who knows what awaits us there!

Tazz:
Well, let's talk about the major media coverage for the season premiere of SmackDown!.

Michael:
That's tonight!

Tazz:
Good job! Billy and Chuck right in the thick of it! They did the Today show, the tomato, they did Howard Stern - well, they didn't really do Stern, but they were on his show; they were in the, uh, New York Post, that covers the newspaper in New York, and then the USA Today which, uh, covers America! [singing] America, America! [Michael laughs]

[the crowd boos as Kurt takes the microphone]

Kurt Angle:
How appropriate! We're here in "Mini"...and I have a return match with Rey Mysterio! Pretty funny, huh? Get it? Rey Mysterio being "mini" -

Tazz:
Good segue.

Kurt:
- you know, short? Oh, come on, people, that's funny!

Tazz:
I like that bit. I hate short people!

Kurt:
It's a heck of a lot funnier than me gettin' the Stinkface last week! [the crowd cheers] Oh yeah, people were yuckin' it up then, they thought it was hilarious!

Crowd:
What?

Kurt:
Well, I'll tell you what's not gonna be so funny...

Crowd:
What?

Kurt:
...what I'm about to do to Rey Mysterio tonight!

Crowd:
What?

Kurt:
...you people like Rey Mysterio, huh?

Crowd:
What? [cheers]

Kurt:
That figures...since most of you would benefit from wearing a mask yourselves!

Crowd:
What?

[Tazz laughs]

Kurt:
Oh yeah, you betcha!

Tazz:
"You betcha"? "Betcha"?

Kurt:
And Chris Benoit, if I even see you laugh at me again... [the crowd starts a "you suck" chant] ...Chris Benoit, if I even see you laugh at me again...there's gonna be two holy unions tonight! ["What?"] Billy and Chuck... ["What?"] ...and your face and my fist!

Crowd:
What? [boos]

Kurt:
And Rey Mysterio! I want you to remember one thing! ["What?"] You're a boy... ["What?"] ...in a man's world! ["What?"] And I'm a man who loves to play with boys! [suddenly looks confused]

Crowd:
What?

Tazz:
What the-?!

Kurt:
No no no, wait a minute, wait a minute, SHUT UP! Hold on, no-no-no-no! Shut up! Hold on a second! Hold on a second! [mouthing "shut up" to the cheering crowd] What I meant to say...! Listen! [the crowd chants "you suck" again] Mysterio!! Rey Mysterio, what I meant to say...is you're a boy...and I'm a man! And tonight, I'm gonna love to manhandle you...no, wait a minute!

[the crowd cheers as Kurt smacks himself in the head over what he just said; Michael and Tazz both laugh]

Tazz:
Kurt! Put the mic down...

Michael:
Stop while you're ahead!

Kurt:
Hold on a second, hold on a second...

Tazz:
Put the mic down!

Kurt:
Hold on - shut up! SHUT UP! Shut up! Rey Mysterio! You remember this, pal! You're a boy, and I'm a man! And when you and I get together here tonight, I'm gonna get on top of you, and - no no-! [begins jumping up and down in frustration as the crowd cheers again and the hosts continue to laugh] Mysterio, get your butt out here, 'cause I'm gonna kick your butt!! [finally drops the mic]

Tazz [laughing]:
Oh, Kurt! Well, he's a hell of a wrestler, though!

Michael:
The Olympic champion Kurt Angle meets Rey Mysterio, next!