You're the Worst, Season 3

Paul:
Never thought squirrel could be so delicious.

Vernon:
Nuts are high in protein and fat. Makes for tender flesh. People forget I'm a doctor and I know shit. Hey. Check out his little squirrel dick. You dare me to flick it?

Paul:
Ugh.

Vernon:
I didn't know we'd get lost. I was just trying to buy more time. You don't understand. It's a nightmare over there. Becca makes me wear full pajamas so our skins don't touch.

Paul:
Lindsay may have stabbed me intentionally.

Vernon:
I only get 20% of the TiVo. And Becca's always erasing my shows "accidentally." I missed all last season of The Librarians.

Paul:
Lindsay orders takeout for one. One time I took a French fry, and she made me give her a dollar even though it was on my credit card.

Vernon:
Becca once held my head in the toilet for a minute when I forgot to flush a duke.

Paul:
Lindsey's cucking me.

Vernon:
Yeah, no kidding.

Paul:
No, seriously. That guy I mentioned earlier, Raul, he's her bull.

Vernon:
What? Whoa. What? So he porks her and you have to watch? What? Damn, that's crazy! Jesus, why doesn't anything cool ever happen to me?