Game of Thrones, Season 3

Tyrion Lannister:
A surprising place to keep the Royal Ledgers.

Petyr Baelish:
I'm surprised you're surprised. This is the safest place in the city.

Tyrion Lannister:
Not for bastards (Baelish glares at him momentarily)

Ros:
That's all of them, m'Lord. (passes the ledgers to Podrick, smiling at him flirtatiously)

Tyrion Lannister:
Thank you, my dear. Pod- (notices Podrick is staring at Ros' bosom) Pod. (Podrick turns to him) Take them outside. I'll be there in a moment.

Podrick Payne:
Yes, m'Lord. (he leaves; Ros follows, smiling back at Tyrion and Petyr, who both watch her go)

Petyr Baelish:
I hear you owe that boy a... significant debt.

Tyrion Lannister:
Only my life- not all that significant, I'm afraid.

Petyrn Baelish:
You should have him kighted.

Tyrion Lannister:
(sarcastically) Ohh, if only the Master of Coin had such power!

Petyr Baelish:
If only. (pause) I owe you a significant debt. Our redheaded friend (gestures in the general direction of Ros' departure)... you secured her release when the Queen detained her.

Tyrion Lannister:
Oh- that. Of course. A simple misunderstanding.

Petyr Baelish:
(smiles dangerously) Apparently, Her Grace believed the two of you had some sort of...special relationship.

Tyrion Lannister:
We don't. (pause) I did f*** her, once.

Petyr Baelish:
I know.

Tyrion Lannister:
(confused) But- we dont.

Petyr Baelish:
(chuckles) I know- but how would the Queen get that idea?

Tyrion Lannister:
(smirks) Why don't you ask her? (he heads towards the door, followed by Baelish) Any advice for me, on my new position?

Petyr Baelish:
...Keep a low profile?

Tyrion Lannister:
If I had a golden dragon for every time I've heard that stupid joke, I'd be richer than you are.

Petyr Baelish:
Well, you are richer than I am.

Tyrion Lannister:
(nods) Good point.

Petyr Baelish:
They're only numbers- numbers on paper. Once you understand them, it's easy to make them behave. You want a real challenge? (pulls the door open a crack, letting in the sounds of prostitutes giggling.) Try whores.

Tyrion Lannister:
(smiles) I've tried quite a few. Well, lots of work to do. (cryptically) Enjoy the Eyrie.