Game of Thrones, Season 3

Joffrey Baratheon:
[after threatening to rape Sansa] Time for the bedding ceremony!

Tyrion Lannister:
There will be no bedding ceremony.

Joffrey:
[leading Sansa by the hand] Where's your respect for tradition, uncle?! Come, everyone! Pick her up, and carry her to her wedding bed! Get rid of her gown, she won't be needing it any longer! [pointing] Ladies! Attend to my uncle, he's not heavy!

Tyrion Lannister:
There will be no bedding ceremony.

Joffrey Baratheon:
[annoyed] There will be if I command it!

[Tyrion angrily slams his dagger into the table, startling Joffrey, and eliciting horrified silence from the wedding-goers]

Tyrion Lannister:
[raging] Then you'll be f***ing your own bride with a wooden cock!

[Lord Tywin, sensing danger, gets to his feet]

Joffrey:
[shocked, and seething] What did you say?... What...Did you. SAY!?

Tywin Lannister:
I believe we can dispense with the bedding ceremony, Your Grace. I'm sure Tyrion did not mean to threaten the king. [Tyrion visibly swallows his anger and grins]

Tyrion Lannister:
[laughs] A bad joke, Your Grace. Made out of envy of your own royal manhood. Mine is so small, my poor wife won't even know I'm there.

Tywin Lannister:
Your uncle is clearly quite drunk, Your Grace.