Monk, Season 6

[Monk walks upstairs to a bedroom in Matthew Teeger's house, and sees Julia sitting in a rocking chair with her back to him]

Monk:
Mrs. Teeger? Julia? Don't be afraid. I'm with the police, ma'am. We think young Matthew may be involved in some things. Do you know where he is, ma'am? We just want to talk to him. [No answer] I... excuse me? Are-are you okay?

[He looks again, and sees the chair is rocking because of a breeze from the open window]

Monk:
Are... are you dead?

[He picks up a hairbrush with a tissue and edges forward]

Monk:
Please be alive... please be alive... please be alive... please don't be one of those skeleton ladies... [The camera angle reveals that it actually is a skeleton. Monk nudges the chair with the hairbrush. The figure pitches forward, and a glass eyeball plops to the floor]

Monk:
Please be dead! Please be dead! [he drops the handkerchief, disgusted]

[Cuts to Monk in Dr. Kroger's office]

Monk:
[grabbing a tissue] I just want to thank you again for seeing me on such short notice. Were you sleeping?

Dr. Charles Kroger:
No, no, no, happy to do it.

Monk:
Your wife wasn't too happy. I could hear her in the background.

Dr. Charles Kroger:
No, Madeleine is fine. It's part of the job and she knows that.

Monk:
Does she have Tourette syndrome?

Dr. Charles Kroger:
[thinking for a while] Yes! Yes she does. So, uh, a glass eyeball?

Monk:
The mother died three months ago, the son never reported it.

Dr. Charles Kroger:
Now, hang on, did the son kill the mother?

Monk:
Well the doctors say no. It was a heart aneurysm. Her son, Matthew, is an amateur taxidermist. He stuffed her body, carried her from room to room, like nothing happened.

Dr. Charles Kroger:
Yeah, I've heard of cases like that. You see, he couldn't function without her. And they call it radical cognitive bonding.

Monk:
At least I never dug Trudy up and had her stuffed and mounted, right?

Dr. Charles Kroger:
Yes, and I've always been very proud of you for that.