Robot Chicken, Season 2

Doctor:
Mr. President, your vitals seem to be all right, there is however one thing thought, your midichlorian count is extremely high.

Bush:
Does that mean I'm one of them- whata call 'em- Jedis? [thinks then uses the force to pull down the doctors pants] Heheheheheheh.

[scene change to Bush and his wife in bed]

Laura Bush:
Oh not tonight, I'm tired honey.

Bush:
[mind trick] You're not tired, you wanna have a threesome.

Laura Bush:
[eyes widen] I'm not tired, I want to have a threesome.

Bush:
[picks up telephone] Get me Condi! Heheheheh.

[scene change to a parking lot at McDonalds; Bush is about to park when Bill Clinton takes his spot]

Clinton:
Awww, sorry W, Big Mac attack! Yeeeeeeeheeeew! [Bush is angry and uses the force to drop Clinton and his car in a nearby lake] Hey, what the dilly?

Bush:
Heheheheheheh!

[scene change to George Bush using lightsaber to carve the words "W wuz hear" into the Lincoln Memorial] Heheh, saber beats rock.

[statue lifts up revealing Abraham Lincoln]

Bush:
What the hell?

Lincoln:
Who dares disturb my slumber?

Bush:
Who dares question my...daring...of...his dare?...Jerk!

Lincoln:
It is I...I who freed the slaves...I who-

Bush:
Boring! Let's fight! [Lincoln draws a lightsaber and they begin the fight, Bush corners Lincoln]

Lincoln:
If you strike me down, I shall become - [Bush raises his saber for the kill] No, wait a minute, lemme finish - [gets sliced and dies like Obi-Wan Kenobi in A New Hope'] Agghhh!

Bush:
That'll teach you, George Washington!

[scene change to Cloud City where Darth Vader tells Luke Skywalker he is his father]

Bush:
Jenna, get over here right now! I am your father!

Jenna:
[on the thing Luke was on] That's not true! That's impossible! My real father would let me go clubbing as late as I want! [flips him off]

Bush:
Why you little - [slices off her middle finger]

Jenna:
Owwww!

Bush:
No baby, I'm sorry!

Jenna:
[she falls] Arrggghh, [distant] you suck!

Bush:
Nooooooooooo -

[scene change to Bush asleep on his desk; he wakes up]

Bush:
Wa- Was it all just a dream?

Senator:
[rushes in] Mr. President, we still haven't found any weapons of mass destruction!

Bush:
[tries to do a mind trick] You have found weapons of mass destruction.

Senator:
Uhh...hi. We haven't.

Bush:
[tries again] You have.

Senator:
[sighs] Uh, I don't know what you're doing.

Bush:
[still waving his hand] Bring me a taco.

Senator:
Yes sir. [runs out of the office]

Bush:
Heheheh, tacos rule.