A Series of Unfortunate Events, Season 2

[At Café Salmonella]

Larry Your-Waiter:
Hello, I'm Larry, your waiter. Welcome to Café Salmonella, the city's innest restaurant, and the only restaurant serving an all-salmon menu, including beverages and table linens! [begins handing out menus]

Sunny:
<Larry?>

Violet:
It's that same waiter. He's everywhere we go--

Klaus:
He's always trying to help us.

"Gunther"/Olaf:
[without fake accent] Larry... [resumes accent] I, ah...I think I'm feeling queasy, please, and I need to run back to pretty lady's apartment, where there is nothing hidden, by the way!

Larry Your-Waiter:
[stops Olaf] Nonsense, sir! We've had the menu translated especially for our foreign guests.

"Gunther"/Olaf:
And what language did you have it translated into, please?

Larry Your-Waiter:
The one you speak most fluently.

"Gunther"/Olaf:
Ah, well, well, well, I speak all of them hella fluently!

Larry Your-Waiter:
[sits Olaf down as Olaf groans] Then there's nothing to worry about! [finishes handing out menus, then offers Jerome and Esmé two glasses of pinkish liquid] May I start you off with still or sparkling salmon-flavored water?

Esmé:
[incredulous] Salmon-flavored...? [laughs] You are making my mouth water and turn pink!

Jerome:
How do you make your water salmon-flavored?

Larry Your-Waiter:
We put salmon in it.

Jerome:
I'll have regular water, thank you.

Violet:
So would we.

Esmé:
Nonsense! Jerome, what if someone sees you drinking it? [to Violet and Klaus] Regular water isn't in!

Klaus:
But it's the primary ingredient in aqueous martinis...

Larry Your-Waiter:
I think the young people might enjoy playing along with the theme of Café Salmonella [holds up a piece of paper with "V.F.D." written on it] and its Virulently Fishy Decor!