Adventure Time, Season 3

Adventure Time is an American animated TV series created by Pendleton Ward. It follows the bizarre adventures of a young hero named Finn and his magical dog named Jake. The season premièred on April 5, 2010. more »

Ice King:
Okay, mister, you are really trying my patience! How clear can I be?! All I want you to do is hit them—on the shoulder, or something. [punches Scorcher's shoulder] Are you even listening? Oh, I get it. [takes a wad of dollar bills] Here's double the grease to not kill Finn and Jake. [Scorches incinerates money] You trying to hustle me, Scorcher? Okay. I'll play this game. How about this prize piece for your pad? [turns on sining deer head on a plague]

Singing Deer Head:
I wanna live, live, live I wanna live, live, live— [Scorcher burns it]

Ice King:
NOOOOOO!!! Huh. Okay... How about these bad boys—night vision x-ray goggles for when you have a lady houseguest? [Scorcher burns goggles off his face] Auh!! Come on! At least renegotiate the target! You can destroy my least favorite princesses. What about Lumpy Space Princess? [Scorcher burns LSP picture] Ghost Princess? I can't even hold her with my love mitts. [Scorcher burns GP picture] Aw, geez! Uh... [Scorches blasts fire in front of his face] Oh! A-A leg cramp, in my leg! Ow, ow! O-Oh, this is so embarrassing. I'll be right back. Ow! Ow!

[he hides behind left side of the entry]

Ice King:
[sighs] Think, baby. Come on. Ah! [pulls laptop out of his beard; starts typing "hitman hitman"] All right, let's hit the hitman, right? There's got to be a... Ah! "Blastronaut—#1 solution for all hitman problems." Sheesh! $99.95?! That's nuts! [clicks "place order"; enters target name] "Scor... cher." ["target acquired"]

[as Scorchers reads pages on a table, the wall suddenly explodes and Blastronaut bursts in, shooting lasers everywhere]

Ice King:
Sweet!

[Scorcher remains still until advancing to slice Blastronaut in half; a naked goblin jumps out of the suit. He sees Ice King behind him and jumps off the mountain]

Ice King:
No!! Come back, you wussy!! [turns to Scorcher] Ooh, that was weird. [Scorcher clenches his fiery fist] Was that your friend, or something? [chuckles nervously] Look, a supermodel! Look, a hoverboard! Look, the apocalypse! Someone got hit in the boingloings. [beat] Hit in the boingloings! ..Boingloings! Boingloings! Somebody got hit in them. [Scorcher turns left] Peace out!

[he freezes Scorcher and flies away, not before Scorcher starts melting his icy chamber]

Ice King:
Oh! Freakin' butt! Butt, butt, butt!

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Submitted by wikidude on June 03, 2024

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