Adventure Time, Season 3

Ice King:
"Hello, dear diary. Pretty good day so far. Got up bright and early, had a healthy and slimming breakfast, did fourteen minutes of cardio, and then I finally got around to..." [continues]

Jake:
Dude... what are we watchin'?

Finn:
I think it's the Ice King's diary.

Ice King:
"I mean, I'm not gonna win carpenter of the year or anything, but it's a place to hang up the old toothbrush." [a Gunther jumps on bed]

Gunther:
"Wenk." [walks to the camera]

Ice King:
"Gunther. Hey, Gunther. Get-get away from the camera, sweetie. Papa's recording his innermost thoughts. 'Member, I explained this to you? [Gunther rubs his belly] Hey, Gunther? [Gunther jumps up and down] GUNTHER!!"

Gunther:
"Wenk."

Ice King:
"Well, anyway, as you can see, I'm not wearing my—"

Gunther:
"Wenk."

Ice King:
"I'm not wearing my—"

Gunther:
"Wenk, wenk."

Ice King:
"Sweetie, I raised my voice because you were giving me the silent treatment. You understand?"

Gunther:
"Wenk."

Ice King:
"I love you."

Jake:
Can we fast-forward?

Finn:
N-No, man. We might miss something.

Ice King:
[sighs] "There must be more to life than this."

Gunther:
"Wenk."

Ice King:
"I know, you don't like when I'm contemplative. C-Contemplative? No. Con-tem-plat— C— Let's put on a play!"

Jake:
What?! [cut footage to Ice King in PB makeup and Gunther with crown and beard]

Ice King:
"Oh, Ice King, you're so cool! You take such good care of yourself! I wanna be with you! [Gunter then pulls off beard] No, Gunther, beard stays on."

Gunther:
"Wenk."

Ice King:
"Gunther, I need you to wear the beard!"

Gunther:
"Wenk."

Ice King:
"Gunther!"

Jake:
Hey, pause it, Beemo.

Finn:
There's gotta be some evil secrets in here. I wanna keep watching.

Jake:
Okay.. Well, why don't I make us some snacks? [sluggish] So I don't have to watch this...

BMO:
Can we sit on the floor? I feel so far away from you guys.