ALF, Season 1

[Willie's graduation dream]

Willie:
Where am I?

Dean Houseman:
You're at your graduation.

Willie:
What am I graduating from?

Dean Houseman:
This is a dream, Tanner. Its purpose is to point out how inadequate you are compared to everyone else.

Willie:
That sound like fun.

Dean Houseman:
Would you mind standing off to the side? Nolan Westwood come on out and accept your diploma? Congratulations Nolan on being a successful unicyclist world traveler and New Guinea and Cape.

Nolan:
Thank you here are some stamps and coins.

Willie:
He is on the money to?

Dean Houseman:
Tanner.

Nolan:
Listen, I've got to go they're having a little ceremony for me back home I'm being bumped up from King to God

Willie:
Congratulations Nolan.

Nolan:
Thanks bud.

Dean Houseman:
And now, our next recipient needs no introduction. Ladies and gentlemen, Joe Namath! Just kidding, here you go, Joe.

Joe:
Thanks, say what's going on here?

Dean Houseman:
Willie's having a dream

Joe:
Willie!

Willie:
Hello Joe. I'm sorry to drag you into this.

Joe:
Oh hey, that's cool I've been doing a lot of dreams lately. Next week, I'm doing a Howard Cosell nightmare.

Willie:
Oh gee, Joe, you've done awfully well. Say, would you would you autograph this for my son, Brian?

Joe:
Absolutely. [he signs on Willie's back] There you go.

Willie:
Thanks Joe. "To Brian", "tell your mom hello."

Joe:
You know what I always think about what Kate said when I proposed to her. Yeah and that's how I got the bad knees by the way kneeling. She said Broadway she always called me Broadway she said thanks but no thanks. I'm looking for someone that's predictable and safe. So long, Willie. [leaves as he plummets]

Willie:
I'm going skydiving tomorrow.

Dean Houseman:
I'm going skydiving tomorrow. You had your chance. And now it gives me great pleasure to introduce our man of the century. Someone whose accomplishments but the rest of us to shame. A person of whom it can truly be said he changed the way we look at the world. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Gordon "ALF" Shumway.

[the three men come up to greet ALF]

Joe:
Can I have your autograph?

ALF:
Sure Joe.

Joe:
Oh wait till my friends see this.

ALF:
Oh there you go.

Joe:
Thanks.

Willie:
ALF.

ALF:
Willie.

Willie:
ALF.

ALF:
Willie.

Willie:
You're the man of the century?

ALF:
Yeah, what a surprise. I was happy just to be nominated, what a kick!

Willie:
Well congratulations.

ALF:
Thanks. Hey Willie, you never know, next century it could be you.

Willie:
I don't think so. Hey, come on, don't be so negative. All you have to do is take this parachute and jump Willie.

ALF:
Jump, jump.

Everyone:
Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump. [they echo as Willie gets shocked]