ALF, Season 1

ALF:
Oh good, everyone's here. Where's Kate?

Willie:
Inside the shower.

ALF:
Thanks! [exits the living room]

Lynn:
He wouldn't.

Willie:
He might! [Kate screams from the shower] He did.

ALF:
[reappears in the living room] Found her!

Willie:
ALF, you don't walk into other people's showers.

ALF:
I didn't walk in. I just pulled the curtain open.

Willie:
I insist that you respect my wife's privacy.

ALF:
Alright, alright. We're movin' on. I need to have a family meeting here. [hangs up the phone that Lynn is using]

Lynn:
[angrily] ALF!

ALF:
They'll call back.

Kate:
[angrily] You do that again, you're a seat cover!

ALF:
Do what again?

Kate:
You know what!

Lynn:
ALF, that was very rude hanging up the phone like that.

ALF:
You're right. I'm sorry. You look a little different today.

Lynn:
Oh I know I got-

ALF:
Did you used to have a moustache?

Lynn:
No. I got my braces off.

ALF:
Yeah but didn't you used to have a moustache too?

Kate:
ALF, what do have to say that's so important?

ALF:
Today is March the 1st.

Willie:
You better not be finished.

ALF:
I wasn't. Tomorrow is the 2nd.

Lynn:
I'm calling Mindy back.

ALF:
Hey wait, wait. Come here. Come back here. Every 75 years on March 2nd, I go through a complex physiological and psychological transformation.

Brian:
What?

ALF:
I go goofy. All Melmacians go through it. From sunrise to sunset my personality will change dramatically.

Willie:
How dramatic is this change?

ALF:
One never knows till it happens. But expect the unexpected. Wildly erratic behavior, personality shifts. The main thing is that I'll do anything to get out of that cage and get my hands on a cat. Any questions?

Willie:
I have one.

ALF:
You in the tie.

Willie:
What cage?

ALF:
Oh, ah, the cage you're going to build for me. The one with the reinforced sides.