ALF, Season 1

Willie:
[wakes up and finds ALF] ALF, what's going on?

ALF:
Don't ask.

Kate:
What are you talking about?

ALF:
I'm talking about murder. I'm talking about mayhem. I'm talking about foul play.

Willie:
ALF, get to the point or go back to sleep.

ALF:
Alright. I just saw Mr. Ochmonek kill Mrs. Ochmonek.

Willie:
Oh, come on.

ALF:
I'm serious. I heard them fighting. Then I saw Mr. Ochmonek pick up an ice pick.

Willie:
Maybe you misinterpreted things.

ALF:
Oh, right. Maybe they were playing ice pick bingo.

Kate:
ALF, you we're always doing. Do you remember when you thought Mr. Littwak was building an atomic bomb in his basement?

ALF:
It was an atomic bomb.

Willie:
It was a pool heather.

ALF:
Ha! The Littwak's don't even own a pool.

Kate:
Yes, they do.

ALF:
They do? Can we go over?

Willie:
Look, it's hot tonight, you're tired. You're having a hard time distinguishing fantasy from reality.

ALF:
So you're saying I'm crazy?

Willie:
I'm saying your mind may have been playing tricks on you.

ALF:
Fine, don't believe me. They didn't believe The Boy Who Cried Wolf.

Willie:
The Boy Who Cried Wolf lied.

ALF:
He did? I've gotta stop speed-reading books.