ALF, Season 1

ALF:
We are pals, aren't we?

Brian:
Yeah.

ALF:
So, what's the problem? It's that Spencer guy, isn't it? Well, let me tell you a little story about a guy who had the same problem you did. A guy named Gordon.

Brian:
Who's he?

ALF:
Someone I grew up with on Melmac. Nice kid. Handsome, intelligent, great athlete, wonderful sense of humor.

Brian:
It was you, wasn't it?

ALF:
How'd you guess? Anyway, I was doing a little dinner-

Brian:
Your name's really Gordon?

ALF:
Yeah, Gordon.

Brian:
That's funny.

ALF:
It's my mother's maiden name, alright?

Brian:
Sorry.

ALF:
Anyway, back on Melmac. I was in a little dinner theater production of Man of La Mancha. I was playing Sancho Panza. It was opening night. There was a full house. I was about to sing my 1st number, when suddenly I froze. I was like this, yeah!

Brian:
Your name is really Gordon?

ALF:
Just go with me on this, okay? I'm up there, I'm frozen, I can't remember my opening number. The audience was getting hostile. They were ready to start throwing bread sticks at me, when the guy who played Don Quixote pulled me aside, and gave me this good luck charm.

Brian:
A tooth?

ALF:
Yeah. His 124 year molar.

Brian:
Did it bring you good luck?

ALF:
You bet. I got through my song, plus The Impossible Dream and every other song in the show. For an encore, I even did a couple of numbers from Gypsy.

Brian:
Yeah, but will it work on asparagus songs?

ALF:
No problem.

Brian:
Don Quixote says the tooth works on vegetables too.

[the car honks]

ALF:
Look, just stick that in your back pocket, and you'll go out there and knock them dead.

Brian:
Great. I will! Thanks, Gordon.

ALF:
Don't worry, kid. You'll be swell. [Brian leaves the house] Oh no! Brian!