ALF, Season 2

[Willie comes in the kitchen and turns off the TV ALF is watching]

ALF:
Hey! I wanted to watch Crazy Steve tear a drumstick off that tarantula.

Willie:
It's 3:00 in the morning, ALF.

ALF:
What's time to a spider, Willie?

Willie:
Why is the TV in here?

ALF:
Because I couldn't move the refrigerator out there.

Willie:
Don't touch that dial.

ALF:
I love when you're assertive.

Willie:
Go. Sleep. Now.

ALF:
Can I just ask one bedtime question?

Willie:
Yeah, what?

ALF:
I saw Polka Jamboree tonight. It's really funny. Why does it get such crummy ratings?

Willie:
For one thing, it's not supposed to be funny.

ALF:
What's the other thing?

Willie:
Nobody watches it.

ALF:
Next question.

Willie:
I thought there was gonna be 1 question here.

ALF:
This is the bonus round. What happens to a show when it's ratings are bad?

Willie:
It gets cancelled.

ALF:
[gasps] You mean Polka Jamboree could be cancelled?

Willie:
We can only hope. Good night, ALF.

ALF:
Wait, wait. If more people watched Polka Jamboree, the rating would go up right?

Willie:
Yes, but that would take a miracle.

ALF:
Well miracle, huh? Well just call me the miracle worker.