ALF, Season 2

ALF:
Hey, you look good in Vinyl. How are you doing? Nice to meet you. Happy Halloween everybody!

Everyone:
Happy Halloween!

Willie:
Say, what are you doing here?

ALF:
Greeting the guests. Hey, Tex! Looks like you're putting on weight there. [laughs]

Willie:
Could I speak with you in the kitchen just for a moment?

ALF:
Hey, not now Willie. Your pumpkin's on fire. Ha! His pumpkin is on fire!

Willie:
Come here!

Bernice:
Well, who is little this guy?

Willie:
This is Gordon, everyone. Gordon's an old friend of our family. Bernice, don't mention his height. He's very sensitive.

ALF:
Hey, cowgirl. Nice calves. Ha! Nice calves! [Willie takes him to the kitchen]

Willie:
Okay, mister. I want the truth! And I want it now!

ALF:
All right. Your hair is thinning.

Willie:
You got a hold of our guest list, didn't you. You called people and told them to wear costumes just so you could come.

ALF:
You dragged me in here to tell me things I already know?

Willie:
On top of that, you invited the Burkes.

ALF:
Again, old news.

Willie:
Just tell me why.

ALF:
Because I really want you to get that promotion. Now get out there and start kissing up.

Willie:
I'm not kissing up to anyone, especially not Walter Burke.

ALF:
I know you wouldn't. That's why I'm here to do it for you. Oh Wollie!

Willie:
No wait, wait. You can't go out there. What if they discover that you're an alien?

ALF:
They won't. They'll think I'm wearing a costume, see?

Willie:
Where did you get that zipper?

ALF:
Well, you know your old jacket that you were gonna throw out?

Willie:
Yeah.

ALF:
Better hang on to it. I ripped this out of your new raincoat.

Willie:
Alright, go on and go out there. I don't care. Go on, fine with me. Blow your cover, that's fine! Just do me one favor.

ALF:
Ok, ok. I'll do my Elvis impression.

Willie:
Please keep away from my boss.

ALF:
No problem, he seems like a yuts anyway. Ok, everybody! Let's tear this place apart!