ALF, Season 2

Lynn:
[while talking to Julie on the phone] No Julie, he hasn't called yet. How can he when you keep calling to see if he called?

ALF:
[comes in Lynn's room] Quick! Hang up! Dial 911. 9, uno, uno.

Lynn:
I gotta go, I'll text you later! Bye!

ALF:
Hurry up!

Lynn:
Wait a minute, I don't smell smoke.

ALF:
Where is it written that all my emergencies involve fire?

Lynn:
Sorry.

ALF:
It's Willie and Kate. They've been fighting all night!

Lynn:
Were you listening outside their door again?

ALF:
Inside their door. Under their bed. Anyway, I distinctly heard someone say, "Get off it, it isn't ALF's fault."

Lynn:
That was probably mom.

ALF:
Actually, it was me. Then they walked out on each other, Lynn. I'm an orphan! I don't want to be an orphan. I saw Annie. Orphans have to eat gruel, and tap dance with mops.

Lynn:
Listen to me. Mom and dad haven't abandoned us. They're having a little fight, that's all. I just hope mom wins, so I can go on that ski trip.

ALF:
They won't settle anything, without our help.

Lynn:
Our help?

ALF:
Please, Lynn. This is the only family that I've got.

Lynn:
This is the only family I've got.

ALF:
Really? No wonder you're always hanging around! Now, let's see. How would we solve this problem on Melmac?

Lynn:
Let me guess. You'd play Tug-of-War with a cat.

ALF:
No. That only takes your mind off your troubles. It never solves anything. Wait, I remember. To get a couple back together on Melmac, we'd recreate the happiest moment of their marriage.

Lynn:
I wonder what Mom and Dad's happiest moment was.

ALF:
The day they met me?

Lynn:
Think again.

ALF:
The day after they met me.

Lynn:
Keep thinking.

ALF:
I can't. My brain hurts. Aghhh!

Lynn:
Well, they're always talking about their honeymoon.

ALF:
Great! Yeah, that's it! Let's recreate their honeymoon. Where did they go?

Lynn:
Niagara Falls.

ALF:
Oh, real original.