ALF, Season 2

[ALF is decorating a party as Kate comes home with the groceries]

Kate:
ALF, what is going on here?

ALF:
We're celebrating. Uncle Albert is gone.

Kate:
He left without saying goodbye?

ALF:
It was rather sudden.

Willie:
Kate. Kate. [he hugs her]

ALF:
Where are my peaches?

Willie:
Is it true about Uncle Albert?

Kate:
Well, apparently so. I mean, talk about the perfect guest. He came, he was nice and he left before we got tired of him.

Willie:
Oh, Kate, please.

ALF:
Hey, come on, man! Lighten up. Here, have a hat.

Willie:
Have you no respect for the dead?

Kate:
Dead? ALF, you said Uncle Albert was gone.

ALF:
You thought he left?

Kate:
Oh, my God.

Willie:
What happened? ALF, exactly what happened?

ALF:
Well, I was in the tent watching TV.

Willie:
He saw you?

ALF:
Yeah. I offered him one of Kate's cookies, but he keeled over. Hey, don't take it personally. Some people just don't have a sweet tooth. Speaking of which, did you get those canned peaches, Willie? I need to finish basting the deceased. [Willie walks away] Hey, hey, let the guy marinate in peace!

Brian:
[as he comes home from school] Hey! Are we having a party?

ALF:
I'm trying to.

Kate:
This isn't a party.

ALF:
Sure it is! It's just like a birthday party only someone else has to blow out the candles.

Willie:
It's, it's true.

ALF:
Hey, come on. Don't blame yourself, Willie. Gosh, if anyone killed Uncle Albert, it was me.