ALF, Season 3

Lynn:
ALF, you scared me. What are you doing?

ALF:
What am I doing? What are you doing? What happened to Randy?

Lynn:
That wasn't Randy, that was someone else.

ALF:
Yeah. Someone who looks like a certain aging substitute novelist. Who shall remain last-nameless.

Lynn:
Ok, so it was Eddie. He just happened to be at the party, see--

ALF:
Yeah, yeah, and I just fell off the garbanzo truck. Come on. This is the old ALFer. What gives?

Lynn:
Okay, I haven't really been dating Randy. I've only been tutoring him for an hour in English each night and then going to meet Eddie.

ALF:
An hour a night? That's barely enough time for Randy to turn his book right side up.

Lynn:
ALF, please, don't tell mom and dad about this yet, ok? I know they'll like Eddie.

ALF:
They just need some time to adjust. Don't tell them? You want me to lie?

Lynn:
No! No, you don't have to lie. Just don't bring it up. That's not lying.

ALF:
Egad! What a loophole.

Lynn:
It's not like I'm never going to tell them. I just, I need to wait for the right moment. You know, like when they're in a really, really good mood.

ALF:
Yeah, well, let me know when that happens. And I'll tell them about the untimely demise of Kate's porcelain ballerina.

Lynn:
You broke mom's porcelain ballerina?

ALF:
Yeah. We were dancing the pas de duex from swan lake, and I dropped her in the toilet.