ALF, Season 3

[ALF is in Brian's room helping Brian pack]

ALF:
Sleeping bag.

Brian:
Yeah.

ALF:
Poncho.

Brian:
Yeah.

ALF:
Mess kit.

Brian:
It's in the closet. I'll get it.

ALF:
Brian?

Brian:
What?

ALF:
What's a mess kit?

Brian:
It's got a knife and a fork and some pans. I got it.

ALF:
Why don't you pack some important stuff, like tacoroni?

Brian:
I don't care. Pack whatever you want.

ALF:
I sense a growing disenchantment with this venture.

Brian:
Huh?

ALF:
How come you don't want to go camping?

Brian:
Can you keep a secret?

ALF:
No, but there's a first time for everything.

Brian:
I'm scared to. It's going to be dark out there.

ALF:
Oh, yeah. But there'll be lots of other kids around.

Brian:
That's even worse. They'll think I'm a baby.

ALF:
Well, just tell Willie, then. He'll take off his glasses, rub his nose, and tell you you don't have to go.

Brian:
I know, but he loves camping. He'll be real disappointed if he finds out I don't want to go.

Jake:
[comes in Brian's room] Where don't you want to go?

ALF:
Camping with the badger scouts.

Jake:
Bright boy.

ALF:
Tell him there's no reason to be scared.

Brian:
That was a secret, ALF.

ALF:
So revoke my security clearance.

Jake:
You know, I never went camping myself, but back in New York, I heard about this one scout troop. They camped in Central Park and were never heard from again. [laughs at Brian]

Brian:
Thanks a lot.

ALF:
Why don't we camp out in the backyard tomorrow night? I'll show you that it's not scary, just boring.

Brian:
I don't know.

ALF:
We'll stay up as late as we want, go to bed without brushing our teeth, eat hot dogs until we're 10% meat by products.

Brian:
Yeah.

ALF:
Come on, B. Live a little. You can come too, Jake.

Jake:
No thanks. I got a life.

Brian:
Might be fun. Sleeping outside.

Jake:
I like ceilings.

ALF:
Breathing clean, fresh air.

Jake:
In Los Angeles?

ALF:
Being right under Lynn's window?

Jake:
What do you want I should bring?