Almost Heroes, Season 1

Terry:
[Reading the label on a bottle of medication he is putting in Pete's cupcakes] Side effects include...sleep heroics.

[Peter has just mentioned that the actor who played his childhood hero Colonel Cannon is coming to town for a commercial]

Terry:
Still don't care.

Peter:
You willlll! Remember how his arch-nemesis was the [Peter makes quotation marks with his hands]] "Rat-King"?

Terry:
Oh, no no no. We're not giving away rats.

Peter:
I already bought 'em!

Terry:
You what!?

Peter:
Don't worry, all 200 of them are safe and sound inside this [Taps on empty cage] cage. Hmm... They're all gone.

Terry:
Course they are.

Peter:
Must've left the lid off. Probably for the best.

Terry:
Go on.

Peter:
Well, all the rats that were left over I was going to feed to our new pet snake.

Terry:
What snake?

Peter:
That twelve-foot boa constrictor in that cage over there. [Camera pans to another, larger empty cage] Oh, it's gone too.

Terry:
Just out of curiousity, what was in that [points to even larger empty cage with bent bars] cage?

Peter:
You don't want to know [Grabs a battle axe].

Peter:
It's a comic book shop. Everything about it is supposed to be fun. I used to brush my teeth with Tang.

Terry:
Why would you brush your teeth with Tang?

Peter:
[Matter of factly] Because I wanted the smile of an astronaut. Uch... Ever since you came back it's been all 'money, money, bitches and honey'.

Terry:
OK, that is a terrific impression of me. But it's not true.

Peter:
Oh yeah? You're all about the bottom line! You're Mr. "Buy High, Sell Low".

Terry:
You see? That is exactly why you're not allowed near the money.

Peter:
Then I'll just get away from you and your precious "The Money". [Jumps off counter] Ahh, dammit, why'd I put all the rat-traps back here?

Rayna:
Two break-ins in one week, Boyd? Tonight I need you to stake-out the mall.

Boyd:
Stake out? Tonight's no good. I've already made plans. Staying up all night in my van, eating junk food, monitoring the comings and goings of the mall...

Rayna:
That's what a stake-out is.

Boyd:
Well... Things just got interesting.