Young Sheldon, Season 3

[Sheldon and Mary both think the other might have some mental health issues]

Sheldon Cooper:
You think *I* have mental problems?

Mary Cooper:
Well, not "problems". I'm just worried about your future. And when I see you moving sub-atomic particles around in the air, that makes me...

Sheldon Cooper:
Sub-atomic particles are real! You talk to an invisible man in the sky who grants wishes. If anyone's mental, it's you!

Dr. Linkletter:
[Last line, after Sheldon left his class] No wonder Sturgis went crazy.

Missy Cooper:
Is Sheldon going to jail?

Mary Cooper:
No!

Missy Cooper:
Damn it.

Sheldon Cooper:
Good news. I found a way to take a break from science.

Mary Cooper:
That's great. What is it?

Sheldon Cooper:
A fantasy book series called "The Lord of the Rings".

Mary Cooper:
It's got "the Lord" in it. That's something.

Mary:
Okay. Dr. Sturgis will be joining us for dinner.

Sheldon:
Hot darn.

Missy:
That guy's back.

Georgie:
I thought he was in the nuthouse.

Mary:
We do not call it that!

Georgie:
That's what dad calls it.

Mary:
And that's why I made him sit. We need to make sure that Dr. Sturgis feels comfortable.

George:
How are we supposed to do that?

Mary:
For starters, do not bring up his time in the hospital.

Sheldon Cooper:
[encouraging Missy] Do good baseball.

Georgie Cooper:
[Repeated line, unenthusiastically] Uh-huh.

Dale:
You wanna switch to light beer?

George Cooper Sr:
Hey, I may have boobs, but I'm still a man.

Sheldon:
They don't seem happy about it.

Adult Sheldon:
Some mail brought pain.

Adult Sheldon:
And one time, Missy, you got something.

Adult Sheldon:
However, in an unrelated incident, he crashed his bike into some garbage cans. Luckily, he landed on his recently acquired athletic cup.That was a wise purchase.

Jeff:
Sometimes love is about the little things.

Picard:
Captain's log, stardate 44307.

Adult Sheldon:
My history with Paige brought up complicated feelings.

Adult Sheldon:
Things were simpler for my simple-minded sister.

Missy:
Strike!

Georgie:
Yeah!

Sheldon:
All right, Missy.

Adult Sheldon:
The Clean Air Act required all new cars to be equipped with catalytic converters to combat air pollution. The first state to do this was California, which led Texans to say things like - I hate California. And When will that place fall in the ocean? While not everyone was happy about it, six years later, one particular Texan saw an opportunity to get rich quick.

Mary:
So, you didn't do anything you regret when you were married?

George Cooper Sr.:
Oh, lots of stuff. Feel free to grab a shovel and go have some drinks with my dead husband.

Adult Sheldon:
In the early days of the Internet, you couldn't stream movies or summon Thai food to your doorstep. But... if you were interested in text-based news about upcoming physics lectures, it was a great time to be alive.

Sheldon:
All right, but if he calls me a baby, feel free to say, "Then I guess you needed a baby to fix your paper."

Mary:
I had to improvise.

George Cooper Sr.:
Watching life go by from the sidelines is kind of my thing.

Mary:
Call an ambulance!

Sheldon:
That explains why 911 hung up on me. I had no choice but to determine if any of these prospective home buyers would be suitable neighbors.

George Cooper Sr.:
Thank you.

Adult Sheldon:
You can see here, Sheldon has a baby tooth that never fell out.

Mary:
I got my crochet!

Adult Sheldon:
I was not alone in asserting my independence that day. This tiny slice of hot dog also seemed to yearn for freedom. But sometimes, freedom comes at a cost. In this case, a lowly disc of processed meat, would nearly tear my family apart.

Sheldon Cooper:
How could you not tell me that Caltech wants me to go to school there?

Mary Cooper:
Because you're not going, so it doesn't matter.

Sheldon Cooper:
I've put together a presentation detailing the reasons why I should be allowed to go to college, and I'd like you to watch it with an open mind.