Army Wives, Season 3

[After Roxy trips up a pickpocket who stole Viola's purse]

Viola:
Thanks for getting this back for me. It's the only purse that matches these shoes.

Roxy:
Thanks for giving me an excuse to beat the crap out of someone legally.

SGT Barranco:
Ma'am, I'm sorry they called you over. My Captain is out with a two-day pass and I think his CO might have misunderstood or misstated the seriousness of this--

Joan:
All security matters are serious, Sergeant. You responded accordingly.

SGT Barranco:
Ma'am I understand but it may not be classifiable as a security matter per se. Could be an action counter to protocol, or possibly an issue of quarters contraband, or a violation of post policy. Again, ma'am, I am sorry you were contacted.

Joan:
Well, I'm here now, so hup to.

SGT Barranco:
Yes ma'am.

[SGT Barranco opens the door and reveals Lucky the dog.]

Roxy:
How about if I cut my hair like this?

Trevor:
Like what?

Roxy:
Shorter. Like this. [folds hair up] That's sexier right?

Trevor:
[amused] It's not possible to have anymore sexiness in one woman. Can't be done.

Roxy:
Trevor, I'm serious.

Trevor:
Seriously? [Roxy nods] I like your hair the way it is.

Roxy:
Really?

Trevor:
Is this one of those trick questions like, "Do I look fat?"

Roxy:
Now I look fat?

Trevor:
No, no no. Ok, Rox, I love your hair the way it is and you do not look fat. Now I'm going to the live firing range where things are a lot safer. [leaves room to go to work]

[Roxy sits on the bed and continues looking at catalog]

Trevor:
[from outside] Don't cut your hair!

[Brigadier General Holden is walking out of his office with a cup of coffee when Lucky runs past him into his office while Joan and Private Sutherland catch up.]

Holden:
[Joan and Sutherland salute him] As you were. Colonel Burton, is that a dog in my office?

Joan:
Affirmative, sir.

Holden:
Why is there a dog in my office?

Joan:
Still working out the details, sir. [looks at PV2 Sutherland] Apparently-- [Lucky barks]

PV2 Sutherland:
Permission to pursue, sir.

Holden:
Permission granted.

Joan:
Apparently this animal has been living in barracks. Rumor has it that he was smuggled from down range.

Holden:
[surprised] From Iraq?

[Lucky runs into the foyer past the cleaners with PVT Sutherland behind him]

PV2 Sutherland:
Stop that dog!

Joan:
[PV2 Sutherland is chasing Lucky in the background] Yes, sir. By way of the 315th Airlift Wing. By way of quarantine in Germany. By way of Kuwait, sir. But that's just a rumor.

Holden:
A little below your pay grade isn't it, Joan. Dog catching?

Joan:
Comedy of errors, sir.

Holden:
Roger that. Go get 'em cowboy.

[...]

[Trevor is walking along when Lucky runs past him on the lawn.]

Joan:
LeBlanc!!! Stop that canine!!

Trevor:
[whistles to Lucky] Come here! [Lucky runs to him]

Joan:
[looks to PV2 Sutherland] Why didn't you think of that?

PV2 Sutherland:
I'm more of a cat person, ma'am.

Roland:
[sees Joan] Hey! Mommy's home.

Joan:
Only for a few minutes.

Roland:
But you do have time for lunch right?

Joan:
[playing with Sara Elizabeth] Hmm?

Roland:
Lunch.

Joan:
If it's quick. [takes out a file and reads]

Roland:
[takes food out of oven] It's not only quick, my dear. It's ready. [brings plate to Joan] First course, ginger shrimp Thai dumplings. You mince the shrimp-- [Joan takes a dumpling and puts it in her mouth without saying a word] ...and let it marinate for three hours in ginger sauce. Add a little fresh cilantro and sc-- [Joan takes another without looking up] ...scallions.

[Joan is still preoccupied]

Roland:
[awkwardly] Glad you like 'em. [looks at Joan writing in her file] A grocery list?

Joan:
[continues writing] Jostling my battle strategy.

Roland:
It's a good thing these war games start tomorrow. I like my wife back for at least a little while before she deploys.

[Joan is still preoccupied and takes out her bullet-ridden target from shooting practice earlier.]

Joan:
[sighs] I'm gonna mop the floor with Evan Connor. [turns and leaves]

Pamela:
There are a million ways to save money, like the shampoo your family uses. When you're halfway through, fill the bottle with water and stretch it out. Like I used to do with my dad's whiskey.

Roxy:
[after Trevor explains the war games to her and shows her his equipment] So you're gonna be gone for two days playing laser tag?

Trevor:
[salutes] Corporal LeBlanc reporting as ordered, Ma'am.

Joan:
[salutes back] At ease, Corporal. You take a public ass-kicking very well.

Trevor:
[laughs] Thank you ma'am. And you publicly kick-ass very well, if you don't mind me saying.

Joan:
Ah, sorry about that. I had to make it feel real for Major Dandridge to see.

Trevor:
Understood.

Joan:
Now that that's over with, I'll make sure that Colonel Connor's letter of reprimand is removed from your record.

Trevor:
[smiles] Thank you ma'am.

Joan:
And that, Corporal LeBlanc, should clear the way for you to start thinking about taking the steps to becoming "Sergeant LeBlanc".

Trevor:
Yes ma'am!

Major Proell:
In a war zone, sometimes a smallest thing could escalate out of control. That's what was happening. [...] Time and again he was getting us out of jams. He saved American lives and I could honestly say that I would lay down mine for his. But I didn't get that chance. We were on patrol in Mosul. We were talking about our kids, how they all loved the same movies. We were just two dads walking along, when a sniper's bullet blew the back of his head off. I would say that bullet was meant for me. But everyone knows insurgents would target an Iraqi translator before the American soldier. We got that sniper, but there was nothing we could do for Raizal. Translators like Raizal or this girl Haneen's father, they're as much a part of this war as any soldier, their family. But most people back here don't appreciate it. But by helping this girl you're sending a message back to Iraq, that we do understand, that we do care. And for that, God bless you.

Trevor:
It was amazing. Colonel Burton said I should start studying to make Sergeant.

Roxy:
Trevor! I am so proud of you.

Trevor:
There's a promotion board I gotta study for, a Warrior Leader Course, but it is so worth it. [notices the "edible underwear" on Roxy's dresser] What's this? [picks it up] It's a....[sniffs] It smells like fruit or something.

Roxy:
Apricot.

Trevor:
[sniffs] Yeah, that's it. It's apricot. [looks at it] What is it?

Roxy:
You mean, what was it.

Trevor:
Ok, what was it?

Roxy:
[pauses] It's edible underpants.

Trevor:
[speechless] What?

Roxy:
Yeah, but Lucky got to it before you came home.

Trevor:
[raises eyebrows] I see.

Joan:
Did you get the meat thermometer?

Roland:
No.

Joan:
Roland.

Roland:
But, I did win the door prize.

Joan:
Really? What was the door prize?

Roland:
I'm wearing it. [takes robe off and grins]

Joan:
[looks in amazement] Roland! [giggles]

[Roxy is vacuuming while Trevor is studying and the boys are lying around in the living room reading and studying]

Trevor:
Roxy! Knock it off!

Roxy:
What??

Trevor:
Roxy! Do you mind?

Finn:
We're studying.

Roxy:
Blame the dang dog. He's the one who dragged in all the dirt. [to Trevor] You want me to fix you a snack while you're studying for your finals?

Trevor:
This isn't high school, Rox. It's the promotion board. I gotta earn enough points to make Sergeant.

Roxy:
[picks up a tattered sock chewed off by Lucky] Thought you already had a whole heap of points.

Trevor:
Still gotta ace the board.

TJ:
What's the board?

Trevor:
A bunch of NCOs lock me in the room and grill me with questions, that's what. [looks at Roxy] I'd better know the answers.

Finn:
[gets up] I'll quiz you!

Roxy:
No, you won't.

Finn:
But we need to make Dad's brain Army strong.

Roxy:
We need to make your brain Army strong.

[...]

[Roxy finds a teacher's note in Finn's textbook]

Roxy:
How long have you had this?

Finn:
I dunno.

Roxy:
What is it about?

Finn:
I dunno.

Roxy:
[irritated] You don't know?

Finn:
I think Miss Hayley says I have a listening problem.

Roxy:
Yeah. Well, I think you have a remembering problem. Were you ever gonna give this to me?

Finn:
I dunno.

Trevor:
[to Finn] Hey, what you meant to say was "I'm sorry Mom. It will never happen again".

Finn:
[smiles at Roxy] What Dad said!

Roxy:
Get back to work.

PFC Brian Day:
Ten bucks says I'll put more rounds in center mass than you today!

Trevor:
I didn't know you had ten bucks to loose.

PFC Day:
Look who's talkin'. I'm not the one supporting a wife, two kids and dog, like some suckers. [looks at Trevor]

[At the Holdens' residence]

Claudia Joy:
Where are you going?

Denise:
No idea. Some place special, Frank said. He wants to continue our conversation from last night.

Claudia Joy:
What happened last night?

Denise:
I told him he was "old-fashioned".

Roxy:
Oops.

Denise:
Yeah. I meant it as a compliment.

Claudia Joy:
[cringes] Errr, no man likes to be called "old"-anything.

Pamela:
Men are such babies. He'll get over it. Just ask him to open a jar or something.

[...]

[Frank drives up in his new Harley. The ladies stare at him in bewilderment.]

Frank:
[takes off his helmet] Afternoon, ladies.

Denise:
[shocked] Frank???

Frank:
Hey, baby. Wanna go for a ride?

[Pamela, Claudia Joy and Roxy all look at Denise]

Denise:
You bet! [walks to Frank and gets on his bike]

[Pamela, Claudia Joy and Roxy look on in amazement and are speechless]

Roxy:
Is that really Frank??

Joan:
[reads from her fortune] "You will gain admiration from your pears."

Roland:
You mean "peers".

Joan:
[shows Roland the fortune] It says pears, like the fruit.

Roland:
[chuckles] I'm sure the apples and oranges would admire you too.

[Denise is helping Frank shaving]

Denise:
[mischievously] That'll be $8.50, soldier.

Frank:
Hang on now. Are my sideburns even?

Denise:
Uh....yeah, yeah. It's your head that's crooked.

Roxy:
I will be so glad when Trevor gets back from sergeant school.

Pamela:
Speaking of school, what's up with our little genius?

Roxy:
I'm in the application process to three private schools. It's a friggin' nightmare. "Tell us about your child". How am I supposed to answer that? Erm, he eats dog biscuits, sleeps in a Batman costume and has a higher IQ than both of his parents combined.

Roxy:
I thought talking about Delta was like double-secret-probation or something.

Michael:
I've been looking over the promotions list. How does "Lieutenant Colonel Sherwood" sound?

Frank:
Well, to be honest, sir, it sounds a little fancy for a mutt like me.

Michael:
Well, get used to it. It's being announced next week.

Frank:
Thank you, sir.

Michael:
You've earned it. As it happens, my G-3 is also on that list. He's headed to Fort Carson as a full-bird which leaves me with a problem and I was hoping you could help me solve.

Frank:
Sir?

Michael:
I'd like you to be my new G-3. I know how much you like being in the field but you're almost at the end of your third tour and my thinking is--

Frank:
I accept.

Michael:
[looks at Frank strangely] You don't even want to think it over?

Frank:
[without hesitation] No need, sir.

Michael:
Welcome aboard, Colonel.

Frank:
Thank you, sir.

[Joan is playing with Sara Elizabeth]

Joan:
[squeals] Roland! Did you hear that?!

Roland:
Hear what?

Joan:
She said Mama!

Roland:
It doesn't count unless she repeats it.

Joan:
[to Sara Elizabeth] Mama, mama. Come on, baby girl, say Mama!

Roland:
[amused] Ok...

Pamela:
[after finding her wallet] Ah! My wallet! Yes! I'm alive!

Pamela:
Is Joan with you?

Roland:
Um, no. Things are a bit frosty at the moment.

Pamela:
You talking about snow flurries or arctic tundra?

Lindsay:
[walks over] Hey, what are y'all celebrating?

PFC Brian Day:
[points to Trevor] This man just made Sergeant.

Lindsay:
[flirtatiously] Ooooh. Well, does the sergeant speak for himself? [reaches hand out] Hi, I'm Lindsay. What's your name?

Trevor:
[shakes hand] I'm Trevor.

Lindsay:
Tell me more, Sergeant Trevor, I'm very interested.

Roxy:
[cuts in while Trevor drinks from his bottle, smiles at Lindsay] He's very married! [jokingly to Trevor] You're in big trouble, Mister!

[Trevor laughs and follows her out]

PFC Day:
[to Lindsay] Hey, I'm not married.

Lindsay:
Oh yeah? What are you?

PFC Day:
Private First Class Brian Day, at your service.

Lindsay:
Private? [scoffs] As if!

[Sailors sitting behind PFC Day laugh]

Petty Officer:
Guess the lady knows dog meat when she smells it.

[A fight breaks out between PFC Day and the sailors. Trevor and his friends drag PFC Day out through the back door.]

Roland:
[in amazement] The Hump is officially banned!

Michael:
How do you do it?

Claudia Joy:
Do what?

Michael:
Organize everything and still manage to look so damn beautiful.

[Pamela catches Katie looking at herself in the mirror.]

Pamela:
Whatcha doin?

Katie:
I'm fat.

Pamela:
[surprised] What?

Katie:
I'm a fat cow!

Pamela:
Katie! Stop it! You are not!

Kate:
You have to say that. You're my mom!

Pamela:
What I see is a young lady who is healthy and strong and looks great just the way she is. Now get dressed and come downstairs for breakfast.

Katie:
I'm not hungry.

Pamela:
You have to eat. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Katie:
[retorts] If it's so important why do you just drink coffee in the morning?

Pamela:
[at a loss for words] ....because mommies are all grown up and they can do what they want.

Claudia Joy:
Michael, I am so sorry but what could we do? She's a nut!

Michael:
Yeah. Faulty intell. I thought she was just a doddering old lady. Turns out she's the merry widow.

Claudia Joy:
She needs armed escort, not us.

Michael:
Just get her to that ceremony tomorrow and she'll be out of our hairs. [turns to walk back to his office]

Claudia Joy:
[glumly] Easy for you to say.

Michael:
[smiles] That's why I'm the general.

Trevor:
[confronts PFC Day who is mopping the floor as punishment and angrily kicks his bucket] What's going on with you?

PFC Day:
Nothin'.

Trevor:
Nothing? You're pulling extra duty for missing formation. You've been insubordinate. And what about last night, huh? Letting those squids get underneath your skin? Throwing the first punch?! [sarcastically] Right. Nothing's going on.

PFC Day:
So what? I'm not some hotshot soldier like you.

Trevor:
Are you deliberately trying to sabotage your career? Because if you are, you're doing a hell of a job!

PFC Day:
What do you know about it, huh?! You don't know nothing about me!

Trevor:
So tell me.

PFC Day:
Forget it. Guys like you had it easy your whole life. You don't understand. You don't understand how-- [goes back to mopping the floor] Forget it.

[Trevor smirks as he turns to leave]

PFC Day:
Did I say something funny?!

Trevor:
Don't understand, huh? My mom died when I was three. The next day in between beers my father dropped me off with social workers. And I was in and out of foster homes till I was seven.

PFC Day:
I'd kick my old man's ass for that.

Trevor:
Yeah, I didn't have the chance. He's in prison doing life for murder.

Michael:
Your mother's gone only a few hours and our eating habits have gone completely to hell.

TJ:
How do you spell "Holden"?

Finn:
H-O-L-D-E-N.

TJ:
I was asking Mom. [turns to Roxy] Mom!

Roxy:
He's right.

Finn:
See?

TJ:
[mutters] Know-it-all.

Finn:
I played the clarinet. It sounds like a goose.

Finn:
Mom, are we poor?

Roxy:
[looks up in surprise] What? Where did you get that idea?

Finn:
Byron's got a trampoline, a swimming pool and a wooden fort bigger than the one at school

Roxy:
He does?

Finn:
He even has a computer and a TV in his room.

Roxy:
Wow. That's a lot of stuff

Finn:
Yeah.

Roxy:
But you know, stuff doesn't really make a person rich or poor.

Finn:
It doesn't?

Roxy:
Heck no. I mean, we may not have a lot of stuff but we've got plenty of things that other people don't have.

Finn:
Like Lucky?

Roxy:
[smiles] Yeah. Like Lucky. But also, like a roof over our heads and clothes on our back and food in our bellies. A lot of people don't even have that.

Finn:
They don't?

Roxy:
No. But more importantly we have each other, right? Like your dad and TJ and all of our friends.

Finn:
So we're not poor.

Roxy:
Do you feel poor?

Finn:
[thinks] No. But I wish we had a pool.

Roxy:
Yeah, well, me too. Come here. [gives Finn a hug]

[Denise is practicing CPR and resuscitation techniques on Frank, who is lying down on the floor pretending to be the victim]

Denise:
Frank!

Frank:
What?

Denise:
Behave! Today's my first ride-along and I'm out of practice.

Frank:
Aw, Dee, you can do this paramedic stuff in your sleep.

Denise:
I've got 500 hours to log and I want to be the best.

Frank:
500 hours? Sheesh! [sits up] Ok, you can save my life but I gotta warn ya, you're turning me on.

Denise:
[laughs] I suppose you're right. If I don't know it by now, this isn't gonna help.

Frank:
[mischievously] How about we practice a little mouth-to-mouth? [grabs Denise and they start kissing]

[Sara Elizabeth spat on Roland, who hands her to Roxy while he runs upstairs to get changed]

Roxy:
Roland, she's a little "ripe".

Roland:
Oh, um, diaper's in the bag. [points to the bag and runs off]

Roxy:
I didn't volunteer to change diapers!

Roland:
[off camera, out of earshot] Time to get back into practice!

Roxy:
[grumbles to herself] They always disappear. Always! [to Sara Elizabeth] Just so you know!

Roxy:
Do you ever think about having more kids?

Pamela:
Hell no. That ride is closed!

[...]

Pamela:
Ok, what's really going on?

Roxy:
What?

Pamela:
Well, all of that stuff. The swollen ankles, the misery, that's temporary. We both know that. So, what's really bothering you? Don't you want to have a kid with Trevor?

Roxy:
I don't know. [pauses] I guess, I don't want things to change, that's all.

Pamela:
What are you talking about?

Roxy:
Our life has been so good and, before Trevor, I was just so worried about TJ and Finn having a good home. And now they do.

Pamela:
And?

Roxy:
And, what happens if there's a new baby?

Pamela:
Oh! You think Trevor is going to favor the new baby over TJ and Finn?

Roxy:
[sighs] I don't know. I guess. Maybe. I don't know.

Pamela:
He loves those boys like their his own because they are. He adopted them. He didn't have to do that.

Roxy:
I know. I'm just being silly. My boys mean everything to me.

Pamela:
And to Trevor too. You know that he has enough love in his heart for three children. Just don't expect him to help with midnight feedings.

Roxy:
Um, ladies, I think the concert's starting.

Virginia:
Oh, yes, yes. We know.

Elsie:
[relieved] We escaped. Just in time. I swear, if it isn't singing children, it's puppies to pet, or bingo cards to fill in. No thank you.

Virginia:
[looks at Roxy and Pamela] But I'm sure your children are adorable.

Pamela:
[rolls eyes] Yeah. Most of the time.

Roxy:
[deadpan] Yeah. Today, I could've drop-kicked them across the parade ground.

Frank:
You want a beer?

Jeremy:
Absolutely.

Denise:
Frank, he's underaged

Frank:
Oh hell. If a man's old enough to go to war, he's old enough to have a beer in his own damn house.

Denise:
He seems fine...but how do you know?

Claudia Joy:
I can't imagine losing a friend during deployment. Michael says it's something you never get over.

Denise:
It's hard enough watching your husband go through it. It's harder watching your son.

Claudia Joy:
I don't know how they do it.

Denise:
Me neither. One day you're in a combat zone. The next day you're having burgers in your own backyard.

Jeremy:
Thought you were deploying with the 23rd Sustainment.

Trevor:
Uh..I was, but--

Chase:
He's decided to command a desk instead. [to Jeremy] How are you doing?

Jeremy:
Sergeant Moran, what happened to you?

Trevor:
He tripped up over his own ego. It's kinda hard to avoid.

Chase:
Had a little helicopter mishap. We all walked away.

Jeremy:
It's always good. [to Trevor] So, uh, you're working at a desk?

Trevor:
I'm a recruiter. Got my stripes, decided to stay stateside for a while. Encourage more studs like you to sign up.

Jeremy:
That makes sense.

Chase:
Don't think about hitting on that road, Sherwood. You wanna be where the action is, not pushing paper like this slacker. [looks at Trevor]

Trevor:
Watch it or I'll tip over your crutches. [jokingly threatens to push his crutches]

Chase:
You can try, buddy.

Trevor:
[cellphone rings] I gotta take this. We'll compare scars later again.

Michael:
[walks into kitchen] What can I do?

Claudia Joy:
Uh... [hands him a bread knife] Slice the bread.

Michael:
The one thing I can't ruin, right?

Claudia Joy:
No guarantees.

[Trevor is trying to teach Pamela and Roxy how to play golf.]

Pamela:
[takes a swing] Damn it! Either my boobs have gotten bigger or my arms have gotten shorter.

[Trevor and Roxy look on in bemusement]

Trevor:
Just keep your knees bent and your head down.

Pamela:
I'm trying!

[...]

Trevor:
All right. Let's see how you address the ball.

Roxy:
Ok. [clears throat] Hi, ball.

Trevor:
[laughs] I meant, let's see your stance.

Roxy:
I know what you meant. Geez, lighten up. You played high school golf, not the PGA Tour.

Trevor:
Babe, the game comes with its own language.

[Pamela is heard cussing loudly off camera.]

Roxy:
I can see that.

Trevor:
[checking Martinez's time] Welcome to the United States Army.

Martinez:
Yes!! [jumps and hugs Trevor] I can't believe it! You're my Jedi Master! Thank you Obi-Wan! The force is with me.

Trevor:
Lookin' for Tiger?

Denise:
You heard.

Trevor:
Yeah, I spent an hour with her at the driving range. I'm impressed you lasted 18 holes.

General Ludwig:
Well, Lenny should be here any minute.

Claudia Joy:
We're delighted your wife could join us.

Michael:
Absolutely.

Ludwig:
After my wife died I was sure I'd never get married again. I mean, who'd want to marry an old warhorse?

Denise:
You suffered a service, General.

Ludwig:
Then along came Lenny. Vibrant, beautiful. She understands what Army life is about.

Claudia Joy:
How'd you meet her?

Ludwig:
Six months ago in DC at a fundraiser. She loves helping other people.

Claudia Joy:
She sounds wonderful

Ludwig:
I think you're gonna like her. There she is. [calls out] Honey, over here!

[Camera shot reveals Lenore walking towards them]

Denise & Claudia Joy:
[in shock] Lenore???

Lenore:
Hello, dears. Small world, isn't it?

[Denise and Claudia Joy are speechless]

[Pamela, Roland Roxy are watching from a distance]

Roxy:
Lenore Baker??? Tell me I'm dreaming.

Pamela:
Yeah. You're havin' a nightmare! What is she doing here?

Roland:
Well, from the looks of it, she is General Ludwig's new wife.

Pamela:
[in disbelief] How did she get her hooks in a four-star??

Roxy:
Oh, she must be a dynamo in the sack.

Roland:
[makes a face] Oooo.

Roxy:
What, come on, what else could it be?

Roland:
Aw come on now, let's be fair. Lenore was a very supportive wife to General Baker.

Pamela:
Let's not be fair. She's a heartbeat-wannabe muzzled.

Roxy:
Yeah, and don't forget, she accused Claudia Joy of murder.

Pamela:
And spread a rumor that Michael was a racist.

Roxy:
And she didn't have very nice things to say about us either.

Pamela:
Yeah.

Roland:
I'm not saying the woman's perfect.

[Pamela glares at him]

Roxy:
[while eating cake] Would it be inappropriate for me to hurl this at Lenore's head?

Pamela:
Only if you miss.

Claudia Joy:
I don't think I've ever fooled around with a two-star general.

Michael:
[mischievously] Really? Have anyone in mind?

Claudia Joy:
You'll do.

[Trevor is sitting on the bed writing in his planner]

Roxy:
[glumly] I got a bit of good news. We don't have to worry about bar fights. We don't have enough customers.

Trevor:
[smiles] You're hysterical. [looks up at Roxy] Hey, what's wrong?

Roxy:
[shakes head] Nothing. I'm happy.

Trevor:
Rox, this is you happy?

Roxy:
And I wanna make you happy.

Trevor:
Come here. [pulls Roxy onto his lap] Baby, you always make me happy.

Roxy:
We don't have enough money.

Trevor:
Yeah we do. Ok, no we don't. But so what? We got each other, right? You, me and the boys.

Roxy:
And the dog.

Trevor:
And the dog.

Roxy:
And Finn's bugs.

Trevor:
[laughs] And Finn's bugs.

Roxy:
And the new baby.

[Trevor looks at her in shock]

Trevor:
[still in shock] Baby? [Roxy nods] We're having a baby?

Roxy:
[looks at Trevor] Are you happy?

Trevor:
[pauses] [jumps up in delight] Yes!!! Yes!!! This is me happy!

Roxy:
[tearfully] Because you said it's not the right time.

Trevor:
This is the greatest thing you've ever said to me since "I do".

Roxy:
Well, you haven't seen me with fat ankles.

Trevor:
Babe, I love fat ankles and I love you. [picks Roxy up and hugs her]