Castle, Season 5

Kate:
Made you a coffee.

Castle:
So it wasn't a dream?

Kate:
No. you definitely weren't dreaming.

Castle:
And you were right. I had no idea.

Kate:
So you liked it?

Castle:
Yeah.

Kate:
Even the part where...

Castle:
Especially that part. I love that.

Kate:
Good. Me too.

Martha:
Richard! I'm home!

Castle:
Oh my God! (He pushes them both off the bed. They jump up.) Oh God!

Kate:
You said she was at the Hamptons.

Castle:
She was in the Hamptons. She's not supposed to be here.

Martha:
Darling, we need to talk.

Castle:
Hide.

Kate:
What?

Castle:
Hide!

Kate:
Are you serious?

Castle:
Get in the closet.

Kate:
No, I'm not going in the closet!

Castle:
Get in the closet!

Kate:
Castle, I hear footsteps, he's coming. Hurry.

Castle:
Man, if we got murdered right now, I'd feel so ripped off.

Kate:
Yeah. Me too.

Castle:
At least... at least we had last night. We should have done that four years ago.

(Door opens to reveal Esposito)

Esposito:
Done what four years ago?

Kate:
You got an extra piece?

Esposito:
Yeah.

(Esposito hands her his backup.)

Castle:
Nice. What about for me?

Esposito:
Oh, you mean an extra extra piece?

Castle:
(Under his breath.) Wow.

Gates:
How do you explain the fact that Maddox, the killer we're searching for and the man who shot you last year, is the one lying there dead?

Castle:
Bad karma.

[Kate Beckett confronts Senator Bracken]

Beckett:
Whoever it is you think I am, whatever it is you think you know about me, you have no idea what I am capable of, or how far I will go. I am done being afraid. It's your turn now. [swings pistol at the Senator's face] That's going to leave a nasty scar. Every time you see it, think of me.

Smith:
You're alive.

Castle:
Join the club.

Castle:
Kate, tell me you didn't…

[Group sees Senator Bracken walk away alive]

Beckett:
We reached an understanding.

Esposito:
What about your mom?

Beckett:
I'll get justice for her, just not today. Till then, I'll get it for others.

Gates:
Your resignation has been accepted. The matter's settled.

Beckett:
Sir, I have the top case-closure rate in the precinct. And now that the man that shot me is dead, that particular case will no longer be an issue.

Gates:
Really? Because it seems to be the gift that keeps on giving. I'm told we put a Michael Smith under guard at the hospital. What was his role in this?

Beckett:
I don't know.

Gates:
I don't believe you. You're covering for someone and I know who it is. But I don't intend to dig up the past and tarnish Roy Montgomery's reputation. The fact is, I admire your loyalty. I hope you feel that for me someday.

Lanie:
Welcome back.

Kate:
Thank you.

Lanie:
What are you... you doing something different?

Kate:
No. why?

Lanie:
I don't know. Something's changed.

Lanie:
I figured out what's different. You're having sex.

Kate:
Excuse me?

Lanie:
Oh, don't try to deny it. There's a glow. I know that glow. So, who's the guy?

Castle:
Yeah, Beckett, who's the guy?

Kate:
Nobody that you would know, okay?

Castle:
Are you sure? I know a lot of guys.

Kate:
I'm sure.

Kate:
Isn't she the reporter that shows up to cover stories in her bikini?

Castle:
I don't... is... I didn't notice that.

Kate:
You wanna try it again? Make it sound a little more convincing?

Castle:
No. I'm good.

Kate:
Do you actually buy this whole 'just friends' thing?

Castle:
It's possible.

Kate:
Yeah, it's possible. But it's not probable.

Castle:
I don't know. You and I were just friends for four years.

Kate:
Except you were trying to sleep with me that whole time.

Castle:
What?

Kate:
Mmm hmm.

Castle:
Excuse me, it was you that was trying to sleep with me.

Kate:
What?

Castle:
Don't tell me you dress like that for Esposito.

Esposito:
What's for me?

Kate:
Nothing.

Castle:
(At the same time.) Don't worry about it.

Castle:
The direct tox monitor, of course.

Kate:
You have no idea what that is.

Castle:
No, not a clue.

Ryan:
Hey, guys. I found out who Mandy-

Esposito:
Yo. Are you…wearing makeup?

Ryan:
No.

Esposito:
Really? Because an hour ago, you and I both had black eyes, and now you don't.

Ryan:
No, this is not makeup. This is tinted moisturizer.

Esposito:
[Sarcastically] Oh.

Ryan:
Jenny just stopped by. She happened to have some in her purse and I figured since… [stutters a bit] Fine. Just judge all you want.

Castle:
Look, I tried everything to get away. I-I hid under the counter. I was hiding in the bathroom. At one point I tried to pull a Cape Fear up under the piano.

Beckett:
Yet when I walked in, she was straddling you on the couch

Castle:
Right? She's like the Terminator of sexpots.

Beckett:
What is that even supposed to mean? She just keeps on coming?

Castle:
What? That's… [grabs her arm and pulls her to the side] The only reason I went on the date in the first place was because you made a big deal about being single in public.

Beckett:
Castle, I have 12 missed phone calls from Chip the sportscaster because he thinks that I'm single, but that doesn't mean that I'm gonna let him mount me in a Speedo just to prove it.

Castle:
You didn't tell me he called.

Beckett:
Really? You're gonna play the jealousy card now?

Castle:
Okay, look, I'll make it up to you, all right? Whatever you want.

Beckett:
What I want is not to have this image of a bikini-clad woman stuffing her boobs in your face. So good luck with that.

Castle:
Don't I even get credit for figuring out who the killer is.

Beckett:
No!

Beckett:
Can we say that we will talk about dating other people, but we won't actually date other people?

Castle:
Yeah, I can…No, I can do that.

Beckett:
Okay, good. 'Cause I have a gun and you don't really have a choice.

Castle:
Clearly, I don't have a choice.

Castle:
My little girl is going to college.

Martha:
Seems like just yesterday you were checking under the bed every night promising her that monsters aren't real.

Castle:
I lied. Monsters are real. They're the boys in her freshman dorm.

Martha:
Oh, speaking of which, before Alexis leaves, don't you think you should have then, um... talk with her.

Castle:
You mean the sex talk? Mother, I covered that ages ago. I learned so much.

Martha:
I mean the you and Beckett sex talk.

Castle:
Mother, Beckett and I haven't...

Martha:
Save it. Richard. I knew the morning I walked in here and the poor girl was hiding in the closet.

Castle:
How did you know that?!

Martha:
Mothers know these things. But I don't think you want Alexis to walk in unannounced and find you and Beckett... out of the closet. And by out of the closet...

Castle:
I know, I know what you mean by out of the closet.

Martha:
So, don't you think you should tell her?

Alexis:
Tell me what?

Beckett:
Even on the worst days there's a possibility for joy.

Beckett:
Yeah, well, the key to Wendy's murder might be in that junk and we're about to lose it. There's no way I can get a warrant in time.

Castle:
May not have a warrant, but I got something better. Checkbook.

Manager:
Auctions are cash only, hotshot.

Castle:
Oh, no. What are we gonna do? Is 2 grand enough?

Beckett:
What are you doing with 2 grand in your pocket?

Castle:
I'm a best-selling author. Why wouldn't I have 2 grand in my pocket?

[Bringing in the stuff from the locker auction]

Castle:
You are so going to owe me for this.

Beckett:
Castle, I don't know if the department's gonna be able to reimburse you for all of this.

Castle:
[Whispering] That's not the owing I mean.

[Watching Gates with the collectable doll]

Esposito:
Who knew that Gates had a softer side? It's, um…

Ryan:
Creepy. Very, very creepy

[To Angelica when they learned who the killer is]

Castle:
I've worked a lot of murder cases, waiting patiently for the day I could unequivocally exclaim… [Turns around and points to Kirby] "The butler did it!"

[After seeing a bloodied man stumble into the pool.]

Castle:
Call 911

Beckett:
[Scowling at him] You think?

[Trying to find out who Beckett's boyfriend is.]

Ryan:
We're thinking the most likely scenario is that it was the last guy that she was with.

Esposito:
Doctor Joshua Davidson.

Ryan:
Mm-hm.

Esposito:
It's him, isn't it?

Lanie:
Okay, I get that you don't have a life, Javi, but you're married, Kevin, so what's your excuse?

Ryan:
I-

Lanie:
Whoever Beckett's boyfriend is, is none of your business.

Esposito:
Come on, Lanie. You must know who it is. She went back to Josh, didn't she?

Lanie:
Is this how you interrogate people? 'Cause you ain't doing nothing but pissing me off.

[Over the phone]

Ryan:
Hey, Castle. Yeah, I'm gonna put you on speakerphone so you can weigh in on this.

Castle:
Weigh in on what?

Esposito:
Well, we're in the morgue with Lanie trying to figure out who Beckett's boyfriend is.

Lanie:
I have nothing to do with this nonsense. [walks away]

Castle:
Yeah, until you're bagging their mangled bodies when Beckett finds out.

[Beckett smiles]

Esposito:
Pfft! Like we're afraid of Beckett. [Chuckles]

Ryan:
Besides, how's she gonna find out?

[Castle quickly snatches the phone away before an infuriated Beckett can grab it]

Beckett:
Why are you even helping them?

Castle:
Oh, come on. The good news is, they're completely fooled about us.

Beckett:
Yeah, well, I don't understand why they even care.

Castle:
Ah, why do people care about Brangelina?

Beckett:
Oh, so we're Brangelina now?

Castle:
No. No, no, we're Rick-ate. No, we're Kat-ick.

Beckett:
Mmm…

Castle:
Cas-kett. Ooh, that's good! 'Cause of the whole murder thing. Caskett?

Beckett:
Mm-hm

Castle:
Jewelry. I never would've thought of that.

Beckett:
I guess I'll have to remind you when my birthday's coming up.

Castle:
Why, Detective Beckett, was that a hint you just dropped?

Beckett:
Why, Mr. Castle, I do believe it was.

Castle:
Shameless.

Beckett:
They still haven't found the body.

Castle:
They won't. He's not dead.

Beckett:
Castle, what are you saying?

Castle:
This was never about me. This was about him. Those initials in her datebook, he's not that careless. He wanted us to find that place. He wanted us on this bridge. Tessa's murder, the frame up, all of it was to get us here so we could help him do what he couldn't do for himself. Disappear, so he can start killing again.

Beckett:
You think he planned this?

Castle:
How does a wanted man stop being wanted? [Thumbs the bridge] It has to be public, and it has to be final.

Beckett:
Do you know how crazy that sounds?

Castle:
No one's gonna be looking for him anymore.

Beckett:
You shot him. He's dead. It's over. [Walks away]

Castle:
For now.

Castle:
I am a fan of good sci-fi. Star Trek. Battlestar. That Joss Whedon show.

Castle:
Perlmutter. Good to see you.

Perlmutter:
Ah. If only the feeling were mutual.

Beckett:
Perlmutter.

Perlmutter:
Detective Beckett.

Castle:
Perlmutter.

Perlmutter:
And non-Detective Castle.

[Castle is talking to Beckett about the investigation of a murder at a sci-fi convention, and they are at that convention]

Castle:
She was betrayed by someone she trusted. Maybe that was Captain Max--

[Suddenly sees Alexis and two friends just walked by in very skimpy but futuristic outfits]

Castle:
OH MY GOD! ALEXIS???

Alexis:
[shocked to see him as well] Dad? What are you doing here?

Castle:
What are you doing here...dressed like that?

Alexis:
We're Havakura...it's a tribe of female assassins who--

Castle:
--don't wear clothes??

Alexis:
You're overreacting...and you're embarrassing me.

Castle:
I'm embarrassing you? I'm the one who's dressed! [Takes off his jacket, grabs Alexis and tries to put it on her]

Alexis:
Dad!

[Beckett grabs his arm and pulls him away; Alexis and her friends leave]

Beckett:
Castle, come on. Let's go.

Castle:
Are you kidding me? Do you see what she's wearing?

Beckett:
Yeah. It's not that bad!

Castle:
"Not that bad"? How am I going to un-see that?

Beckett:
I've worn worse.

Beckett:
So I was a Nebula 9 fan. Big deal.

Castle:
Oh, you were beyond a fan. You dressed up in costume. You.

Beckett:
Okay, yes. I was a sci-fi loving, costume-wearing geek. And you know what? Not ashamed of it or of Nebula 9. Despite what you think, it was an awesome show.

Castle:
Hmm. I'll tell you what. I'll forgive you your terrible taste if you try on that Nebula 9 costume for me.

Beckett:
In your dreams.

Castle:
Look at my life. My dreams come true.

[After hearing the description of the wound of the victim]

Beckett:
Are you saying-?

Castle:
She was killed by a phaser?!

Perlmutter:
Well, as much as it pains me, Mr. Castle is…largely correct. She was killed by a high-intensity laser beam.

Castle:
A real sci-fi murder at a sci-fi convention. This keeps getting better.

Castle:
Well, let's go back to the e-mails of the crazed Nebula 9 fans. And when I say 'crazed fans," I'm not referring to you. You are a megafan.

Beckett:
Nice one. Coming from the guy with the life-sized Boba Fett in his bathroom.

Castle:
Point taken.

[After shooting the laser gun which actually fires]

Castle:
'Zap,' said the lady. You are so busted.

[Coming out of the elevator, meeting Beckett and Esposito]

Castle:
Hey, tell me, guys, do you think my hair is thinning? [Showing his head]

Beckett:
You're not losing your hair, Castle!

Castle:
OK, so if I wake up bald tomorrow, you'd still be attracted to me?

Beckett:
[looking puzzled]

Castle:
Oh my god, you wouldn't!

Beckett:
I didn't say that!

Castle:
No, but you were thinking it! I can see it in your...

Esposito:
[Looking at Castle's head] With that pumpkin head? Dude...

Beckett:
Stephanie Frye, you're under arrest for the murder of Anabelle Collins.

Castle:
Oh, oh, oh, oh. [To Gabriel] May I?

[Gabriel nods and both men fold their arms]

Castle:
And may fortune guide your journey.

Ryan:
We found blood-stained overalls in his van. We sent them to be tested to see if they match the blood from our vic.

Esposito:
Oh, they match. Trust me, bro. You don't have to worry about this creep hurting anyone ever again. [To the camera] That's a gift, from me to you. You're welcome, America

Ryan:
Well, looks like our stalker was telling the truth. Prelim shows that the blood on his overalls was his. Sorry, partner.

Esposito:
Huh. Well, at least grabbing the guy up wasn't a total bust.

Ryan:
I don't know. Seems to be the definition of a total bust.

Castle:
This all points to one thing.

Ryan:
Drugs.

Castle:
Drugs… Drugs.

Beckett:
That's an interesting theory, but that's pure speculation.

Castle:
Actually, it's not. Pure speculation would be Swan purchasing thermonuclear technology to have a scientist make him an amplifier that went all the way to 12. This, musicians buying drugs… [Into the camera]…that's just Monday morning's crossword.

Esposito:
Element of surprise is key. See, I can be circumspect. Folks would be lost without me. [Walks toward a door]

Castle:
[Laughing into the camera] He went the wrong way.

Castle:
You were writing songs for him?

Sam Spear:
Yeah. Here, look. [Grabs the song paper and hands it to Esposito] I already started. I got pretty far on that one.

Esposito:
Let me see that. [Looking it over] I do like the vocal line on this.

Castle:
You read music?

Esposito:
What, you think 'cause I'm a cop, I can't sing?

Castle:
No, I think you can't sing because I've heard you sing.

Esposito:
That karaoke machine was busted. I'm gonna sing for y'all later

Castle:
So John Campbell was in town…with a few days to kill. [Grinning at the camera] See what I did there? That was good. Use that. Not the part where I said, 'See what I did there.' Cut that out. Do a hard fade to black. [Snaps fingers] Musical sting.

[As Beckett leads the cameraman]

Beckett:
Look, I know I'm not the easiest person on the planet to get to know, but you guys have been patient, and I've got something to show you. It's a secret. Actually, Castle doesn't even know about it. It's this place that I love to go to. And once you see it, I think you guys will understand me a whole lot better. [Opens a door] Go ahead. All the way to the back.

[Camera walks into a janitor room and turns about to see Beckett give a raspberry and then shut the door]

Cameraman:
Hey! Hey!

Castle:
I'm just saying, there have been worse dinners.

Beckett:
Like what?

Castle:
Well, the dining scene from Alien comes to mind.

Beckett:
Honestly, a creature bursting out of my dad's chest might have lightened the mood.

Castle:
Well, this looks like the work of a pro.

Beckett:
Someone had a priest assassinated? It's like a Vatican conspiracy. Ah. It's The Da Vinci Code.

Ryan:
Nun walks into a precinct... It's like the beginnings of a bad joke. [Begins fixing his tie]

Esposito:
You wanna borrow a comb of something?

Ryan:
Shut up.

Esposito:
You know what this reminds me of? Watching one of those body-switching movies where the guy looks like a grown man, but he's actually 12.

Ryan:
Hey! Let me tell you something. Catholic school is like combat. Unless you've been there, you don't know.

Esposito:
Uh, I have, been there, in combat. And it's way worse than some old lady.

Martha:
Captain Gates? Captain Gates.

Gates:
What are you two doing down here?

Martha:
Well, after I got a call from Detective Esposito, I became very concerned, so I checked in with-

Jim:
I can't reach Katie. What's the situation?

Gates:
There's no cause for alarm. It's just that we're having trouble pinpointing their precise location-

Martha:
Oh, please stop. You are a terrible actress. There is no way that anyone would've called me if they weren't really worried, and I wanna know what is going on here.

Gates:
Okay. They went to interview a witness and we lost contact. But we're doing our best to find them. So I suggest you both go home and I'll call you the second I know more.

Martha:
I am not leaving until I know what has happened to our children.

Jim:
Neither am I.

Martha:
All right, where is that fancy coffee machine that Richard bought for the precinct? Over there?

Gates:
The break room.

[The two walk away and Ryan approaches Gates]

Gates:
[Whispering] I don't want to have to tell those two that I lost their kids. Tell me you have something on Dolan.

Castle:
I also found a box of tools and a broken CB radio. But I think I can get it to work.

Leo:
Great. You have an engineering degree or electronics experience?

Castle:
No. But I've seen every episode of MacGyver.

Leo:
[To Beckett] Nervous?

Beckett:
No. I'm, uh, I'm just trying to send a message. They can hear static when I press the button, so I thought I'd send an SOS, but...

Leo:
It's okay to be worried.

Beckett:
[About Castle] He's gonna be fine. He's, um, he's smart and he's resourceful, so...

Leo:
Larger than life, from another world.

Beckett:
How did you...

Leo:
Please, we're in a basement. Sound carries, I heard.

Beckett:
That was a personal conversation.

Leo:
About how different you two are, and that worries you, right?

Beckett:
I don't want to have this discussion right now.

Leo:
And those differences that are so charming now, they may end up just pulling you apart.

Beckett:
Who are you, Dr. Phil?

Leo:
No, Just a guy that may die tonight realizing that life's short. Trust me. Living your life for now makes a lot more sense than worrying about the future.

Ryan:
[His wife Jenny wants to have kids] But I come to work, I watch the news every day - it seems like the world's falling apart. How am I supposed to bring a kid into that?

Esposito:
The world's always falling apart, bro. Since the beginning of time. But having kids, making a family, that's what keeps it together.

Ryan:
Hey, so I heard from Air Traffic Control, but you're not gonna like the news. They have no record of anyone flying over the park during the time our guy hit the ground.

Beckett:
How is that even possible?

Castle:
Santa had his sleigh in stealth mode

Gates:
My mother-in-law is a licensed pilot, as she keeps reminding me. Part of a larger effort to make me feel inferior. I'm sorry. Did I just say that out loud?

Ryan:
Sounds like she's staying with you, Captain?

Gates:
One day soon, your in-laws will visit, too. And when they do, think hotel. [walks away] Oh, Lord, I hate the holidays.

Castle:
[Whispering] Yet another quality she has in common with the Grinch

Esposito:
…he didn't go all Santa for the money. Back in the day, he used to pull down a half a mil a year. As Santa, he made a tenth of that.

Ryan:
You can make that much as a Santa? Maybe I should switch jobs, huh?

Esposito:
What? Gain 200 pounds and have a bunch of rug rats sitting on you lap with dirty diapers?

Ryan:
[With a disgusted face] Yeah, thanks for the visual.

Beckett:
He might have been robbed.

Castle:
Uh, robbed and then launched into space?

Beckett:
And how is that less plausible than your sleigh?

Castle:
I think you mean less "clausible."

Gates:
[Looking down at her ringing phone] Oh. Speaking of people having their homes stolen.

Beckett:
Is that your mother-in-law again, sir?

Gates:
Detective, if you happen to receive a report of a homicide tonight at my address, do me a favor. Ignore it.

Beckett:
[Laughs] Yes, sir.

Beckett:
Good Morning, Lanie.

Lanie:
Not from the way you sound. What's wrong.

Beckett:
Men are clueless.

Lanie:
Men… or just Castle?

[Both women glare over at Castle]

Beckett:
Did she have a grievance with Michelle?

Ryan:
Oh, I'd say so. The morning of Michelle's murder, a judge came down with a ruling in Samantha's contentious divorce case. She lost big.

Castle:
How big is big?

Ryan:
Uh, Upper East Side apartment big, cars and boats big, half of her multi-million dollar net worth big.

Castle:
That's big.

[After Beckett accepts Meredith's offer for dinner between the two of them]

Castle:
Is this a bad as it seems?

Esposito:
No, it's much worse. Much, much worse.

Castle:
No, okay, hang on. Let's take a step back from this, let's just think about it. Just dinner.

Ryan:
Just dinner between your ex-wife and your new girlfriend. That's deadly. Castle, you have two worlds.

Esposito:
Two.

Ryan:
Right now, they're both coming together.

Esposito:
Uh, oh.

Ryan:
What happens when worlds collide?

Esposito:
Boom

Castle:
Okay, guys, you are taking this a little too far.

[Castle turns to leave, but Esposito grabs his arm]

Esposito:
Castle. Meredith knows things about you.

Castle:
So?

Esposito:
So…

Ryan:
So…

Esposito:
So is there anything Meredith knows that you don't want Beckett to know?

[Castle looks away briefly before turning back in realization]

Esposito:
Boom

Ryan:
Two worlds colliding.

[Castle hurries out of the room]

Castle:
Here's something that doesn't add up. Tyrese Wilton's phone. Why would Shane tell Joey to steal a phone worth a couple hundred bucks? Especially when there had to be so much bling at that party?

Esposito:
Dude, nobody says "bling" anymore. Try "shine."

[Esposito confronts Shane in the bar]

Shane:
You keep showin' up here like this, my boys are gonna think you're sweet on me.

Esposito:
Not anymore, they won't. You are walking on grand larceny and accessory after the fact. Wow. Now that kind of luck does not last long.

Shane:
I guess I gotta go play the Powerball tonight then.

[Esposito pulls up two guns and places them on the table in front of him]

Esposito:
This is my gun. And this one will be yours. You ever go near Joey, or any other kid ever again, the story's gonna go like this. 'You pulled that piece on me. Now, I had to defend myself, so, I killed you'. You understand me? Or should we play out that story… [Pushes one of the guns toward Shane] …right here, right now?

Shane:
[Sighs] Ah. I hear you.

Esposito:
Good.

Esposito:
[Handing Joey a card] Here. If you need anything, day or night, call me at that number.

Joey:
Okay. You're all right. For a cop.

Esposito:
I know. Now get out of my car

Esposito:
Yo. How's the in-breast-igation going?

Ryan:
And that's why you're still single.

Ryan:
I, uh, never thought I'd say this after graduating the sixth grade, but our bra research is in!

[Examining the murder weapon, a bra]

Lanie:
This is a 36-D Sultura.

Beckett:
Oh, that's high-end.

Lanie:
Definitely. One of these could run you $200, $250.

Esposito:
Two hundred and fifty dollars for a bra?

Lanie:
Oh, but its okay to spend that on a pair of sneakers, right?

Esposito:
A pair of sneakers is practical, okay? They gotta support your, um..

Castle:
[Shaking his head] Eject.

Esposito:
Okay.

[Speaking privately]

Bracken:
Well. Hard to miss the irony of this situation.

Beckett:
[In monotone] Senator Bracken, do you have any enemies? Is there anyone that you can think of that would like to kill you?

Bracken:
I get threatening letters and e-mails all the time, comes with the office. My chief of staff keeps a file.

Beckett:
Anyone with a legitimate claim?

Bracken:
A man doesn't get to my position with upsetting people along the way. Most of them aren't crazy enough to wanna try to kill me. Present company excluded.

Beckett:
[Sitting down] You know, Senator, I'm not the one that you should be worried about right now.

Bracken:
It's just us here, Detective. A shooter on the loose, me in the crosshairs? Must be a dream come true for you.

Beckett:
In my dreams, I'm the one that gets to pull the trigger. But you know what? If you're not comfortable with me leading this investigation, you're welcome to step outside and tell everyone why.

[Bracken settles back]

Beckett:
Well, then I guess we're stuck with each other. So, then let me make one thing clear. This man killed Melanie Rogers, and when someone commits murder, whoever he is, Senator, I will bring him to justice. No matter how long it takes.

Castle:
Considering what he's capable of, you would think Bracken would have more formidable enemies.

Beckett:
Oh, obviously you never saw the letter that I sent him.

Castle:
I did, actually. I like the way you dotted the "I" on "kill" was a little heart. It was a nice touch.

Beckett:
Well, I was trying to give it a personal feel.

Castle:
Well done.

Castle:
Any reason why he'd [Noah] suddenly want you dead?

Bracken:
I assume because someone paid him a great deal of money.

Castle:
You don't seemed shocked.

Bracken:
There's another world out the, Mr. Castle, one that most people don't see. Run by money, influence, power. And the people in it will do anything they can to stay on top. But I assume that you already know that.

Castle:
I wouldn't have done it, you know, what she did. I'd stood and watch.

[After Captain Gates held a small excursus about "Wives Of Wall Street"]

Castle:
You're a fan of "Wives Of Wall Street"?

Gates:
Oh yes, the best show on TV, why?

Castle:
I don't ... I just assumed that, uh, a woman like you would prefer more ... sophisticated fare.

Gates:
[Indignantly] Excuse me, what did you just say?

Castle:
[Beckett is talking to Stevens, with no luck] I'd like a minute with him. [Beckett leaves the room]

Douglas Stevens:
[Castle closes and locks the door to the room] I just said I don't wanna talk, so you can't question me. I have rights. I'm not going to say anything without a lawyer.

Castle:
I'm not a cop

Douglas Stevens:
Then who are you?

Castle:
You remember the girl with the red hair? I'm her father. Please know, I will do whatever it takes to get her back. The police outside are my friends... my daughters' friends too. So it's just you and me.

Douglas Stevens:
If you touch me I'll press charges...

Castle:
I don't care. Where are they?

Douglas Stevens:
I'm just a driver. I, I don't know anything...

Castle:
You know Henson ditched the van for the black Yukon. So where did he go? Where did he take the girls? [Stevens refuses to answer] I won't ask you again, where did he take the girls? [when Stevens still refuses to answer, Castle closes his eyes for a few seconds, then slowly opens them]

Douglas Stevens:
[Beckett standing watch, hears Stevens' screams] *Stop!* [continues screaming]

[Over the phone]

Castle:
Have them trace every IP address that accessed that site after 2:36 p.m.

Beckett:
Which might take time, depending on-

Castle:
What if she doesn't have time?

Beckett:
Castle, listen to me-

Castle:
Don't. Don't promise me you'll find her unless you can do it, because I would never forgive you…any more than I'd ever forgive myself.

Beckett:
Tell me what happened with Douglas Stevens.

Castle:
[gravely] I appealed to his humanity

Beckett:
I didn't think you had that side to you.

Castle:
When it comes to the people I love, I do.

Hunt:
What do you say kid? You been playing cop for years. You ready to play spy?

Esposito:
Paris? What the hell is he doing in Paris?

Beckett:
He thinks he can find her.

Ryan:
What, so he's Liam Neeson now?

Esposito:
Liam Neeson? The dude's barely Ashley Judd.

Beckett:
Ms. Degarmo, I'm gonna ask you again. What else can you tell me about Roger Henson's murder?

Degarmo:
I don't have to tell you nothing. I know my rights. You can't keep me here.

Beckett:
He's dead. Tortured. I'm just trying to find the people that did it to him.

Degarmo:
Listen, bitch. I don't talk to cops. Now go get me my lawyer, and then go to hell

[Beckett kicks the chair, sending Degarmo to the floor]

Beckett:
[Rising from her seat, enraged] Do you have any idea what this is all about?! You think I'm some beat cop busting you on possession charges?! My partner's daughter is missing, and you…! [throws the photos of Henson at Degarmo] …are in my way. Now, you don't talk to cops? I'm not a cop today, honey.

[After being rescued]

Castle:
[after his phone gets shot to pieces]What are you doing?! That was a 200 dollar phone!

Hunt:
That's how they track you. Now get in the car.

Castle:
Hey, I'm not getting in the car!

Hunt:
Don't be an idiot, I'm the good guy.

Castle:
Oh, you expect me to trust you.

Hunt:
Well, you're alive, aren't you? What are you gonna do; stay out here in the woods with all the dead guys?

Castle:
Fine. I'll get in the car.

Hunt:
Given that you're feeling so bad about your 200-buck phone, you might wanna pick up that 3 million dollar briefcase ...take it with you.

Castle:
At least tell me your name.

Hunt:
Hunt. Jackson Hunt.

Castle:
Sounds made up.

Hunt:
[grinning] It is.

Castle:
You're telling me you're a spy?

Hunt:
"Intelligence asset" is the term.

Castle:
My dad's a spy.

[As Castle and Beckett walk into the autopsy room]

Perlmutter:
Ah, Detective Beckett, and Defective Castle

Castle:
Okay, does anyone have a better solution? Because we need one. If not for me, at least for Beckett.

Beckett:
Castle, that's so sweet. You want me to outlive you?

Castle:
Of course. Who else is gonna tell my tale of sacrifice and selflessness?

Beckett:
Okay, so both of our victims stayed at that inn at the same time. So, maybe they were having an affair.

Ryan:
Well, in 2008, Val would've been 24. Jason would've been 66. An affair would've been-

Castle:
Gross.

Ryan:
I was gonna say unlikely.

Esposito:
Deep cover? I can't believe he didn't tell me.

Beckett:
Espo, he didn't even tell Jenny.

Esposito:
Yeah, but I'm his best friend. She's just the wife.

Beckett:
Thus proving why there is no Mrs. Esposito

Esposito:
Hey. It's hard to find a woman for this much man.

[After Ryan reveals his identity to Bobby S and informs him that his partner heard where they were located]

Ryan:
Why don't we meet my partner, huh? You Javi, where you at?!

[After a long moment, Esposito emerges from the back, cocking a shotgun]

Esposito:
Right here, bro.

[Bobby S and his men begin to draw their guns]

Ryan:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, he is former Special Forces. You do not wanna draw on him. Wanna meet the rest of my crew? Hey, Beckett!

[Emerging from the other end, weapon drawn]

Beckett:
You called, Ryan?

Ryan:
Don't let the looks fool you, boys. You don't want to mess with her either. Castle!

[Castle comes up behind Beckett, unarmed]

Castle:
Seriously? I didn't… I didn't bring my vest.

[Interrogation room]

Ryan:
Maggie. You know, I pegged you for a lot of things. Never a killer.

Maggie:
Yeah, I pegged you for a lot of things, but never a narc.

Ryan:
Actually, see, I'm a homicide detective. Which is why I know that you killed Jimmy the baker.

Maggie:
Jimmy the who?

Beckett:
Oh, God. Are we actually gonna play this game? It's late, I'm tired. Officers went through your house and they found your gun.

[Returning to his home]

Ryan:
Sorry, Jenny. I know it wasn't fair to you.

Jenny:
Just tell me the truth. Is this part of your life, this undercover part, over?

Ryan:
Yeah, it is now.

Jenny:
Good, because I need to know that you're gonna be here. And I need to know that I can depend on you. Especially after the test result we got back from the fertility doctor.

Ryan:
Oh, no. Bad news?

Jenny:
Yeah. We took all those damn tests for nothing. [Ryan begins to look crestfallen] I'm already pregnant.

Ryan:
You're pregnant. [laughs] You're pregnant! Uh… Let's pop some champagne.

Jenny:
Yeah.

Ryan:
No, no, we can't pop any champagne.

Jenny:
No, we can't.

Ryan:
Do you know why?

Jenny:
[simultaneously] I'm pregnant!

Ryan:
[simultaneously] Because you're pregnant!

[The two kiss]

Ryan:
[To Beckett] Staring at the phone won't make it ring. I learned that in junior high.

After revealing the whole scene across the street was staged

Castle:
It was all fake? Nothing was real - you let me think I was crazy, you let me think you were gonna die!

Beckett:
But Castle, you were so bored over the past couple of weeks, stuck at home with no case to solve, and I saw that this apartment was for rent, and I thought that...

Martha:
Richard...

Castle:
No ... no ... this is ... without a doubt ... the greatest birthday gift of my life!

Esposito:
I may have an explanation for those facial wounds. Turns out our victim worked at a retirement home called Haven House.

Castle:
Vicious, bloodthirsty old folks? Is that your theory?

Esposito:
This home is not for people, Castle. It's a primate sanctuary, mostly for apes and chimpanzees and monkeys who have retired from the movie business.

Ryan:
I always wanted a monkey when I was a kid. Big Curious George fan.

Castle:
Yeah, wait till George grows up. An adult chimpanzee can reach 200 pounds, tear off a man's face, hands and naughty bits.

Esposito:
Gentlemen! I hate to rain on your parade.

Castle:
Do you?

Esposito:
No.

Beckett:
Castle. Castle, please. No more Wookie calls.

Castle:
It's not Wookiee. I'm not doing Wookiee. I can't do Wookie. Alexis does a really cute Wookie.

Beckett:
You know, Castle, there's a bit of poetic justice in this.

Castle:
Poetic justice, how?

Beckett:
Well, I mean, think about it. You set a trap for Alexis and now someone or something, has set one for you.

Kurt:
A few months ago, I came out of hiding to find Anne. I told her I was innocent, that I didn't kill Justine and I begged her to look into the case. And she agreed to because she believed me.

Beckett:
Yeah, well, I'm a little more skeptical.

Castle:
I can vouch for that.

[When Alexis explains what happened to her allowance money]

Castle:
Well, why didn't you just come to me?

Alexis:
Because I didn't want the speech.

Castle:
Well, I don't…What speech?

Alexis:
That people like us need to be careful with the kind of money we have. People might try to take advantage.

Castle:
Oh, that speech. Yeah.

[As Eric is leaving on the elevator]

Eric:
You know, that's an extraordinary woman you have there.

Castle:
I know.

Eric:
Do you?

Castle:
We don't know that you're standing on a bomb. It could be nothing.

Beckett:
Didn't feel like nothing. Something gave way under my feet. Felt like a trigger plate.

Castle:
Could be wonky floorboard.

Beckett:
With a metallic click?

Castle:
Loose nail. That's how floorboards get wonky.

Castle:
What is we replaced Beckett with something of equal weight, you know? Just the old Indiana Jones bag-of-sand-golden-idol trick.

Beckett:
Remember how that turned out?

[After escaping from the bomb]

Gates:
Oh, for heaven's sake, Detective. Just kiss the man.

Beckett:
Sir, you know?

Gates:
What? Do you think I'm an idiot? I needed to maintain plausible deniability, which I can continue as long as you two both act professionally at the precinct.

Castle:
I know I can, but, Captain, she has a long history of coming on to me at work-

Beckett:
I don't think it'll be a problem, sir.

Beckett:
Well, we don't have a body, we don't have a crime scene, we don't have any witnesses, but-

Castle:
At least we have each other.

Beckett:
We still have a homicide to solve.

Castle:
And that.

Castle:
Do you think the military took him out?

Beckett:
I don't see how they could.

Castle:
Because they wouldn't cross that line?

Beckett:
Because in my experience, huge bureaucracies don't act with that kind of efficiency.

Castle:
That's comforting.

Beckett:
How many drones were in the air this morning?

Hooper:
That information is classified.

Beckett:
Colonel Fortis, was there a drone flying over New York City at 8:15 a.m.?

Col. Fortis:
That's classified.

Castle:
Okay, how about this? Did anyone else have access to the drones? Any federal agencies? Corporations?

Castle & Col. Fortis:
That's classified

Beckett:
Okay, then I'd like to take a look at your flight logs-

Col. Fortis:
This meeting is over.

Hooper:
Keep in mind, the waivers you signed prohibits you from discussing what was said here.

Castle:
Nothing was said here.

Hooper:
Well, then we shouldn't have a problem.

Castle:
Touche.

Beckett:
[noticing a man in the next room] That man over there, he was at the crime scene. Who is he? Does he work for you?

Castle:
Don't bother. It's classified.

Stack:
So what do you want to know?

Beckett:
Why don't we start with who are you?

Stack:
Jared Stack. Special Investigator for the Attorney General's office.

Castle:
I've never heard of it.

Stack:
[whispering] You're not supposed to.

Beckett:
And what's your connection to Dale Tanner?

Stack:
Tanner was under scrutiny by the FBI, DHS and the Pentagon, not to mention the NYPD Counter-Terrorism Unit. Somebody objective needed to look into his death, so they picked me.

Beckett:
When did you realize that he was killed by a drone and not a car bomb?

Stack:
Once our people examined the wreckage.

Castle:
Why the fake ID?

Stack:
I didn't know where this was headed. The AG needs deniability.

Castle:
"The secretary will disavow all knowledge of your actions." It's Mission: Impossible.

Stack:
Pretty much. I'm even wearing a mask.

Castle:
Really?

Stack:
[whispering] No.

Stack:
The fact is, we've lost a number of drones, some of them have fallen into enemy hands.

Beckett:
So one of our enemies killed Tanner? With a drone?

Castle:
That theory is highly improbable. And coming from me, that's saying something

Castle:
That's Warburg? I was expecting-

Ryan:
Dr. Evil?

Castle:
Or someone a little less nerdy.

Castle:
Warburg is here. I can feel it.

Beckett:
Castle, you've said that about every place we've been to so far.

Castle:
Yeah, but this time I mean it. The Force is stronger with this one.

Beckett:
I don't understand what a car driving through the desert has to do with Dale Tanner.

Warburg:
[holding the photo up] Intelligence reports said there were three high-ranking Afghan militants in this car. It was the right make and model, traveling at a high rate of speed. So the drone pilot was given the green light to strike. But then, he saw those red dots on the trunk, and he had a feeling. So he aborted the mission. There were no militants in that car. The red dots were roses; because the young couple driving down that desert road had just gotten married. That's when I knew I could no longer be a part of the drone program.

Castle:
But I don't understand why. The pilot didn't fire.

Warburg:
Because the next generation of drones won't have pilots. The new AI software will give drones decision-making capability. They'll assess the data and take lethal action all on their own.

Castle:
Really will be rise of the machines.

Warburg:
Those new drones would turn that car to ash without hesitation. That's why, when lives are at stake, we need a man who sees roses. We need the human factor.

[Answering the cell-phone]

Castle:
For Richard Castle, press one. For Beckett, press two

Esposito:
Yo, how about I just talk, jackass

Stack:
Detective Beckett, and Mr. Castle. Both the President and the Attorney General have asked me to convey their thanks for your work on this case.

Castle:
[raising his hand] I don't suppose the President's appreciation could come in the form of a blurb for my book?

Stack:
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

Esposito:
Crystal Sky? That name's so fake it sounds like something out of one of your books.

Castle:
Right? [chuckling at first, but then stops] Whoa. What is that supposed to mean?

Esposito:
What do you means, "What is that supposed to mean?" Derrick Storm, Nikki Heat, Jameson Rook? Would it kill you to name someone "Gonzales" every once in a while?

Castle:
Maybe Erika was some kind of Erin Brockovich, you know. A crusader for good, delving into the seedy underbelly of the legal system in order to uncover some seamy truth.

Beckett:
Or maybe she was just hired by a rival firm to steal privileged information.

Castle:
Now why must you be so cynical?

Beckett:
It's in my job description.

Castle:
Which is why you need me.

Esposito:
So no one at the law firm knew what she was looking for either?

Beckett:
Either that or they're covering something up. But the only evidence of what she was up to is on that missing laptop.

Castle:
So without it, we're dead in the water. Much like Erika.

[Castle and Esposito glance at each other]

Castle & Esposito:
Too soon.

[In the interrogation room with Martin]

Beckett:
Do you have any idea how many people have sat across that table confess their sins to me? What makes you think you're any different? Any smarter? [Turns around] You've only been in this room for one hour. But this room… This room has been my life. My home. [Turning back] And I will not let you sit there and let you lie to me in my own home.

[Beckett meets Castle at a swing set in a park]

Beckett:
I'm sorry...I shouldn't have kept secrets.

Castle:
It's who you are. You don't let people in. I've had to scratch and claw for every inch--

Beckett:
Castle--

Castle:
Please let me finish. I've been doing a lot of thinking about us, about our relationship. What we have. Where we're headed. I've decided I want more. We both deserve more.

Beckett:
I agree.

Castle:
So whatever happens...whatever you decide...[Castle gets off the swing and kneels in front of Beckett] Katherine Houghton Beckett...[he pulls out an engagement ring and holds it up] will you marry me?

[Fade to black--end of episode, end of season]

Rick Castle:
You volunteered to take Eldin's shift. Don't pretend. If you aren't ready, why not just tell me?

Kate Beckett:
I'm sorry, Castle. I didn't mean to...

Rick Castle:
You didn't mean to what?

Kate Beckett:
Christmas means something different to me than it does to you.

Rick Castle:
It's Christmas. I mean, how can it be different?

Kate Beckett:
Castle, every winter, as soon as that chill rolls in, I'm right back there in that alley. January 9th, and we still hadn't taken our Christmas decorations down. And by the time my dad and I did, it was like we were putting Christmas away forever. We haven't opened those boxes since.

Rick Castle:
I didn't know.

Kate Beckett:
That's why, every year, my dad goes up to his cabin. And ever since I became a rookie, I have taken the Christmas shift. Because I know that there are families out there that are celebrating together in their homes and I am keeping watch, and that is my tradition. And that is important to me. It's as important as your tradition is to you. And I'm sorry, Castle. I thought I could let that go, but I...

Rick Castle:
I understand.

[being led out of the precinct, Siobhan spots Ryan]

Siobhan:
Fenton?

Ryan:
Siobhan?

Siobhan:
Fenton!

[Siobhan runs up to Ryan and, in front of Jenny, kisses him full on the mouth]

Jenny:
Hey! What the hell are you doing? That's my husband!

Siobhan:
You're married? [slaps Ryan]

Castle:
Whoa, lady, you can't slap a cop.

Siobhan:
You're a cop? [slaps him the other way; patrol cops carry her away]

Castle:
Oh!

Siobhan:
Ugh! You liar! You son of a bitch! How could you? Get off of me! Let go!

[as things settle down, Jenny looks at Ryan]

Ryan:
[awkward pause] I can explain.

Beckett:
Tommy "The Shark"'s alibi holds. He was with some associates at a nightclub that he owns.

Esposito':
It doesn't mean he didn't send of one of his boys.

Beckett:
Look, if he killed Clara, he wouldn't have talked to me. No. Hiding the money, planning to disappear. Something else is going on here. So what've you got on the husband?

Ryan:
Oh, not much. He's a manager at a big name supermarket in Queens. No priors. Been married seven years. Oh! And he took a million-dollar life insurance policy out on his wife only three months ago.

Esposito:
Huh. That's not suspicious.

Castle:
Well, maybe next time you'll think twice about being cheating cheaters.

Castle:
Looks as though you two were enjoying yourselves.

Beckett:
Castle...

Castle:
What about pajamas? Homely flannel or skimpy sleep shorts?

Beckett:
Oh, my gosh, you're sounding like my dad dropping me off at summer camp.

Castle:
Did they serve champagne at your summer camp?

Beckett:
I was being polite. Castle, do you think I want this? Do you think I asked to be here?

Castle:
I think you're making the best of it.

Beckett:
You know I would rather be with you.

Castle:
Well, then maybe I should stay. We could protect him together.

Beckett:
No, I am not letting you do this. I'm not letting you turn this investigation into some kind of a *twisted* competition. Look, don't make this harder than it needs to be. Please.

Castle:
Okay. But only because you said please.

Beckett:
It's gonna be fine.

Eric:
I know it is. I've worked with the best and you'd run circles around any of them. Before your first cup of coffee... I feel completely safe in your care.

Beckett:
After knowing me for just two days?

Eric:
No, after knowing you for two minutes.

Beckett:
[answers phone] Hey, Lanie. What's up?

Lanie:
[on phone] Your cause of death. The poison was a chemically synthesized weaponized agent, similar to the organic compound saxitoxin.

Beckett:
Saxitoxin?

Lanie:
Mm-hmm. It usually occurs in shellfish, but not this version. Whoever created this had access to a pretty sophisticated lab. And this one's been supercharged. Speaking of supercharged, is it true that you're with Eric Vaughn? I mean, Kate, I know you love Castle and all, but girlfriend...

Beckett:
Bye, Lanie. [hangs up]

Gates:
Okay, I spoke with the Commissioner, and he's agreed to provide Vaughn with a protective detail.

Beckett:
Uh, great. I actually have a few uniforms that I'd like to recommend for duty.

Gates:
No. Mr. Vaughn has requested you.

Castle:
He what now?

Beckett:
Sir, I'm a homicide detective, not some bodyguard.

Gates:
Trust me, I know. But this comes directly from the Commissioner.

Castle:
Then why doesn't Vaughn just hire a private army? He can afford that.

Gates:
I don't know why, Mr. Castle. I just know what my orders are. He wants Detective Beckett, and only Beckett. [turns and leaves]

Castle:
Can he even do that?

Beckett:
I think he just did.