Charmed, Season 3

Phoebe:
If Piper ever comes back, I'm going to kill her.

Leo:
Piper!

Piper:
This is so not happening.

Leo:
Listen to me, Piper. I told you, I've thought this whole thing through.

Piper:
Uh huh. Is that why you asked me to marry you in a toilet?

Prue:
Okay any mass vanquishing spells?

Phoebe:
You're the one who's been studying the book.

Prue:
Why are you picking on me?

Phoebe:
Because I'm scared and we're outnumbered.

Piper:
So, why did you do that to your hair?

Phoebe:
To change my luck.

Phoebe:
Okay, what was that all about? I didn't even get to bitch at her.

Leo:
I hate to be the bearer of bad news.

Piper:
Can't you possibly be the bearer of a big hug?

Prue:
Yeah, well, rules are meant to be broken.

Phoebe:
Yeah, but bodies weren't.

Piper:
And neither were hearts.

Grams:
You need guidance, some advice on a certain sister situation. Am I getting warm?

Phoebe:
Red hot. But wait a minute, if you know, that means that they know, and if they know then we are f...

Grams:
Fine.

Prue:
What love can't conquer, we will.

Cole:
You better be careful or a guy might think he's been followed.

(Phoebe laughs)

Piper:
You better be careful or a girl might think her sister's getting a really cheesy pick up line.

Piper:
Come on, Phoebe, trolls and fairies? You don't believe that stuff.

Phoebe:
Sure, why not?

Piper:
(to Prue) Well, maybe it's time we tell her about Santa...

Piper:
Why are you being so stubborn about this?

Phoebe:
Because I'm a Scorpio, what's your excuse?

Prue:
Okay. So, it's kinda late, and, ummm, we're all a little bit tired so how about we finish this up tomorrow?

Phoebe:
Now look what you did, you went and turned Prue into the middle child.

Phoebe:
We all had the same invisible fairy friend Piper. That is proof that fairies exist.

Piper:
Or it proves that one of us had a really fertile imagination, and the other two were really big copycats.

Piper:
I'm done.

Phoebe:
What does that mean?

Piper:
That means that the Powers That Be haven't done anything but ruin my life, so I'm not doing anything for them anymore. Ok? (walks around Phoebe) I going now. ...I'm going now.

Phoebe:
I think she's on strike.

Kate:
Thistle says that if you really believe in fairies, there's something that can make you innocent again so you can see her. (She throws fairy dust on Prue & Phoebe, who begin to giggle and act like little girls.)

Kate:
I think it worked.

Prue:
(bouncing up and down) I want to see the fairy.

(Kate opens her jewelry box, and a fairy flies out. Prue & Phoebe's jaws drop.)

Prue:
Okay, what was I supposed to say? That some unknown demon came in to try and steal our magic book and then little trolls came and pushed us down the stairs?

Piper:
I am a good person. I'm a good witch. And damnit, I would have made a great wife. And how dare you take that from me? I deserve... no, I demand, that you send him back to me. You hear me? I'm going to stand in this very spot until you send Leo back to me.

Prue:
It's just... You don't seem very open.

Piper:
I'm as open as I'm gonna get in the next 5 minutes, so, let's just do the damn spell.

Prue, Piper, Phoebe:
In this tween time, this darkest hour, We call upon the sacred power, Three together stand alone, Command the unseen to be shown, In innocence we search the skies, Enchanted are our newfound eyes.

In this tween time, this darkest hour,

We call upon the sacred power,

Three together stand alone,

Command the unseen to be shown,

In innocence we search the skies,

Enchanted are our newfound eyes.

Prue:
Hey, are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Piper:
I'm going to be a very good witch from now on.

Prue:
And you picked a role model that wears lots and lots of pink?

Piper:
Yes.

Leo:
Glinda helped innocents didn't she?

Piper:
Yes.

Phoebe:
You had the answer all along? That's not help, that's mind games.

Phoebe:
This costume happens to be a protest statement.

Prue:
I am so impressed that you can make a protest statement and show cleavage all at the same time.

Phoebe:
Thanks.

Piper:
Nice costume.

Darryl:
It's from my rookie days. Still fits.

Leo:
Mine too.

Darryl:
Isn't that from World War II? Who are you?

Piper:
Flee! We're not in Kansas anymore!

Prue:
From what they're wearing it looks to be what the 16...1700's...

Phoebe:
Where the life expectancy of the average witch is, oh, 15 minutes.

Eva:
This doorway would have told us if you were evil.

Piper:
Huh! Where can we get one of those?

Piper:
(referring to the elders) Oh, leave it to them to zap first and give instructions never.

Darryl:
Well, on the human side of things, I need you guys to put together a grudge list of any enemies you have past or present.

Prue:
Already done.

Darryl:
Abraxas, Barbas, Yama... What did you do? Date the United Nations?

Piper:
What are those?

Prue:
A way to always be prepared.

Phoebe:
These are very large contraceptives, Prue.

Phoebe:
I'm bummed for you Piper, but I've got to tell you, Leo is looking fine!

Piper:
I thought you said you didn't see anything.

Phoebe:
I didn't… at least nothing good!

Phoebe:
You didn't nearly catch a demon, you nearly killed a district attorney. My district attorney!

Phoebe:
I have a date with Cole.

Prue:
You say that like it's a bad thing.

Phoebe:
It's a lunch date!

Prue:
So?

Phoebe:
So! It's a bad sign. Lunch is a cheap imitation of dinner, that's why it has its own special menu.

Piper:
Sometimes being magical takes the magic right out of things.

Prue:
What's your last name?

Vinceres:
Misery.

Prue:
In that case, would you like some company?

Phoebe:
So...how about those Niners?

Cole:
What?

Phoebe:
The Niners. The Forty-Niners. The football team. You don't follow football? [to Leo and Piper] He isn't human.

Cole:
(coughs on his water) Check!

Piper:
Phoebe, I know you're upset Leo crashed your lunch date but...

Phoebe:
No, it's not that. Cole is pulling away from me again, I can see it.

Piper:
Premonition?

Phoebe:
Intuition.

Leo:
We'll help you out.

Prue:
No, no, no. I'll hit the book alone. Your guys couple issues are really starting to hurt my head.

Piper:
Wait, we have couple issues?

Prue:
Resentment. Denial. Be nice!

Piper:
Here he is. Vinceres, hmm... Pretty much lives up to his gloss. Unstoppable hitman. Just keeps going until he gets his target.

Phoebe:
Great. The energizer demon.

Prue:
Free thee empath, Release his gift, Let his pain be cast adrift.

Free thee empath,

Release his gift,

Let his pain be cast adrift.

Prue:
Phoebe? Phoebe! Hi. I hate to interrupt your whole "staring off into space aimlessly" thing that you've got going on right now, but in case you forgot, evil Triad agent.

Phoebe:
Like you would ever let me forget, Prue.

Cole:
(to himself) I'm sorry but we have to stop seeing each other, okay. Why? Because, because I have to kill you that's why. Smooth.

Phoebe:
This is important, he wants to have the talk. You know, are we a couple, are we a one-nighter, are we friends, are we friends that had a one-nighter...?

Prue:
What is your problem?

Piper:
You are. Get your own damn club and keep your paws off of mine!

Prue:
Okay, whoa, obviously somebody needs a Midol. (Andras peeks inside the kitchen)

Piper:
And I am so sick of all of your stuff laying around. If you can't put your equipment away, then I will! (grabs a lens and throws it to the floor, just as Andras infects Prue with rage)

Prue:
(does a slow burn) Who the hell do you think you are?! (grabs a blender and smashes it on the floor)

Piper:
"Sure, you can use P3 for a photo shoot." Hello? Remember me?

Prue:
Oh, poor Piper! Well, you know what? The martyr routine's really getting old.

Phoebe:
Hey guys, what's going on?

Prue and Piper:
(to Phoebe) Shut up!

Prue:
You know what? I am so sorry I didn't check with you about your stupid little club, but I was busy being the only witch concerned about the Triad.

Piper:
Oh, right--without the mighty Prue Halliwell, we'd all be dead. Get over yourself, Prue.

Phoebe:
Sisters, what has gotten into you two?

Prue:
(to Phoebe) By the way, you owe me for a car tow and a tank of gas, you little leech!

Phoebe:
I'm sorry, is it "Gang Up On Phoebe Day' and nobody told me?

Piper:
News flash--the world does not revolve around Phoebe!

Prue:
Yeah, so while you spend the night screwing the DA, we are stuck picking up your slack. (Andras, watching outside the window, infects Phoebe with rage)

Phoebe:
What's the matter, Prue? Jealous? All work and no play making you even more boring?

Prue:
Oh yeah, there's a lot to be jealous of, Phoebe. What, jealous that I'm still in school? Jealous that I'm still unemployed? And jealous that I am still living off of my sisters?

Piper:
Yeah, Grams said you'd never amount to anything.

Prue:
I am so sick that I have been saddled with the two of you my entire life!

Phoebe:
Whatever, I'm leaving!

Piper:
Oh sure--you're such an immature brat, you leave every time you can't hack something.

Phoebe:
Well, there's nothing keeping me here now, is there?

Prue:
Oh, well I see that you inherited Dad's talent for bailing!

Phoebe:
That's because the two of us couldn't deal with living with the two of you!

Piper:
Well, at least I'm not so stupid that I had to do college twice.

Phoebe:
Well, at least I had the courage to go away to college. What's the matter, Piper? The real world too much for you? I am so sick of the two of you ganging up on me and judging me!

Prue:
I am so sick of saving your asses!

Piper:
I'm sick of being taken for granted, and those are mine! (yanks one of her earrings off Phoebe's ear)

Phoebe:
Ouch! Bitch!

Phoebe:
Has the tribal council spoken? Am I booted off the island?

Prue:
Who needs Oprah when we can do it ourselves?

Prue:
Okay, that's new.

Phoebe:
Demon with...demon filling.

Prue:
Pig's feet.

Piper:
Yecch.

Prue:
Ecch?

Piper:
Yecch.

Prue:
So you can slice off a chunk of demon flesh, but you can't touch a pig's foot?

Piper:
I'm a vegetarian.

Prue:
Since when?

Piper:
Since now.

Prue:
Who are you?

Krell:
I'm Krell. I'm a Zotar.

Prue:
I'm Prue. I'm a Scorpio.

Krell:
Just the thought of working with you two turns my stomachs.

Piper:
Stomachs?

Prue:
Listen, here's the deal. Belthazor killed the Triad, now the Source wants him dead. Krell is trying to suck up to the Source, so he wants to kill Belthazor

Piper:
Belthazor wants to kill us so the Source won't kill him.

Leo:
And if you work with Krell he can kill Belthazor before he kills you.

Phoebe:
Works for me!

Krell:
How do you witches ever get anything done?

Piper:
We're going to vanquish Phoebe's boyfriend? That's gonna cause some problems.

Prue, Piper, and Phoebe:
Spirits of air, forest and sea; Set us of this demon free; Beasts of hoof and beasts of shell, Drive this evil back to hell!

Spirits of air, forest and sea;

Set us of this demon free;

Beasts of hoof and beasts of shell,

Drive this evil back to hell!

Prue, Piper, and Phoebe:
Magic forces black and white, Reaching out through space and light, Be he far or be he near, Bring us the demon Belthazor here.

Magic forces black and white,

Reaching out through space and light,

Be he far or be he near,

Bring us the demon Belthazor here.

Leo:
Come on Piper, isn't this supposed to be a fun thing. You know, going back and seeing all your old friends.

Piper:
You weren't by any chance popular in high school were you?

Leo:
Well I was.. I mean.. Is there a right answer to this question?

Piper:
What I mean is I'm this super powerful witch who's engaged to a whitelighter saving the world from evil on a daily freaking basis, and all these people are going to see is the same pitiful loser who still lives at home with her sisters and her unemployed boyfriend.

Prue:
Come on, why do you even care what those people think?

Piper:
Only a former cheerleader could ask that question.

Prue:
Wow, you only scored a four, that is just so sad.

Justin Harper:
Excuse me, but you only scored a five out of ten on my list.

Prue:
Right, So I got an F, but dude, you got an F-!

Justin Harper:
Ouch! That's a bad high school flashback.

Terra:
What kind of witch can't vanquish a demon without her sisters?

Piper:
What the hell kind of demon has a panic attack everytime her boyfriend comes to visit?

Prue:
Oh my god.. and she's been acting really.. and she left without saying.. and and the bottle, she wanted to destroy it.

Phoebe:
I'm trying to jump on your thought train but you're moving a little too fast for me here.

Prue, Piper, and Phoebe:
Let flesh be flesh and bone be bone, The alchemist will transform none, Cruel scientist of evil born, With these words face the fires scorn.

Let flesh be flesh and bone be bone,

The alchemist will transform none,

Cruel scientist of evil born,

With these words face the fires scorn.

Prue, Piper, and Phoebe:
Host soul, reject the poison essence, Let loves light end this cruel possession.

Host soul, reject the poison essence,

Let loves light end this cruel possession.

Prue:
Alright, well, nothing usually means something, and something usually means a boy, so...

Piper:
He's still staring at me!

Phoebe:
That's not staring, that's flirting!

Piper:
You say tomato…

Phoebe:
No! I say relaxo!

Piper:
Prue, it's me leaving you another message after leaving Phoebe another message. I tried you at work, but they said you never checked in after your shoot, so where are you guys? (Piper sees the same guy as before standing at the other end of the bar). Uh, look, so call me, or better yet, just show up and save me from having to perform an impending awkward rejection all by myself.

Caleb:
Hi, I'm Caleb.

Piper:
Piper.

Caleb:
I'm sorta new in town and I'm looking to meet someone... (Piper looks away uncomfortably) someone special? (Piper gives him a blank stare) I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your phone call to your...

Piper:
Fiance. Very large, very jealous, fiance.

Caleb:
Really? Does he ever come here?

Piper:
Hahaha, yeah! All the time.

Caleb:
So he-he-he lives nearby?

Piper:
Uh, look, I'm flattered, and you know, if this was another time or place... uhh, maybe you'd like to meet one of my single sisters?

Caleb:
You've got sisters, rrreally? Well, maybe we could all, uh, get together sometime? (Piper turns away, clearly exasperated) Uh, does your fiance like to hang out with your sisters too?

Piper:
Okay, uhh, you know what? I don't know what kind of kinky stuff you're into, but there's a club, down the street, you might be more comfortable in. They've got, uh, cages and rubber floors, and a three-for-two special on Fridays.

Prue:
Hey, alright I need some professional help.

Phoebe:
No arguments here.

Prue:
Anything?

Piper:
Nope

Phoebe:
Maybe if you did it again with a little more "ummph", you know? Maybe some choreography, Piper could back you up with some old school beatbox.

Prue:
How did I know I wouldn't get any help from you crazy people?

Phoebe:
Prue, if you keep ignoring me, my feelings might actually implode.

Leo:
Why don't we try focusing on the positive? They're together.

Piper:
That's it, that's your positive?! Cos I've got a list a mile long in the negative column.

Leo:
Piper, any minute they are going to walk through that door with a perfectly good explanation.

Prue:
Piper!

Leo:
See!

Phoebe:
We thought the good guys were bad guys, and in trying to vanquish them, we helped the real bad guys, which were dead ringers for good guys.

Leo:
Was that English?

Prue:
You know, if this doesn't work I can look back and pinpoint the exact moment where it all went wrong.

Piper:
And that moment's name would be Dad? Prue, you gotta admit if he can open the door we kinda need him.

Prue:
It's all about word choice Piper, we don't need him, we need his utter lack of power. Right? He opens the door, we save the day, we get on with our lives. It's a one time group effort.

Piper:
Glad to see you have a healthy handle on the situation, Prue.

Prue:
I think I do!

Piper:
So your interest in me?

Ice Cream Man:
Uh, huh. Strictly professional. I was lost. But until I was sure who you were I couldn't just come out and say, hey are you a Charmed One, 'cos I need you to take me to my demon catching truck.

Piper:
Whenever I decide to have kids, remind me of this day.

Phoebe:
What she needs, we can't give her.

Natalie:
What happened?

Prue:
Piper froze ya.

Natalie:
S-she what?

Prue:
(laughing) Yep.

Leo:
Piper, what are you doing?

Piper:
Getting irritated. Who put Lady Attitude in charge?

Leo:
She's not in charge.

Piper:
Really? 'Cause she's acting like it. I thought Whitelighters were supposed to guide, not dictate.

Leo:
Hey, you want to freeze me in bed for your own personal pleasure, that is fine, but freezing Natalie is not gonna make her or the Elders happy.

Phoebe:
Who's Natalie?

Piper:
She's a f...

Leo:
(interrupting) Fellow whitelighter. See, I finished your sentence.

Piper:
Hm. That's not what I was going to say.

Piper:
We went, we saw, we didn't quite conquer.

Natalie:
You must prepare yourselves for battle. Mentally, physically, spiritually, sartorially...

(Piper scoffs)

Phoebe:
I'm sorry, what?

Piper:
She doesn't like our clothes.

Natalie:
You need clothes that are loose and move. That means no more braless, strapless... fearless attire.

Prue:
Okay, then I have nothing to wear.

Natalie:
Alright, lets pretend I'm the enemy.

Prue:
Oh, that is way too easy.

(Phoebe claps her hands and Piper giggles)

Natalie:
Very funny. Now, talk me through how you plan to separate me from my crossbow.

Piper:
OK, first I freeze you.

Natalie:
I deflect that.

Phoebe:
I guess I could levitate and kick you.

Natalie:
You just kicked a clone.

Prue:
All right, how about I send in an astral Prue as a decoy and then I just ... (flicks her hand and yanks the piece of wood out of Natalie's hand) Oh, I'm so sorry. (Phoebe laughs at Prue's sarcasm)

Natalie:
Not as sorry as you would be if I just blinked behind you and stabbed you to death.

Prue:
Well, that would be bad.

Piper:
Ouch.

Phoebe:
All right, you know what? This is too hard. Usually in these situations, you know, everything happens so quickly. The adrenaline is pumping.

Natalie:
I want you to think using your brains, not your glands. Now try again.

Phoebe:
Hey, if we don't vanquish Eames, can we at least vanquish Natalie?

Piper:
Don't tempt me.

Prue:
Something doesn't feel right. This was way too easy.

Phoebe:
Or even worse, anticlimactic.

(Eames writhes in agony as the arrow's poison takes effect, while the sisters stand over him glowering)

Eames:
What the hell are you doing up here?

Phoebe:
Kicking your ass!

Prue:
Don't even bother trying to orb out. It won't work. You see, you didn't just get the powers of a Whitelighter, but you get their vulnerability too. So the poison in that arrow is killing you just like you killed Natalie.

Piper:
It's kind of poetic.

Phoebe:
I'm kind of in a rhyming mood--how about you, girls?

Prue:
Sure, this poison isn't working fast enough for me.

Prue, Piper and Phoebe:
Time for amends and a victim's revenge ...

Prue:
Cloning power, turn sour ... (Eames bursts into flames and screams in agony)

Piper:
Power to change, turn to strange ...

Phoebe:
(in a mock Texas accent) I'm rejectin' your deflection! (Eames disintegrates)

Prue:
Ugh, innocents and alleys. Don't they ever learn?

Prue:
I know that demon...I dated that demon!

Phoebe:
Piper also babbles when she's nervous.

Piper:
I resent that. I am expressing a valid concern about this continuing issue in our lives.

Prue:
[walking in] What are you babbling about?

(Phoebe laughs)

Piper:
You know, if I could freeze the two of you, I would. Often.

Leo:
I sorta... kinda lost the wedding ring.

(Piper gasps and Prue looks shocked.)

Darryl:
I've got a great ring guy downtown if you need one.

Piper:
He doesn't need one, he has a ring. Mom's ring. I gave it to him, so he could give it back to me at the perfect, romantic moment!

Phoebe:
Wow, Leo, you lost Mom's ring. It's a good thing you're dead already.

Leo:
I had it in my pocket, Piper. All the orbing in and out...

Piper:
Your orbs are grass if you do not find that ring.

Leo:
You have to tell them, Phoebe. You can't wait any longer.

Phoebe:
Well, it's not really an easy thing to drop into conversation, Leo. You know, like "your hair looks great. Cole's not dead. I let him go."

Phoebe:
I cast a little spell.

Darryl:
The less I know, the happier I am.

Prue:
Alright, I am going to win this fight and save your ass. That way I can kick it myself later.

Piper, and Phoebe:
Guiding spirits I ask your charity, Lend me your focus and clarity, Lead me to the one i cannot find, Restore that and my piece of mind.

Guiding spirits I ask your charity,

Lend me your focus and clarity,

Lead me to the one i cannot find,

Restore that and my piece of mind.

Prue:
You know, besides, a wedding invite definitely makes a statement.

Leo:
That he can tie a bow tie?

Piper:
Tell me the truth. Do you think I'm pushing it too far with the wedding?

Prue:
Okay, why is Phoebe going to school without her books?

Piper:
Okay, why is Prue not answering Piper's question?

Prue:
Because Prue doesn't want both her sisters not speaking to her.

Prue:
Can I have my lipstick back, Piper?

Piper:
What lipstick?

Prue:
The lipstick you borrowed last night.

Piper:
Wasn't me.

Prue:
Oh, I'm sorry. I must have gotten you confused with another Piper!

Leo:
I thought you said there was nothing in the Book.

Piper:
Well now, there's just a whole bunch of weirdness in it. Look.

Leo:
Hemlock killing spell? That doesn't belong in here.

Piper:
But it does have possibilities...

Leo:
Piper!

Piper:
I'm sorry, I don't know what I was ... (she blinks into the kitchen.)

Leo:
Piper?

Piper:
In here, somehow ...

Leo:
You blinked.

Piper:
I did not! Only warlocks do that.

Leo:
Nope, you did it.

(Piper and Phoebe blink from the kitchen into the living room)

Piper:
Catch us if you can!

Phoebe:
Have you tried it yet, Leo? It's a real head rush.

Leo:
Do you realize how serious this is? You're blinking, the Book is changing.

Piper:
Maybe we're blinking because of the Book.

Leo:
The Book is changing because of you. It is an extension of you.

Piper:
I should care about that--but I don't.

Leo:
This is what I was afraid of. Whoever's got Prue is somehow reaching you too.

Phoebe:
Okay Leo, I can tell this really upsets you, but I gotta tell you, I really like this whole 'think it and it happens' deal. I mean, just think of the time we could save not chanting!

(after Piper freezes the female wedding planner)

Leo:
Have you guys lost your minds?

Phoebe:
Oh, Leo, get on board. Whatever this is, this is fabulous. You can't imagine the freedom, the power.

Leo:
Phoebe, that is evil talking. You have to fight it!

Phoebe:
What did you ever see in him?

Piper:
I don't know. He is kind of a stick in the mud, isn't he?

Phoebe:
Oh, another great idea! May I?

Piper:
Be my guest.

Leo:
All right, think about the power of ... (he gets cut off when Phoebe waves her hand and turns him into a stick in a barrel of mud.)

Phoebe:
Look at all the fun we've been missing.

Piper:
And this is just the beginning!

(after Leo orbs out.)

Piper:
Oh no--he's gone. We're free!

Phoebe:
Yes.

Piper:
No more obeying the rules, considering the consequences, none of that crap!

Phoebe:
Time to find Prue and go for broke.

Piper:
Where are you going?

Phoebe:
Well, I can't wreak havoc dressed like this.

Cole:
Phoebe, if what I found out is true, Prue is in serious trouble. She's being forced to marry a warlock.

Phoebe:
Figures that bitch would steal Piper's thunder!

Cole:
You don't understand. A high-level priestess named Dantalian is rumored to have married them. She's got the power to turn her evil, and turn you evil too. That's what's happening here.

Phoebe:
So? Isn't that the way you want me? (she kisses him passionately again)

Cole:
No, that is not how I want you to be. It is not how I want us to be. Our only chance is if we're both ... good.

Phoebe:
Love is love.

Cole:
There is no such thing as evil love. It's only gratification, lust.

Piper:
What's going on in here?

Phoebe:
Nothing, unfortunately.

Piper:
I heard voices.

Phoebe:
Oh, did you? Um, I had a premonition. Must have gotten pretty loud.

Piper:
I guess.

Phoebe:
We gotta go. The high priestess that has Prue, supposedly she's coming here.

Piper:
High pr--? Must have been a hell of a premonition.

Dantalian:
That was easy.

Piper:
Too easy.

(Phoebe kicks Dantalian from behind, and holds a knife to her neck)

Piper:
Where's our sister?

Dantalian:
(apprehensively) I can help you. I can teach you evil. You're new at it, you don't know how to realize its full potential.

Piper:
I don't know, I think we're getting the hang of it.

Phoebe:
Wanna see?

Piper:
Where's Prue?

Dantalian:
Kill me and you'll never see her again.

Piper:
So maybe we should (stomps on Dantalian) torture you instead!

(Piper waves her hand, and Dantalian's hand freezes; Dantalian screams in agony.)

Phoebe:
Why don't you just shatter her hand and see what happens?

(while Dantalian pants, Piper grabs a candle holder.)

Piper:
Last chance. (Dantalian stares) Fine. (smashes Dantalian's hand, Dantalian screams in agony)

Phoebe:
Now, the really weird thing is we could do that to the other hand, and then go down to your feet ...

Piper:
Actually, we could work up piece by piece, all the way to her head.

Phoebe:
(waves knife and Dantalian's head) Where is Prue?

Piper:
Whoa, Prue. Hey, hi. You don't look so good.

Phoebe:
Oh, but that's a great dress.

Dantalian:
Zile, Prue--eliminate them!

Piper:
Prue, ignore her. Come on, come with us--we're your sisters.

Prue:
I'm his wife, not your sister. (she raises her hands and sends Piper and Phoebe flying into the wall)

Prue:
I love you.

Another Prue:
You too.

Piper:
Huh. Welcome to Planet Narcissist.

Phoebe:
Oh yeah, Leo, sorry we killed you.

Dantalian:
I hope so. (She touches their foreheads) In the beginning, we were damned, and through damnation, we found freedom, power, and purpose. As I unite you today, I remind you of those gifts. (Dantalian ties Zile and Prue's hands together) And in your union, may these gifts increase your powers may grow in the service of evil. So be it.

Prue, Piper, and Phoebe:
Powers of light, Magic of right, Cast this blight Into forever's night.

Powers of light,

Magic of right,

Cast this blight

Into forever's night.

Phoebe:
Dad doesn't know that Leo is a whitelighter.

Prue & Leo:
What?!

Piper:
Well, I've been meaning to tell him, but considering Mom had an affair with her whitelighter, I didn't think he'd be really receptive to the idea.

Leo:
Piper, he's gonna kill me when he finds out.

Piper:
Oh, don't be ridiculous, you're already dead.

Victor:
Hm. Leo, I think it's time to come clean.

Leo:
You do?

Victor:
Yeah. I need to talk to you about something, man-to-man.

Leo:
Man-to-man.

Victor:
Well, from one mortal to another. Leo, it's not easy being married to a witch.

Leo:
No?

Victor:
That's why my marriage to Piper's mother didn't work out. It wasn't because I didn't love her, but because I wasn't prepared for what was to come.

Leo:
Well, I think I'm prepared, sir. Uh, I mean, Victor.

Victor:
Well, don't get me wrong, Leo. I want this marriage to succeed, that's why I'm warning you. But there are dangers out there worse than demons and warlocks. You do know about them, don't you?

Leo:
Yeah, sure.

Victor:
Well the dangers I'm talking about, you're not even going to see it coming. The thing I'm talking about will just sneak up on you (snaps his fingers in front of Leo's face) and destroy your marriage if you're not careful. Leo, do you know what a whitelighter is?

Leo:
Um...

Victor:
Look, my point is, if you wanna...

(Leo is being called)

Leo:
Uh oh...

Victor:
Wha?

Leo:
Uh... (gulps) I have to go. Now.

Victor:
Go?

Leo:
Yeah, and I don't think you're gonna like the way I have to go, either. (smiles awkwardly at Victor and orbs out)

(Victor is clearly surprised)

Cole:
You have to hold my hand.

Prue:
This sucks already.

Phoebe:
Well, don't get mad at me, I've been shot.

Prue:
Hi. What am I? A potted plant?

Victor:
Oh, so now I'm supposed to trust a demon?

Leo:
You know, as much as I hate to say this, Cole loves Phoebe. He took a huge risk to come here and try and prove himself to her and he will do whatever it takes to save her life.

Phoebe:
He's right.

Victor:
How can you be so sure?

Phoebe:
Because he loves me as much as I love him.

Bartender:
What'll it be?

Prue:
Moonshine

Bartender:
A what?

Cole:
She means a whiskey. (to Prue) You watch too many old movies.

Prue:
And you would be confusing me with Phoebe.

Cole:
Ha, not a chance.

Cole:
I still think you should have worn that pretty little red dress hanging on the line.

Grams:
Is this the biggest arch you could get?

Prue:
Without opening a fast food franchise, yeah.

Grams:
Well just remember, if love is the quest, then marriage is the conquest. This place must feel like... victory.

Phoebe:
And here I thought weddings were meant to be romantic.

Grams:
Oh, my dear, sweet child.

Prue:
Better listen to Grams, Phoebe. I mean you could always calculate her age by the number of rings on her fingers.

Grams:
I'll see you tomorrow, at four o'clock, Mrs. Halliwell. The women keep their names in this family.

Inspector:
Ah, you stick your tongue down her throat but you don't know her name?

TJ:
That against the law?

Phoebe:
Huh, wow, so you're relinquishing control to your little sister. You must really be tired.

Phoebe:
Piper, you have to stay positive. You know what? I have Celine Dion "Behind The Music" on video cassette. Would you like to watch that?

Piper:
Would you like to get slapped?

Leo:
I love her with all my heart, and I promise to keep loving her and taking care of her for the rest of this life, the afterlife and whatever comes after that. Now you may not support it, and you may not agree with it, but it is not going to stop me from marrying your daughter today. Nothing will.

Victor:
You know.. I could probably get used to having a whitelighter for a son-in-law.

Cole:
Everybody having fun down here?

Leo:
Where do you stand on demons?

Victor:
Patty.

Patty:
Hello, Victor, how are you?

Victor:
Good. I mean, I was good. Alright, who brought my ex-wife back from the dead?

Grams:
Not now, Victor. I know you two have issues but that's what the reception is for.

Piper:
Prue! What the hell is going on?

Phoebe:
Prue! Get your astral ass back here!

Piper:
As Halliwells, we are blessed as witches but we are cursed as women. Sometimes I think we're all destined to be alone.

Leo:
Piper, through all the tears and struggles, I always knew in my heart that we'd make it here. I promise to love and respect you from this point forward as your husband, as my wife, my lover, my friend, and my soul mate. All I am is yours.

Piper:
Leo, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was afraid that you were too good to be true, that maybe I didn't deserve someone so pure and beautiful and loving as you are. But here we are surrounded by the people that I love the most and I feel so proud, and so blessed to be your wife. Leo, I was born to love you and I always will.

Prue:
I'm sorry if I've been a little cranky.

Phoebe:
Say no more. Princess Prue has spoken, by the orders of the queen, that's me! Phoebeville and all of it's glory will be abandoned for greener pastures, and two lattes.

Prue:
Oh, all hail the queen!

Phoebe:
Yay, I love to be hailed!

Piper:
I still don't understand why my sisters can't come, we could just do a group hug thing, and..

Leo:
I can orb you because you're my wife, but I'm not a cosmic taxi for the whole family.

Phoebe:
Hehe... you said wife!

Phoebe:
Alright you two, have fun. Bring me back a cloud!

Phoebe:
Pardon the potential understatement of a cliche, but you look like you've seen a ghost.

Piper:
It's just so bright.

Leo:
Of course it's bright. It's supposed to represent the light of eternal love.

Piper:
Wait, does that mean we can never turn if off?

Prue:
Hi. Need a little help?

Cole:
What are you doing here?

Reece:
How did you get here? What the hell's going on?

Seeker:
Well, well, well. The mighty Belthazor, in bed with a witch.

Prue:
Don't make me sick.

Phoebe:
They retreated?

Prue:
Yeah. I kicked ass.

Cole:
No, you kicked air.

Cole:
Inspector, you're in a room with three witches and a demon, do you really think that gun's gonna help?

Prue:
Spirits of air, sand and sea, Converge to set the angel free, In the wind I send this rhyme, Bring death before me, before my time.

Spirits of air, sand and sea,

Converge to set the angel free,

In the wind I send this rhyme,

Bring death before me, before my time.

Prue:
You don't know me, you don't know anything about me.

Death:
But I've seen it so many times before. The anger, the pain. You lock up your tears and angrily steel yourself against me as if I was the ultimate evil.

Prue:
You are the ultimate evil.

Death:
No. I'm not good or evil, I just am. I'm inevitable.

Prue, Piper, and Phoebe:
Knowledge gained by murderous means, Is wisdom's bitter enemy, The mind that burns with stolen fire, Will now become your funeral pyre.

Knowledge gained by murderous means,

Is wisdom's bitter enemy,

The mind that burns with stolen fire,

Will now become your funeral pyre.

Grams:
(Flashback) Is it too much for an old lady to ask her granddaughters to retract their claws, stand still and look at me long enough to take one lousy picture?

Phoebe:
Well, if so I got the runt. Bad teeth, funky clothes and way easy to kill.

Prue:
Black hair?

Piper:
Bad breath?

Phoebe You know him?

Prue:
Uh, I think I killed him.

Piper:
Leo and I are moving. (Everyone puts down their papers.) Thinking of moving, out of the manor. Um, milk?

Prue:
Excuse me?

Phoebe:
Wait a minute. Life altering plans can not be squeezed in between 'pass the newspaper' and 'who ate the Special K?'.

Phoebe So why bother us? Why not just jump in front of nine buses?

Prue:
Because we must be the only ones strong enough to kill him.

Piper:
And he knew where to find us. What are we in the Warlock's Guide to San Fransico?

Phoebe:
Saved by the meow! You know, I don't think I'll ever be able to look at Kit in the same way or get undressed in front of him, for that matter.

Phoebe:
Oops. I think I just killed the warlock again.

Piper:
Phoebe!

Piper:
You know, I don't wanna be one of those old married lepers that nobody thinks if fun anymore.

Prue:
You've never been fun, Piper.

Piper:
I've always been fun, Prue. I am just Mrs. Fun now.

Phoebe:
(Flashback) I'm not sure what my future holds, but it's not in San Francisco. We all know that the only thing I add to this threesome is trouble.

Piper:
Sharp painful implement?

Prue:
Check.

Phoebe:
Ooh! Nice choice.

Piper:
So what is our level of confidence in this plan?

Phoebe:
Well, on a scale from one to ten, ten being we whoop ass, one being he laughs at us while we're on fire and naked...

Piper:
Maybe you should lie to me.

Shadow:
Wait a minute, do you think I am an idiot? You have something up your sleeve.

Phoebe:
Hello, sleeveless!

Piper:
Was that for good?

Prue:
Well, if it wasn't he's really gonna miss his ear, 'cause it looks like part of it's dripping off the clock.

Piper:
Yuck.

Prue:
It'll be just like having your own place.

Phoebe:
Except with your sisters right down the hall!

Prue, Piper, and Phoebe:
Beloved unknown spirit, We seek your guidance, We ask that you commune with us And move amongst us.

Beloved unknown spirit,

We seek your guidance,

We ask that you commune with us

And move amongst us.

Prue, Piper, and Phoebe:
Nine times this evil's cheated death, Felt no pain and kept his breath, This warlock standing in our midst, Let him feel the pain he missed.

Nine times this evil's cheated death,

Felt no pain and kept his breath,

This warlock standing in our midst,

Let him feel the pain he missed.

Phoebe:
Wait a minute, are you telling me you're actually looking for trouble now? Prue, what happened to putting more balance in your life? You know, less wicca wonder, more Prue.

Prue:
Listen, I shot a magazine cover yesterday, I had a date last night and this morning I'm searching for evil. You can't get more balanced than that.

Phoebe:
Right, just your typical everyday cosmo girl!

Phoebe:
Oh my god! It's the coffee maker I wanted.

Prue:
Phoebe it's just the carton.

Phoebe:
Oh. See I need you, you just protected me from making a fool of myself.

Prue:
Now there's a full time job.

Piper:
Leo, you're a genius, what would we do without him?

Prue:
Oh, I dunno. I guess our lives wouldn't be the smooth running carefree existence that they are today.

Prue:
The three of us can handle the box.

Phoebe:
Are you sure?

Prue:
Yes! Go. Although you might want to change into, oh I don't know.. clothes, an actual shirt?

Prue:
A-a-are you drinking in the middle of the day?

Piper:
Well, I was a little bummed about this sin thing, so I thought I deserved a little indulgence. Would you like a bit of bubbly?

Piper:
Oh, no, don't tell me we got infected with those sin thingys.

Phoebe:
My ethics professor threw me out of class.

Prue:
What happened?

Phoebe:
One minute I was telling him why my paper was late, and the next thing I knew I was unzipping his pants with my teeth.

Prue:
Oh, Phoebe. You do know that charming the pants off someone is just a figure of speech, don't you?

Prue:
Unfortunately, what got into you was lust, as in the sin of.

Piper:
What, now you think we were infected?

Prue:
Hello, gluttony, table for one.

Prue:
Everything's under control, don't worry about a thing. I've got it all under control. Hi, he needs medical attention. The Pastor's inside, I kicked his ass. He needs attention too, he's knocked out.

Prue:
Yeah, well, my sin's not nearly as fun as yours.

Phoebe:
Wait, your sin, I thought you didn't get hit.

Prue:
Well, that was the pride talking and it almost got me killed already.

Phoebe:
Pride? You didn't seem all that different.

Prue:
Oh really, well back at ya.

Prue:
Hey! Be nice. I don't want to talk about sin tonight.

Phoebe:
Me neither!

Prue:
So, this is a pretty interesting band. What's their name?

Piper:
Orgy.

Phoebe:
I don't think we're gonna be able to pull this off.

Leo:
We have to.

Prue:
We've been in tighter jams than this before.

Phoebe:
But we're running out of time, I don't think we're gonna make it.

Prue:
Phoebe, we can do this, okay? I mean, if we just get a quick bite to eat at Red's, we can still make the 9:30 Faithless at the Avalon.

Cole:
Save it. You can't stop the brotherhood with a little research and your basic kick, freeze and magical move. No offence intended.

Piper:
Some taken.

Prue:
Alright, look. This whole voting together thing would be really, really cute if it weren't so annoying. I mean, maybe your guys votes should just count as one from now on.

Piper:
Bet you wouldn't mind if we were voting with ya.

Phoebe:
They'll track your shimmer.

Cole:
Not if we meet in the mausoleum. That's the second safest place I know.

Phoebe:
What's the safest?

Cole:
With you.

Piper:
Wait a minute, so Cole is risking his life to maintain stock portfolios?

Piper:
Wouldn't it be nice to save the world at a decent hour?

Piper:
Well, since plan A is going so well, I'd love to hear about plan B...assuming that you have one.

Prue:
I've got part of it, in the freezer.

Piper:
In the freezer? Wait, we're gonna fight the brotherhood with Ben & Jerry's?

Phoebe:
What is that?

Piper:
Demon-Be-Gone.

Leo:
Honey, we don't need a passport to honeymoon in Paris. With a blink of an orb, we can be sipping champagne at the Champs Elysees.

Piper:
Yes, as romantic as you make that sound, I would rather fly Air France, than Air Leo. Just like every other normal newlywed.

Leo:
Well, great, except that we're not.

Piper:
Well, a passport for you could change all that, if I could just find... voila! Birth certificate. (She holds it up.)

Leo:
Where did you get that?

Piper:
From Dan's old file, the one he put together when he was suspicious of you. You remember him, don't ya?

Leo:
Let's see, perfect hair, cleft chin, tried to steal you away from me? Vaguely, vaguely. This isn't gonna work, I was born in 1924.

Piper:
No, you weren't. Okay, off-white background, black ink... Little trick I learned in high school.

Leo:
You're gonna forge my birth certificate.

Piper:
No. Just going to change one little number. (She white outs the number.) So, 1924 becomes 1974. And just like that, you are fifty years younger. (She writes in the seven.) Wait a minute, that makes you 27. That's younger than me. Maybe I should change another number.

Leo:
Piper, this is completely illegal.

Piper:
Yeah? Well, so is marrying a dead guy, okay? Let's not get technical now.

Prue:
(walks into kitchen) Morning. What's up?

Leo:
Oh, probably 3 to 5 years in jail if we're lucky.

Phoebe:
Piper?

Prue:
Uh, okay, was it a demon?

Piper:
No, it was watermelon!

Phoebe:
Honey, why did you vanquish watermelon?

Piper:
I didn't vanquish watermelon. I threw it up in the air and I tried to freeze it and it exploded.

Piper:
I don't know what is up with me. Every time I try to freeze, I flame!

Jenna:
I'm just thrilled to meet you. I mean, I've heard of the Charmed Ones, of course, but I just thought I'd never dream I'd...

Prue:
Nearly die with us? Yes, well, welcome to our lives.

Piper:
Check her out, whipping it up like it's Tollhouse Cookies. Maybe after she fixes Phoebe she could fix me.

Prue:
Piper, you don't need fixing.

Piper:
Uh, if it's taking the Elders this long to tell Leo what's wrong with me, then I definitely need fixing.

Piper:
Leo should have been back by now. It must mean my powers are screwed forever. They're punishing me.

Jenna:
You're a fulfillment of a great prophecy. Why punish you?

Piper:
Oh, forgery. Wanting to have a normal life. Getting pissed off. By next week I'll be walking around like Carrie at the prom.

Prue:
You look like hell.

Cole:
You have no idea.

Piper:
Sorry about knocking you out. Nothing personal.

Prue:
Yeah, well, at least you didn't blow me up.

Piper:
Yeah, I was kinda relieved too.

(Prue pops the attic door open, and she, Piper and Phoebe rush in. While Prue and Piper run to Leo, Phoebe stares at Belthazor.)

Belthazor:
Phoebe ...

Piper:
(bending over Leo) What did you do to him?! (Belthazor changes back into Cole)

Phoebe:
I saw what you did.

Cole:
It's not what it looks like, it wasn't ...

Phoebe:
Janna is dead and Leo is unconscious. What else could it be?

Cole:
Raynor forced me. I had no choice.

Phoebe:
There's always a choice, Cole!

Cole:
(looks at the potion) The potion. (reaches for it, but Phoebe grabs it) Before it's too late ...

Phoebe:
It's already too late. You killed an innocent woman, there is no turning back from that.

Cole:
I didn't wanna kill her, you've gotta understand that. I can still be good.

Phoebe:
There's nothing good in you anymore.

Prue:
Maybe there never was. You have to read the spell to activate the amulets, right? I mean, Cole, maybe that was your plan all along, to get the Book.

Piper:
But evil can't use the amulets or the Book.

Phoebe He could have if he'd stripped his powers. (her voice raising) Is that why you wanted the potion, Cole? So you could get the spell and use the amulets against us?!

Cole:
Phoebe, you've gotta believe me.

Piper:
I think she's believed you one too many times.

Cole:
Stay outta this! This is between her and me.

Phoebe:
There's nothing between us anymore.

Cole:
Phoebe, don't let Raynor take this away from us. Don't let him win.

Phoebe:
Raynor didn't set me up. You set me up. What am I supposed to do?

Cole:
(reaches for the potion) Please, save me.

Phoebe:
Save yourself. (She smashes the potion to the ground. Cole sullenly stares at the sisters, and shimmers out.)

Prue:
For Liza, a lost sister, may her spirit soar.

Piper:
For Jenna, our lost friend, may we meet again.

Phoebe:
For Cole, a lost love, may you find peace.

Leo:
Well, I don't have news but I do have a passport.

Piper:
You went back?

Leo:
Yeh well, I was thinking with everything that's happened and with your new power making life a little crazy.. alright crazier, i figured the least i could do is make it somewhat normal.

Piper:
Are you sure?

Leo:
Anything that it takes to get you on a plane to Paris.

Piper:
Ah, you know what? I think we should wait on that. I wouldn't want to like sneeze at 40,000 feet and have a whole bunch of people explode, that would be bad.

Phoebe:
Well, I'm single again, so I have no choice but to live vicariously through your love life.

Prue:
Wow, I'd pick a better love life if I were you. Lately mine's been rated PG for Pretty Grim.

Phoebe:
That's because nobody makes it past the threshold Prue. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm glad that you're out there looking, but you can't keep saving yourself for Mr. Right. I need more vicarious thrills than that.

Phoebe:
You can't stay down there forever.

Piper:
Yes I can.

Phoebe:
No you can't, you have a club to run and a husband who can't stand to live without you.

Prue:
That's right. And, and two sisters who need you to cook for them and fight evil with them.

Phoebe:
Okay, do you want her to come up or do you want her to stay down there?

Prue:
I think that you're barking up the wrong demon.

Piper:
So what do we do, wear earplugs?

Phoebe:
Oh, she's such a pretty dog.

Piper:
What else did you expect?

Leo:
A Doberman? (Prue growls) Easy!

Piper:
Honey, watch your orbs.

Phoebe:
This is worse than I thought.

Piper:
Prue, no! No-no-no-no, very bad, Prue. Very, very bad Prue.

(Prue growls)

Piper:
Hi, Cujo, who you growling at?

Leo:
Maybe I'd better go check with the Elders, see if they know how to vaquish a banshee.

Phoebe:
Wait a minute, don't tell me you're afraid of Prue.

Leo:
Yeah!!

Piper:
I never imagined anything like this could ever happen to us.

Phoebe:
All I know is this can't go on much longer.

Piper:
So, what we are gonna do?

Phoebe:
Rock paper scissors?

Piper:
No way, you already lost.

Phoebe:
Two out of three!

Piper:
Uh-uh.

Phoebe:
This is so humiliating.

Leo:
Are you okay?

Piper:
Am I okay? Prue is a dog, and Phoebe is a banshee. I am not even in the vicinity of "okay". How did this happen? What am I supposed to do? And, you know, you could have told me about the witches turn into banshees thing a little bit earlier.

Leo:
Honey, just try and relax.

Piper:
Would you stop telling me to relax! [blows up sewing machine] That was Grams's sewing machine...!

Leo:
Well, we don't have time for you to lose it.

Piper:
Well, too bad, because I am losing it whether we have time for it or not.

Leo:
Listen to me, we have to save Phoebe before she hurts anyone. If she kills just one person, she will stay a banshee forever.

Piper:
Okay, could you give me all the bad news at once? Do you have to keep doling it out for dramatic effect?

Leo:
We have to find Phoebe.

Piper:
How, without Prue to track her?

Leo:
We'll find a way. You can do this, Piper.

Piper:
No, actually, I can't. See, 'cause Prue and Phoebe are the superwitches, and I just tag along and freeze things, and now I can't even do that right.

Prue:
What are you doing?

Piper:
I think you've got fleas.

Prue:
You know what, that is so not funny, cause I think I do.

Piper:
I think you do.

Prue:
Okay, you have no idea how hard it was being a dog, okay, I mean, peeing outside, eating everything and anything, and just smelling everything...

Piper:
Must have been ruff! No pun intended.

Prue:
Aha... aha... Well, at least I got to meet a really cute guy.

Piper:
You met a guy?

Prue:
Mmhmm...

Piper:
As a dog?!

Prue:
Mmhmm...

Piper:
How?!

Prue:
Well, he ran me over.

Piper:
Prue and Phoebe are the super witches, and I just tag along and freeze things, and now I can't even do that right.

Piper:
We need your help. Phoebe's been turned into a Banshee.

Cole:
A Banshee? Huh...that's different.

Piper:
Ok, I think we made it. I'm sure we made it. You think we made it?

Prue:
I don't know.

Phoebe:
I think he would attack by now if we haven't.

Dr. Griffiths:
Who? Who would attack? Why don't you tell me what's going on?

Phoebe:
Because we're busy trying to save your life.

Dr. Griffiths:
From who?

Prue:
Ah, unfortunately, we're not pretty sure.

Piper:
That's because Phoebe didn't give us enough time to figure it out.

Phoebe:
Well, I didn't had a lot of time. I mean, I can't conrol how far in the future my prominition take place. I saw the attack, we kicked butt, what more do you want?

Piper:
I'd like to know more about who we're up against.

Prue:
Ok, Phoebe, maybe you should check the Book of Shadows, see you can find anything else about this demonic hitman, ok?

Dr. Griffiths:
Excuse me? Demonic?

Piper:
And how to vanquish him, that will be a good thing to know. And do not exined trap with the Cole potion think. Because the only one we conserve about saving, right now, is our selves.

Prue:
Ah? A, a, a ok...What Cole potion?

Piper:
Ah, he told her that he only kill because some demon cast a spell on him. How naive is that?

Prue:
I thought that she is all over him.

Piper:
Apparently not.

Dr. Griffiths:
What a hell are you talking about? First you tell me my life is in danger, than you adopt me from my work. Now you talk about demons and witches, who the hell are you, people?!

Prue:
Look, I know this all sounds incredible, but it doesn't make it any less true. You are healer, you do good, you saved too many lives or you could save that they don't want you to save.

Dr. Griffiths:
They?

Prue:
Yes, demons, more specifically, Shax, who is the Souce's assassin.

Dr. Griffthis:
Hold on. I get that. This is praticle joke, right? I bet you have hidden camera here. My second wife put you to do this? Ah, just like her.

Prue:
Ah, ok Doctor Griffths, this is anything, but...

Piper:
What?

Prue:
I don't know, i just...felt a chill. Phoebe?

Phoebe:
Alright, alright, I am coming.

Prue:
Phoebe!

Piper:
Phoebe!

Piper:
Ah!

Dr. Griffiths:
Dear God!

Prue:
No!

Piper:
Prue! Ha! Aah.

Dr. Griffiths:
What are you?

Shax:
The end.

Phoebe:
Evil wind that blows, That which forms below, No longer may you dwell, Death takes you with this spell.

Evil wind that blows,

That which forms below,

No longer may you dwell,

Death takes you with this spell.

Phoebe:
Oh, no. Oh, God. Leo! Leo! Hurry, it's bad.

Prue:
Oh.

Piper:
Ahh, what happened?

Leo:
You almost dead, that's what happened.

Piper:
Yeah, what else is new?

Prue:
Oh, where's Shax?

Phoebe:
I tried to use the vanquishing spell on him. But i think i just wounded him, he turn into the wind.

Prue:
Maybe the spell needs more than one witch for full effect. Ah, ok, come on.

Piper:
Come on, come on, where?

Prue:
Let's go find him. So we can finish it off while he still hurt. Look, you just stay here with Griffiths, alright? If Shax come back, say the spell to fend him off. Ok, come on.

Piper:
If you ask me, I think you're being paranoid. We kicked Shax's ass. We bad.

Prue:
You're banking an awful lot on that little potion of yours.

Phoebe:
No, I'm not. I'm banking on Cole.

Piper:
Hello Leo, nice of you to orb in...where've you been?!

Cole:
Phoebe, we tried it up there, it doesn't work for us.

Phoebe:
So where does that leave us?

Cole:
Right where we are.

Piper:
Look at all these interview requests we're getting. Ted Coppell, Time Magazine, Jerry Springer. Sports Illustrated?

Darryl:
Yea, they probably want you for the swimsuit edition. Just kidding.

Prue:
Alright, this thing has to end now, okay? The media is turning it into a freakin' circus.

Leo:
Now you know why the Elders have always been highly concerned about exposure.

Piper:
Okey-dokey, now we know.

Piper:
Okay, so Oprah or Barbara? Barbara makes you cry. We go with Oprah.

Prue:
And you, why don't you go whitelight a fire underneath your bosses' butts.

Piper:
We're gonna do talk shows and book signings and movie deals, and then be taken by the C.I.A. and be dissected.

Prue:
How can you be joking about this?

Piper:
Who's joking?

Prue:
Well, I'm not. Alright, I'm scared. And you should be too. Okay, our lives, Piper, everything that we've worked for could be completely destroyed with-with one stupid mistake. Our entire future , our entire destiny could be wiped out just like that.

Alice:
Hi my name is Alice, Alice Hicks. I've been trying to contact you. I want to join your coven.

Prue:
What are you, nuts? This is our home, get out of here!

Alice:
I killed the wicked witch. The wicked witch is dead!

Prue:
They killed her Leo... they think we're the demons now.

Prue:
I don't know, I felt a chill. Phoebe, are you there? Phoebe, where are you?!

Prue:
No!

Dr. Griffiths:
What are you?

Shax:
The end.