Charmed, Season 4

Phoebe:
Piper?

Piper:
Prue?

Phoebe:
Sweetie, it's four o'clock in the morning, what are you doing? You're bleeding.

Piper:
I don't understand why magic can't fix this. And why we can't bring Prue back. It's not like we haven't cheated death before. I don't understand why this time isn't any different.

Phoebe:
Because Leo can't heal the dead, Piper. You know that.

Piper:
There's other magic, magic that we've used before. It's like the book just deserted us and deserted Prue, and I don't understand why.

Phoebe:
We lost our sister. How can we ever understand that? We have tried every magical way to bring her back. But we can't. She's gone. I just thank God that I didn't lose you too. Now, we have to get some rest, Prue will never forgive us if we look bad at her funeral.

Paige:
I'm so sorry for your lost.

Phoebe:
Thank you. How did you know Prue? From work?

Paige:
No. Just from around. You know...

Phoebe:
Have we met before?

Paige:
No, I don't... I don't think so. Anyway, my condolences.

Phoebe:
Thank you. (She shakes Paige's hand -- then gets hit with a powerful premonition: Paige is on a skyscraper rooftop helipad. She screams as she squeezes her eyes shut in fear as the demon Shax gestures and sends a concessive blast toward her to kill her. She stumbles to the floor after her premonition ends.)

Piper:
Phoebe!

Leo:
Phoebe?

(Piper, Leo, Victor, and Cole rush over to her as Paige, oblivious, but not wanting to stick around, leaves. Leo and Victor help Phoebe stand up.)

Piper:
Are you all right?

Phoebe:
I saw him! The demon that killed Prue.

Leo:
Shax? What was he doing?

Phoebe:
He was killing that girl.

Piper:
What girl?

Phoebe:
The one who I was just talking to. I gotta go find her!

(Bounty Hunters 2 suddenly materialize on either side of Cole and immediately fire lightning bolts at him. Cole dives, just barely avoiding the bolts, which blow up the altar.)

Leo:
Go! Go!

(Leo pulls her behind a pillar for safety. Victor looks on in disbelief. Cole rolls, comes up firing, vanquishing Bounty Hunter #2, but Bounty Hunter #3 appears. Before he can kill Cole, though, Phoebe runs up and knocks him to the ground with an expert martial arts move. She then hides behind a statue.)

Piper:
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Damnit! This is Prue's funeral for God's sake! Can we at least bury her in peace?! Is that too much to ask?!

(She knocks over a vase of flowers. She then storms out in tears.)

Phoebe:
I don't see her anywhere.

Leo:
Who?

Phoebe:
The girl from my preminition.

(A passing mourner, overhearing that, quietly reacts. Leo, seeing that, pulls Phoebe to the main stairs, where they can have some privacy.)

Leo:
Phoebe, you gotta be more careful.

Phoebe:
I'm sorry.

Cole:
You sure don't recognize her from anywhere?

Phoebe:
Well, she did look familiar like I've seen her somewhere before. But somehow, we got to find her before nightfall, or else…

(Phoebe slides a flower vase over an inch, then back again. Cole gently grabs her arm with a concerned look.)

Cole:
Honey, what are you doing?

Phoebe:
Uh, cleaning.

Cole:
But you don't clean. You hate cleaning.

Phoebe:
I know. But it's better than falling apart, right?

Leo:
Maybe you should just try and focus on a girl, you said she was attacked on a rooftop?

Phoebe:
Yeah, one with the helipad. But it wasn't a tall building, although, there were a lot of taller ones around it.

Leo:
Okay, so we just need to figure out which building it was before Shax does.

Piper:
And do what exatly? You can't defeat Shax, not without the Power of Three.

Phoebe:
But you and Prue did.

Piper:
That's because Prue was the strongest. Trying to do without her will be suicide.

Phoebe:
Maybe so. But I got that premonition today for a reason, Piper. That girl is our innocent. So we have to try and save her.

Piper:
Says who?! Why do we have to?

Leo:
Piper...

Piper:
What? Do you really expect us to keep doing this stuff, after what happened, to keep risking our lives?! Do they?!

Leo:
Piper, keep your voice down...

Piper:
No, Leo, I won't! I don't want to do this anymore, okay? It's over! You can tell them we buried their precious Charmed Ones when we buried our sister.

Piper:
Grams!

Grams:
Hello, my darling. How are you?

Piper:
How am I? Are you kidding? Do you guys not get the news up there?

Grams:
I meant... How are you holding up?

Piper:
Not very well. I'm a little...lost. Why didn't you come before when I called after...?

Grams:
I couldn't, Piper. I was... busy.

Piper:
You were busy?

Grams:
I was with Prue.

Piper:
Oh, of course you were, that makes sense. Is she okay?

Grams:
Your mother and I are helping her through this.

Piper:
But how is she?

Grams:
I'm not allow to tell you now, just like you're not allow to see her. At least not for a while, anyway.

Piper:
Why?

Grams:
Because seeing Prue right now, speaking to her, keeps her alive for you. Which keeps you from being able to move on with your life... to continue your destiny.

Piper:
What destiny?! Okay, it's over, it's done, Prue is gone, and I...

Grams:
I know, sweetie, I know. But if there's one thing you learned over the last three years it's that there's always a reason for everything. Which means, there's a reason for this, too. Your destiny still awaits. Blessed be.

Piper:
I'm not angry. I am pissed off! Don't you understand? You healed the wrong sister! You saved me because I'm your damn wife, and you should've saved her because she was the best! Because she... you should... Why did they put us through so much for it to end this way?

Piper:
She's been there my whole life. I've always had a big sister. And I don't know how to live without one.

Paige:
Oh, never mind. It's boring. All right, but if I tell you all about Paige and you use it against me, I will get out my voodoo doll and make you sorry you're a man. So my sad story is that I'm adopted, only it's not so sad because I loved my parents, God rest. So after they died, I went searching for my birth mother, hoping to get some answers. I went to the police station, found the church where I was dumped at… I checked around. I figured she must've lived near here, you know? They even thought I might've been… related to the Halliwell sisters for a minute, but their Mom died a long time ago, so I gave up on that.

Shane:
Well, did you ever meet the sisters, ask them about it or…

Paige:
Yeah right. "Hi. I think your Mom might've abandoned me at birth. What's for dinner?" No. I don't think so.

Phoebe:
Hey, you okay?

Piper:
Yeah, sure, why not? We could have another funeral tomorrow. I mean, all the dishes are out, and we pretty much know who to invite.

Phoebe:
Piper...

Piper:
Just tell me one thing. Are you insane or are you just plain stupid. We bury Prue this morning and you go off tonight and nearly join her. What the hell is the matter with you?!

Phoebe:
I was trying to save the innocent.

Piper:
No. You were trying to get yourself killed, which is what this family does best is get killed. Isn't it obvious by now that our only destiny is to die? And you are making it way too easy for them, Phoebe. You are just walking right into it!

Phoebe:
I am so sorry.

Piper:
I can not handle anything right now and I certainly cannot handle losing another sister.

(finding out that there is a possibility that the Charmed Ones can be reconstituted following Prue's death, Piper furiously marches up to the attic)

Phoebe:
What's going on?

Piper:
I'm going to ask Grams what's going on, actually.

Phoebe:
Grams?

Piper:
Mm-hmm! Your destiny still awaits, she says. There's a reason for everything, she says. So now it's time to summon her transparent butt back here and find out exactly what that reason is!

Phoebe:
Okay, but what would...

Piper:
(tensely reciting the spell, interrupting Phoebe loudly) Hear these words, hear my cry, spirit from the other side. Come to me, I summon thee, (angrily) cross now the Great DIVIDE!

Grams:
Piper, why are you calling? Phoebe? What's going on?

Patty:
It happened after your father and I were divorced, when Sam and I were together.

Cole:
Sam?

Leo:
Her whitelighter.

Cole:
Hmm. Apples don't fall far from the forbidden tree, I see.

Piper:
Shh!

Grams:
Alright, fine, You've caught us, congratulations! So what are you going to do about us, shoot us?

Phoebe:
Easy, Grams! Not all of us are dead, remember?

Cole:
And I thought my family was screwed up.

Phoebe:
...We call the spirits to help undo and send him off to… Timbuktu! Woah, it worked!

Piper:
Timbuktu? You sent him to Timbuktu?!

Phoebe:
It was the only thing I could think of that rhymed with 'undo'.

Piper:
Yeah, I'm angry, um, I'm confused, and you know what, this, this is just crazy! You cannot float in here after all these years and go, 'Oh gosh, I forgot, by the way, you've got a sister!' Especially NOT today of all days!

Phoebe:
It's not enough. Shax was just the messenger. We need to get The Source.

Paige:
The Source of what?

Piper:
Of All Evil.

Leo:
It's kind of hard to heal myself when I'm knocked out.

Phoebe:
Leo, how is possible for an angel to even get knocked out? I mean, you are, after all, technically dead.

Leo:
Three years together, and now you're asking these questions?

Phoebe:
Well…

Piper:
I think the more appropriate question is, how does a whitelighter get somebody knocked up?

Phoebe:
Sister witch.

Piper:
Half-witch, half-whitelighter. Let's not forget that little surprise.

Paige:
Let's just say, when I wanted to find out who I was, I didn't want to find out I was a freak.

Mr. Cowan:
This is none of your business. You're an assisstant, not a social worker.

Paige:
That's because you're too cheap to make me one.

Phoebe:
So, perhaps the whitelighter in her makes it work differently.

Piper:
Half breed.

Piper:
I guess blood's a little thicker than evil.

Phoebe:
Why did you come to Prue's funeral? I mean, you never even met her right?

Paige:
No, I never did. I don't want this to be taken the wrong way, but, I just feel like part of me lost her too. I just.. I felt drawn to her, to all you guys. I guess it was just part of me trying to find out who I was.

Piper:
Okay, turn left up here. And can you step on the gas a little?

(makes a sharp turn and almost collides with a taxi cab.)

Phoebe:
Off the gas! Off the gas!

Cole:
Does somebody else want to drive here?

Phoebe:
Two witches and a half-a-demon does not the power of three make.

Leo:
Piper, I can't help you unless you talk to me.

Piper:
It hurts to talk, Leo... it hurts to breathe...so unless you know some way of how to bring Prue back, I don't wanna talk right now.

Phoebe:
Instead of teaching Paige how to be a witch, we're out hunting for every Tom, Dick and Beelzebub in San Francisco.

Cole:
If it's the Source, I'll just ask him to come back later.

Phoebe:
Piper, Cole's right. We have a system for fighting demons and it's worked pretty well for the last three years.

Piper:
I think, uh, Prue being killed counts as a pretty big glitch in the system.

Cole:
She has no regard for her life, or anyone else's. She's Charles Bronson cubed.

Leo:
I said I'd talk to her.

Phoebe:
Guys, guys. Who is Charles Bronson?

(Leo and Cole look at each other incredulously)

Phoebe:
Never mind.

Piper:
Evil got the Book of Shadows. How did evil get the Book of Shadows?

Phoebe:
Oh no.

Piper:
Oh no, Phoebe? Evil got the Book of Shadows, 'oh no' doesn't quite cover it.

Cole:
Let me go see what I can find out... (stopped by Phoebe)

Phoebe:
No, wait... Uh, Piper? Promise me you're not gonna over-react.

Piper:
Is that even possible?

Phoebe:
I think that, uh, maybe... (gulps) well, it might-might be feasible that, uh, (takes in a deep breath) Paige... borrowed the book.

Piper:
What? Why-why... why... Why would you think that?!

Phoebe:
See, now, this is what I meant by over-reacting, it's just that I...

Cole:
You let Paige take the Book of Shadows out of the manor.

Phoebe:
Well, no, I did not let her! It's just she left pretty quick and... it looks like she might've... (points to the open attic window)

Piper:
Out of the window?!

Phoebe:
Piper, I...

Piper:
Phoebe, why would you even leave her alone with it?!

Phoebe:
Well, because she's our sister.

Piper:
(chuckles, then stops abruptly) Not for long! (stalks out)

(Phoebe follows Piper out of the door, only to return again to Cole, who is sitting on a chair)

Phoebe:
Aren't you coming?

Cole:
To vanquish your sister? (scoffs lightly) I think I'll sit this one out.

(Phoebe leaves while Cole twiddles his thumbs.)

Piper:
You are so... (notices Paige's overlarge breasts) busted?!

Phoebe:
Woo... hello!

Piper:
You stole our sacred book, so you could perform magical plastic surgery on yourself?

Piper:
What happened?!

Paige:
I don't know, they just... grew.

Piper:
(as Phoebe scoffs) Oh, right, and-and you had nothing to do with that.

Phoebe:
Did you cast any spells?

Paige:
One... (reluctantly after a pause) Five...

Piper:
Five?!

Phoebe:
Okay, what did you do just before you turned into Betty Boop?

Paige:
Tell her, Piper. It's all right to hate her.

(Piper shakes her head once and turns to leave, angrily pulling against chained doors.)

Paige:
You should hate her. When my parents died, I hated them. I was alone, and I hated them. It is okay to hate Prue!

Piper:
(seemingly to Paige) How dare you! (suddenly turns and begins to beat her hands against Prue's gravestone) How dare you leave me! How could you go and die and leave me here all alone, please come back! I need you, please come back... (breaks down sobbing while turning back human)

Leo:
It's okay, it's gonna be okay, honey.

Piper:
It's not 'okay', she risked her life every day and she never thought about what would happen to me and Phoebe if she was gone.

Leo:
I know...

Piper:
How could she think... that I could live without her?

Piper:
So, how scary was I?

Phoebe:
Heck, I've seen worse. I've been worse.

Piper:
With everything that happens in our lives, love just feels like an invitation for more pain.

Phoebe:
Well... maybe you don't start with love. Maybe you just start with 'thanks'.

Piper:
(noticing Paige's scratch) You know, Leo could fix that for you.

Paige:
It's my first war wound, think I'll wear it with pride.

Paige:
It'll never be okay that she's gone, Piper. But I promise it will get better.

Piper:
Paige, there are rules to being a witch, rules that you will have to learn and follow.

Paige:
Well, not to be difficult, but... you're married to our Whitelighter and Phoebe's shacking up with a demon. So, on balance, maybe my friend could stay cute?

Mr. Cowan:
My, my, my. That pile looks about the same size as it did about an hour ago.

Piper:
Oh, that was my fault. I distracted her with muffins.

Mr. Cowan:
And you are?

Piper:
I'm her sister.

Piper:
Okay. After mixing your potions, what's the best method to preserve unused sea slugs for future use? A) Pickle them, B) Sugar them, C) Smoke them, D) Freeze dry them.

Paige:
Well now, you see, if I had extra sea slugs, I'd let those little suckers go right on back into the ocean.

Piper:
Paige, don't be make me the wicked witch of the northwest. I didn't ask for this big sister gig and frankly it sucks. But since I'm on a roll, you should get rid of that lollipop habit because it's going to rot your teeth.

Paige:
Next up, some powered toadstool. Bam! Let's kick it up one more notch.

Leo:
Whoa, what are you doing?

Paige:
You know, just preparing for the Source.

Leo:
Oh, is he coming over for dinner?

Mason:
He said that if he doesn't hurry up and make you a social worker, you'll probably quit and start your own agency. That or end up in jail. He wasn't sure which.

Piper:
I smell something witchy.

Paige:
My God, what did you have for dinner?

Phoebe:
Kung Pao Chicken. Sorry.

Yun Lo:
Oh, it's you... black belt Barbie.

Leo:
Well, here comes your personal trainer from hell.

Piper:
Literally.

Phoebe:
So what's on our training shedule today? light sabers?

Piper:
Okay, well like it or not, there have been a lot of changes lately, and this is hardly the biggest.

Phoebe:
Ooh, speak of the devil/whitelighter/witch.

Phoebe:
It's not fair, you shouldn't carry the financial burden.

Piper:
I will worry about the source of our income, if you worry about the Source of all evil.

Phoebe:
Damn it! I am only going to say this once, the real world better start showing me some respect otherwise I'm going to stop saving it every week!

Leo:
What happened?

Phoebe:
I just had the worst job interview for a position that a monkey could fill, provided that the monkey could explain why it needed flexible work hours.

Piper:
It's okay, P3 doesn't exist anymore.

Piper:
Are you siding with Paige now?

Leo:
Hey, there's no sides. And, yes.

Piper:
Do not go into that house. Did you hear me? I said do not go in. It is like talking to a wall!

Leo:
She's got the Halliwell hearing.

Piper:
Well, speaking for my Great Aunt Sylvia, who collect Hummells. When they have a hard time dealing with real people, figurines can be their best friends.

Leo:
Yeah, but being socially awkward doesn't land you in the Book of Shadows.

Piper:
Well then we need to find Paige, and hope that she's not in trouble, so we can find Phebe and hope that she's not in trouble.

Bouncer:
Hold it! You can't go in there.

Piper:
Excuse me?

Bouncer:
It's the VIP area.

Piper:
Oh! You're assuming because I'm not tall, tattooed, or big breasted that I'm not important. That's a bad assumption see, 'cos I own this club which makes me a V.V.VIP!

Claudia:
Oh, my gosh. How did you do that?

Phoebe:
The Power of Three.

Piper:
The Power of point-Three.

Leo:
Okay, well then there's just one more thing that we need to tie up.

Piper:
Oh, okay.

Phoebe:
Uh, Leo what are you looking for?

Leo:
Something very important.

Paige:
Broken glass?

Leo:
Broken glass that needs healing. Here it is. It's up to you.

Piper:
Can you do it? Well, then do it. It looks like P3's back.

Piper, Phoebe, and Paige:
Small of mind, Big of woe, The pain you caused, You now will know.

Small of mind,

Big of woe,

The pain you caused,

You now will know.

Piper:
Oh, he's way too big for my tiny magic.

Phoebe:
Look at me. I look like a drowned rat! I need my blow dryer.

Piper:
Pretend you're camping.

Phoebe:
I hate camping.

Piper:
Phoebe, we can't just schedule vanquishes. Okay, demon attacks don't usually fit into the day planners.

Glen:
Can't you just be a little late?

Paige:
I already am a little late.

Glen:
Can't you be a lot late?

Leo:
Yeah, she's home... She's just a little, indisposed at the moment.

Piper:
Wait, you watch? What are you, like a peeping angel?

Leo:
Wha.. I didn't see anything

Piper:
Ahh

Leo:
Alright just a little but how else am i supposed to protect her

Phoebe:
But we could do something about it if we were together, you know, if we lived together 'cos that's when we're the strongest. What do you say?

Paige:
Are you two out of your freakin' minds?

Piper:
Don't people storm out of the house when they're angry...?

Phoebe:
The Evil Enchantress?

Paige:
That's it! That's the evil witch, the one who kills the Prince, after he gets her pregnant, of course.

Piper:
Of course!

Paige:
Bring together my Prince and me, Let him fall on bended knee, I summon him to my side, That he may take me to be his destined bride.

Bring together my Prince and me,

Let him fall on bended knee,

I summon him to my side,

That he may take me to be his destined bride.

Paige:
Piper, do that thing you do.

Piper:
I don't wanna blow him up.

Paige:
Well risk it, he's using his tongue!

Piper:
Paige! The Charmed Ones come first!

Phoebe:
The Charmed Ones come first?

Piper:
It always worked when Prue said it.

Phoebe:
He's wandering around in chain mail?

Piper:
It's San Francisco. No one will notice.

Piper:
So why is Sir Lust-a-Lot after you?

Paige:
How should I know?

Piper:
Well, because it's your damn fairy tale and it's alive and frozen in our kitchen.

Leo:
This is who you are Paige, you know that. Why are you running from it?

Paige:
Oh gee, I don't know. Being hunted by the Source, ducking the Furies and being shrunk by a psycho demon, not to mention being chased after by a bedtime story. I don't know why I wouldn't want the rest of my life to be just like that.

Piper:
Leo, we are up to our pointy little hats in demonic problems here!

Prince:
I will not leave until you are with child.

Paige:
Okay, a) I always use protection and b) You're a fairy tale! Just keep that sword of yours sheathed pal.

Phoebe:
Defiant, clever, and independent. That kind of describes Paige, don't you think?

Piper:
Yeah, along with stubborn, stubborn, and more stubborn.

Phoebe:
What if Paige was the Evil Enchantress once upon a time?

Leo:
What the hell happened here?

Phoebe:
Paige's past life almost killed us. That's what happened here.

Prince:
Just tell me what you want and I will give it to you, I swear.

Paige:
Can you make me as good as Prue was?

Paige:
Does this mean I'm evil?

Piper:
Yeah.

Phoebe:
No.

Piper:
No.

(Paige gets in her car. The Enchantress walks down the street. Paige tries to run her over, but the Enchantress repels her car with a blast of wind, popping a tire. Paige gets out.)

Evil Enchantress:
Don't tell me I become good in the future.

Paige:
Damn good. (She pulls the potion out of her purse and throws it, but the Enchantress destroys it with lightning.)

Evil Enchantress:
And here I was, so looking forward to meeting myself. (she blows Paige backward with a blast of wind, knocking her into the car)

Piper:
What are we supposed to do, go back to the Middle Ages or the Dark Ages, or whatever the hell ages those are?

Evil Enchantress:
How did you get here?

Paige:
I'm Charmed.

Evil Enchantress:
Not for long.

Piper:
Leo!

Phoebe:
I thought you were a pacifist.

Leo:
I didn't kill him, did I?

Piper:
I gotta tell you, I find this side of you very sexy.

Leo:
Really?

Piper:
Yeah.

Phoebe:
You've been holding out on us.

Piper:
And they lived happily ever after.

Phoebe:
Yeah right!

Piper, Phoebe, and Paige:
Vanquish, we three witches cry, One final shock and then you die.

Vanquish, we three witches cry,

One final shock and then you die.

Prince:
Why do you run from me?

Paige:
Why are you chasing me?

Prince:
Becuase we're meant to be together

Paige:
That is not true! Does this look like King Arthur's court buddy?

Prince:
It doesn't matter, we're meant to conceive an heir my love

Paige:
Stop saying that!

Phoebe:
You guys want some privacy?

Paige:
This is not funny!

Phoebe:
You're changing the subject.

Piper:
No, I'm ignoring you.

Phoebe:
Generations of Halliwells have fought demons and had kids. It didn't stop them, why should it stop you?

Piper:
Did it ever occur to you that maybe this is none of your business?

Phoebe:
Oh, that's besides the point.

Cole:
(quietly) What's not supposed to be here?

(Piper notices a chair in the observatory and blows it up.)

Phoebe:
Piper, I think that was Paige's chair.

Piper:
(satisfactorily) Yeah, I know, it was ugly.

Paige:
What the hell happened?

Piper:
The freakin' furniture just attacked!

Piper:
Evil hiding in plain sight, I use this spell with all my might, to stop your changing form and shape, this vanquish deals your fate.

Orderly:
It doesn't really rhyme does it? Sorry.

Piper:
I'm gonna be sooo happy when I vanquish your sorry ass.

Piper:
Let go of me so I can blow him up. I'm gonna blow you up!

Piper:
Leo! Leo!

Paige:
Will you stop with the Leo Leo, you're driving me crazier than I already am.

Phoebe:
Ahh!

Piper:
What? What is it? What did you see?

Phoebe:
I saw the back of my eyelids, what do you think I saw?

Paige:
Hurry up, looney tunes, get me outta here.

Phoebe:
Sorry...had to grab my broom.

Piper:
For what?

Phoebe:
Well for flying, silly.

Phoebe:
(jumps on broomstick) Another innocent to save!

Paige:
Got milk? Ooh, don't think so.

Phoebe:
& Paige: Life to life and mind to mind, Our spirits now will intertwine. We meld our souls and journey to, The one whose thoughts we wish we knew.

Life to life and mind to mind,

Our spirits now will intertwine.

We meld our souls and journey to,

The one whose thoughts we wish we knew.

Phoebe:
I think it worked.

Paige:
Either that or we're in Mary Poppins' head.

Piper:
From whence they came, Return them now, Vanish the words, Vanish our powers.

From whence they came,

Return them now,

Vanish the words,

Vanish our powers.

Piper:
Are you really my husband?

Leo:
Yes.

Piper:
And that would make you two really my sisters?

Phoebe:
Whether you like it or not!

Paige:
What do you say we click our heels and get out of this crazy joint. No offense.

Phoebe:
Is something wrong.

Piper:
No. Everything is just right.

Paige:
Except my chair...

Piper:
Yeah... which, ummm, I'll actually pay to replace.

Paige:
Oh God no. It's not your fault. (Paige pauses) Or is it?

Piper:
Actually, yeah... it is. I was just upset that there was yet another demon in our house, in our lives. And I know I should stop fighting it and just accept it, but...

Paige:
Nah. It wasn't my favorite chair. Besides, it is kinda good to know I am not the only one who struggles with the idea of being a witch.

Phoebe:
No, trust me, you are in good company.

Leo:
Well, the good news is that you won't have to deal with the Source anytime soon, because Cole hurt him pretty bad.

Cole:
Not bad enough though, he'll be back.

Phoebe:
So. (Rubs her hands up and down Cole's chest) He's gone for now. First time in a long time. Maybe we should take advantage of that.

Cole:
(Pulls Phoebe up against him) Why Ms. Haliwell, are you trying to seduce me?

Phoebe:
Always.

Piper:
Ewwww...

(Phoebe and Cole race up the stairs laughing)

Paige:
Okay... I'm just going to go to the store and get some milk or something...

(Paige leaves)

Leo:
(to Piper) You sure you're okay?

Piper:
Yeah. I mean, I'm never going to stop wanting a normal life, but I think that's the one thing that actually keeps me sane.

Leo:
Well, you deserve a normal life Piper. We both do. And maybe we'll get that once we banish the Source once and for all.

Piper:
And who knows. Maybe one day I could have a baby shower of my own. What do you think?

Leo:
Well in that case...

(Leo picks Piper up and cradles her in his arms)

Piper:
Oh!

Leo:
Need to practice a little.

Piper:
Leo!

Paige:
So I hear you and Leo are thinking about having a baby.

Piper:
Where did you hear that from?

Paige:
From Phoebe. Oh, did I just break some sort of sister confidentiality clause?

Piper:
No, you didn't. And no, we are not. Keep flipping.

Phoebe:
We have to stop meeting like this.

Cole:
Marry me.

Phoebe:
What?

Paige:
You were a demon and a lawyer? Insert joke here.

Sykes:
Belthazor, we meet at last.

Belthazor:
But not for long.

Phoebe:
What do you want?

Sykes:
The same thing you do, only I call him Belthazor.

Phoebe:
Well, just because you're not a demon anymore doesn't mean we can't live in sin.

Paige:
A demon who likes to kill witches. Well, that narrows it down to about every page in the book.

Piper:
We have one clue. We know he likes to use an athame.

Paige:
How does that help?

Piper:
Well, it means he has hands. Keep flipping.

Phoebe:
Where are you going?

Piper:
P3

Phoebe:
At 9 in the morning, don't club kids sleep in?

Piper:
Corporate party, big money, total nightmare.

Phoebe:
Uh, what if there's an attack?

Piper:
At 9am? Don't demons sleep in?

Piper:
Great, well, I say the only good Source is a dead Source.

Paige:
Who's going to kill us?

Piper:
No one.

Paige:
That's new.

Paige:
Who's attacking us?

Piper:
No one.

Paige:
Right on, I get the weekend off.

Piper:
See now that is the spirit.

Phoebe:
So, I was thinking, since you're the potions master, isn't there something you could whip up? Some kind of protection potion, maybe?

Piper:
Pheebs, if there was such a thing as a protection potion we'd be mixing it in our morning coffee.

Phoebe:
This is perfect. We need a theme. You're an artistic, creative type.

Paige:
A theme?

Phoebe:
Yeah, I'll explain on the way. Us theme, you potion.

Piper:
Me peeved, you annoying.

Phoebe:
Being of creativity, Show yourself now to me, Your light which shines upon our face, Let our vision now embrace.

Being of creativity,

Show yourself now to me,

Your light which shines upon our face,

Let our vision now embrace.

Piper:
Now that I know what we're up against I can practically taste the potion. I don't know what it does, but it tastes pretty good.

Piper:
I'm making this up as I go along, so power surge or no, you're going to have to be patient. Just like you're going to have to be patient on the marriage front.

Cole:
I don't think that's any of your business.

Leo:
You don't know sisters very well, do you?

Leo:
Okay, so what exactly are you doing now?

Phoebe:
Basking in the brilliance of our failure.

Phoebe:
It's about good versus evil, and wrong versus right, and our job as witches to fight the good fight.

Piper:
Dr. Seuss, is that you?

Piper, Phoebe, and Paige:
Evil is a faithful foe, But good does battle best, We witches will, With these words, Waste the warlocks evil zest.

Evil is a faithful foe,

But good does battle best,

We witches will,

With these words,

Waste the warlocks evil zest.

Piper, Phoebe, Paige:
Being of creativity, Hide yourself now from me, Your light that shines upon our face, From our vision now erase.

Being of creativity,

Hide yourself now from me,

Your light that shines upon our face,

From our vision now erase.

Phoebe:
Okay, you guys, we have a warlock to catch. And I know were beaten, and I know we're tired, but that does not mean we can just lay down and play dead.

Piper:
I don't think we're gonna have to play.

Cole:
I went from all powerful demon to mere mortal overnight.

Phoebe:
You are not mere. Baby, you are anything but mere.

Cole:
Next to the Charmed Ones, I'm a potted plant.

Phoebe:
Am I the world's biggest bitch or what?

Piper:
Nah, too easy.

Leo:
No, Clyde ignores them. There's only one way to get Clyde down here. (to Clyde) Clyde! Get your butt down here you fetid worm from the bog of eternal stench! [to Piper] You gotta make him mad. [to Clyde] Your mother was a chunky substance from a gin cesspool! And she smelled bad too!

Phoebe:
(to paige) You haven't told us and we've been dying to know. What happened in your past?

Paige:
I found out that I wasn't responsible for the accident.

Piper:
Of course you weren't.

(Paige looks sad.)

Phoebe:
Then what's wrong?

Paige:
It just makes me sad that my parents will never see us, or what I've become.

Leo:
Actually, that's not quite true.

(Paige's adopted parents appear in the dining holding hands.)

Piper:
Uh, Leo?

Leo:
Let's just say that I owe Clyde now.

Paige's Mom:
We know who you are honey, what you've become.

Paige's Dad:
We've been with you every step of the way and we're so proud of you sweetheart.

(Paige hugs her parents.)

Phoebe:
Can you take us back to meet John Lennon?

Leo:
Rough ride. You okay?

Paige:
Yeh. I'm alright.. I'm all wrong! I'm so scrooged, I was meant to come back as a ghost, not a ghost with braces.

Piper:
Darryl, I'm sorry, but what do you want me to say? My sister was just possessed with a supernaturally born killer and my husband is in 1994, and I do not mean in the fashion sense. He time traveled back with my other sister so the only one left to help me is you.

Darryl:
Gee. Thanks.

Piper:
First they're all over each other at the manor, then they steal a ring and now a wedding dress? Frankie and Lulu's unfinished business isn't criminal, it's matrimonial. They wanna get married!

Darryl:
Do you people have any normal weddings in your family?

(Paige heads for the exploded car her parents were in. Leo runs over and grabs her. She screams.)

Paige:
Let go of me! I have to save them!

Leo:
They're gone.

Paige:
Why did you bring me back here! Why! I though I could stop the accident!

Leo:
You couldn't stop the accident because it was never your fault.

Paige:
It was my fault. It was my fault.

Leo:
They would have died anyway, it was their destiny. Just like it was your destiny to be saved by magic.

Paige:
That's how I got out of the car. I orbed out.

Leo:
That's right.

Paige:
I could always orb?

Leo:
Magic's always been inside of you. It saved you because you were meant to do great things with it, and you have, and you will. This is what you came back here to find, what caused the accident, why you survived it. You need to forgive yourself.

Paige:
But it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, they'll never know how much I love them. They'll never know what good parents they were.

Phoebe:
Uhm, If you'll put your nose any deeper into that coffee cup, you're gonna need a snorkel. What do you know?

Phoebe:
I can't sleep because I miss Cole too much. If he doesn't come home soon, I'm going to turn into a vampire.

Paige:
Jokes like that in this house, not so funny.

Piper:
I don't think you understand..

Paige:
I understand that I also pay rent here!

Piper:
There is no rent.

Paige:
It's an expression.

Piper:
No it's not!

Paige:
Well it should be!

Juror:
Hey, I got a premonition. We'll be outta here in time for lunch.

Piper:
Look out Nancy Drew coming through!

Paige:
Let mind and body soar, To heights not reached before, Let limits stretch, That you may catch, A new truth to explore.

Let mind and body soar,

To heights not reached before,

Let limits stretch,

That you may catch,

A new truth to explore.

Phoebe:
I'm gonna need a few things. A sage stick, five white candles and...

Juror:
A magic wand.

Phoebe:
No, incense. I'm gonna summon the dead.

Juror:
Ooooh.

Paige:
Aah!

Piper:
What, demons you can handle, but not rats? Aah!

Paige:
Right back at you.

Phoebe:
What are you doing?

Juror:
Looking for wires. This is some kind of trick.

Phoebe:
Did you find any?

Piper:
I don't think it's a good idea if your boyfriend stays here.

Paige:
He's not my boyfriend. Sometimes he's my boyfriend, but mostly he's just my really good friend.

Paige:
You can trust Glen. He's been my friend since, God, kindergarten.

Piper:
You haven't been a witch since kindergarten. I don't think you understand.

(Piper, Phoebe, Leo and Paige are talking about a murder case. Glen walks in.)

Leo:
Hey, there, Glen!

Piper:
What did you hear?

Glen:
Excuse me?

Phoebe:
She said what are you doing here?!

(Paige and Glen head for the kitchen.)

Phoebe:
Is he staying here?

Piper:
Mm-hmm.

Phoebe:
I think you need to talk to her.

Piper:
I did, and apparently I was the only one paying attention.

Phoebe:
What good is being a witch if I can't just twitch my nose and make the laundry fold itself.

Cole:
Which witch can do that?

Phoebe:
Samantha Stevens. From Betwitched.

Cole:
I'm getting more human by the day. What would you say if I became really human, and got a job?

Phoebe:
If thats the criteria for being really human then I am in big trouble.

Cole:
Phoebe we're hardly typical. I proposed to you under a hail of demon goo and you accepted while I was bleeding to death.

Phoebe:
It's just, becoming a wife. I mean, I like Samantha but I never actually wanted to become her. See, Samantha, she was married to a human, Darren. Darren completely suppressed Samantha's magic, completely denied who she was. And it wasn't because he didn't love her, it was just that's the way it had to be.

Cole:
And this was one of your favourite shows?

Phoebe:
She went from being Samantha to Mrs. Darren Stevens overnight.

Cole:
Well, that won't happen to you.

Phoebe:
Won't it?

Cole:
No. You'll become Mrs. Cole Turner.

Cole:
Miss Phoebe Halliwell, I come to you, a man, nothing more, nothing less, to ask, will you be my wife?

Phoebe:
Hmm.. Yeah, I will, again.

Paige:
Urgh, the sun came up again.

Phoebe:
Good morning sunshine, let me pour you a cup of coffee. Notice anything different about me?

Piper:
Engagement ring. Notice it or wear coffee.

Leo:
It's a lot for any child to deal with. Plus ours will be doublely magical, half-whitelighter, half-witch.

Paige:
Hey, that's like me! Oh...you might have some trouble.

Phoebe:
And Paige, thank you so much for getting him this job. I mean especially now that we're going to be married and he's gonna have to get used to bringing home the bacon.

Paige:
Since when does Phoebe care about bacon?

Leo:
I'm sure she meant all breakfast meats.

Piper:
You know what? Don't make our issues his issues. I think you need to give him a chance to learn how to control it. Maybe that's why we met him. To teach him, guide him.

Phoebe:
Feed him.

Paige:
Wow, Phoebe, you went all out.

Phoebe:
Oh, well, you know me. Any excuse to spend a little extra time in the kitchen.

Piper:
I do know you and that's just not true.

Phoebe:
Oh, but it is now that I'm going to be Sadie, Sadie, married lady.

Piper:
Alright, Sadie, how about I take the cookies to the kid.

Leo:
Phoebe, are you feeling alright?

Phoebe:
Peachy keen.

Phoebe:
(sung to the tune of Jingle Bells.) I'm making soup for Cole. He'll eat it in a bowl. I guess that's my new role, just making soup for Cole.

Phoebe:
Oh honey, what will you do?

Cole:
Well, I dunno, I'm still searching for who I am. But we know who you are, which is a demon-fighting, ass-kicking witch who never lets her sisters down. So get out of that bathtub and show me what you're made of!

(Phoebe stands up and flahes black and white.)

Phoebe:
Better?

Paige:
Hey, Cole, how's your progress going on... Oh God, full frontal Phoebe! Sorry.

Cole:
She just flashed.

Paige:
Yeah, I got that!

Cole:
No, no, I mean she just flashed black and white.

Piper:
Stand back.

(Piper keeps trying to blow up the spell-protected gates and succeeds on the third time.)

Phoebe:
What was that?

Paige:
I think you just saw a mother lift a car off her child.

Piper, Phoebe, and Paige:
The brittle winter Gives way to flowers of spring, Ludlow is vanquished.

The brittle winter

Gives way to flowers of spring,

Ludlow is vanquished.

Phoebe:
What the hell was that?

Paige:
A Haiku, I couldn't do the rhyming thing.

Piper:
Paige, you coming?

Paige:
Can't. I have to go to that evil place where they keep my paycheck.

Piper:
A demon? What kind of demon?

Phoebe:
One with a half a face.

Piper:
Yuck!!

Phoebe:
Oh honey, are you still on that Last Will and Testament kick? I gotta tell you, it's very very morbid.

Piper:
No, it's very very responsible. Prue did it, and thank God she did 'cause if she didn't we'd still be dealing with lawyers. No offense.

Cole:
Oh, none taken. I've come to terms with my evil past.

Cole:
Well, one step at a time. First we vanquish the Source, then we'll worry about putting Pandora back in it's box.

The Seer:
Even now I can see the void where your demon half used to exist, it craves to be complete again.

Paige:
Oh, my God!

The Source:
Not quite.

The Source:
Say hello to Prue for me.

Paige:
I don't understand, if we got our powers back, where did the Source go?

The Seer:
Into the void.

Phoebe:
For Prue.

Piper:
For Prue.

Leo:
What do you say we go home and get started on our future?

Piper:
What do you say we go home and sleep, and we work on that future tomorrow night.

Piper, Phoebe, and Paige:
Prudence, Penelope, Patricia, Melinda, Astrid, Helena, Laura and Grace, Halliwell witches stand strong beside us, Vanquish this evil from time and space.

Prudence, Penelope, Patricia, Melinda,

Astrid, Helena, Laura and Grace,

Halliwell witches stand strong beside us,

Vanquish this evil from time and space.

Piper:
Maybe you're right, maybe you do need the book. What good is being a witch if you can't use a little magic when you're hurting.

Phoebe:
I cannot believe that you're suggesting that. What about personal gain?

Piper:
Well, just word the spell properly, avoid it. You should know how to do it by now. Just be pure, ask your heart for the answer. Just don't tell Paige, I just don't want her thinking she can do it too.

Paige:
I hate it when you're right.

Piper:
Really? See, I usually like it.

Piper:
This demon didn't even seem to know who we were, which by the way I find insulting.

Phoebe:
I can explain, you are dreaming.

Piper:
Dreaming?

Phoebe:
Yes, dreaming. And you are going to wake up in your room and everything is going to be fine.

Little Phoebe:
I'm ten, I'm not stupid. Grams!

Piper:
Wow, I do not miss that.

Cole:
Who are you?

Old Phoebe:
Maybe this will refresh your memory. You bastard. (slaps Cole across the face.)

Phoebe:
I cast a spell to hear my heart's desire. And I guess my past self and my future self showed up to help me listen.

Cole:
What desire did you want to hear?

Phoebe:
That's between me and...me.

Old Phoebe:
Worried?

Old Phoebe:
Ah, the good old days. Of course, nobody's gonna take you seriously until you stop dressing like a tramp.

Phoebe:
A tramp? That is so 'in' right now.

Little Phoebe:
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream...

Piper:
Honey, you have to listen to me.

Little Phoebe:
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

Piper:
We're just trying to help.

Leo:
She's your sister.

Piper:
Yeah, don't remind me.

Phoebe:
Having a little trouble with young Phoebe?

Piper:
Yeah, enough to make me reconsider having children. Maybe we should just lie to her again.

Phoebe:
No. I think I have an idea.

Little Phoebe:
Stay away from me or I'll sick Prue on you.

Piper:
Oh, yeah, don't go there.

Piper:
Having problems with geriatric you?

Little Phoebe:
Oh, my gosh! Who are you?

Phoebe:
That guy is Cole. He's our fiancee.

Little Phoebe:
Wait, you mean he's our prince? The one who sweeps us off our feet?

Piper:
: Haha, Prince?

Paige:
What about little Phoebe? She went back to her time with all this knowledge of the future. Won't that cause complications?

Piper:
I doubt it. The minute she starts talking about magic, Grams will do some hocus pocus to erase all that knowledge.

Paige:
That's nice.

Piper:
That's Grams.

Paige:
I did the rhyme, I will do the time.

Piper, Phoebe, and Paige:
Hell threw you from it's inner core, But Earth won't hold you any more, Since heaven cannot be your place, Let flesh and blood be now erased.

Hell threw you from it's inner core,

But Earth won't hold you any more,

Since heaven cannot be your place,

Let flesh and blood be now erased.

Phoebe:
And for my two beautiful bridesmaids, whom I chose because they're my best friends in the whole wide world. There's a bonsai tree for balance and harmony, and a dreamcatcher so all your dreams will come true, just like mine have.

Paige:
This is so great, tarot cards! My deck is totally trashed, this is perfect.

Phoebe:
That's just incase you need psychic services while me and my new husband are busy getting busy.

Leo:
What is a wedding without a bachelor party? I've got poker chips, corn chips...I have chips!

Paige:
This is Phoebe and Cole's tarot reading. They were lovers in the past, despair fills their present, but this is their future.

Piper:
Oh, please, this looks nothing like Death. Prue met him, I know.

Piper:
Phoebe, let's not blow this out of proportion

Phoebe:
My wedding dress could double as a circus tent, I think things are already out of proportion.

Phoebe:
Don't think I don't know how you really feel about Cole.

Paige:
Ugh, I have been nothing but nice to that demon.

Phoebe:
Ex-demon.

Paige:
Oh, is that like ex-convict?

Piper:
You are going to get ready, we are going to put lots and lots of makeup on you.

Paige:
Oh face it, there's not spackle in the world to fill those craters.

Paige:
Listen, we're not fighting each other here, we're fighting evil. We kick evil's ass every day.

Piper:
Sometimes twice a day.

Phoebe:
To marriage.

Piper:
Hey, this is supposed to be our anniversary.

Phoebe:
To Piper and Leo's marriage, may ours be as successful as theirs.

Piper:
Yeh, see that still didn't sound like it was about us.

Cole:
You can't go yet Paige, we haven't gotten to the good part.

Paige:
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought watching you guys make out all night was supposed to be the highlight of my evening.

Cole:
I was with the entire family. Have you lost your mind?

The Seer:
Forgive me, but it was imperative that I have you here now if my ritual is to take effect.

Cole:
I am trying to be the perfect husband. The perfect brother-in-law. It would help if I didn't have demons waving at me from the dance floor.

Phoebe:
Speaking of looking forward... Piper, you're going on your honeymoon tonight. I think new lingerie is in order.

Piper:
You always think new lingerie is in order.

Phoebe:
Not for me, silly. You wanna come, Paige?

Paige:
Ugh, I can't. I have to go to that evil place where they keep my paycheque.

Phoebe:
Oh, right, sorry.

Phoebe:
How do you spell 'oblique'?

Piper:
With spellcheck.

Phoebe:
Yes, Printing!

Piper:
Hi, Saving!

Paige:
I can't believe I destroyed the house.

Phoebe:
What I can't believe is what you almost saw in the hotel room. If you had gotten there five minutes earlier...

Piper:
Lalala! Oversharing.

Piper:
I'll go get the book and brush up on my ghostbusting.

Paige:
No, no. I'll go do it.

Piper:
You just said you were late for work

Paige:
Yeah, but he's a ghost, who knows where he came from, what era. He's like a piece of manhunk history.

Phoebe:
Cole wants us to get our own place

Paige:
What, you mean move out?

Phoebe:
Yeah, you know, like normal married couples do.

Piper:
We didn't.

Phoebe:
Yeah, but you're not normal.

Woman:
What's going on? Who is that?

Piper:
My hero.

Paige:
You know what Cole, just bite me.

Phoebe:
So what's going on, is there a demon convention in San Francisco or what?

Piper:
Yes, there is a demonic electoral college, they've called a meeting and they're voting in a new source!

Paige:
How many have you had?

Rowan:
I don't keep track. Faces all fade away, it's the taste you remember.

Paige:
And what was I, fast food?

Piper:
Maybe this is more than just being run down. Maybe you're pregnant.

Phoebe:
That is funny. Actually, it's not so funny.. I went to the drugstore, I got a test, a peed on a stick and I anxiously awaited the results in two minutes.

Piper:
And?

Phoebe:
And, it was negative, thankfully.

Piper:
Yeah, well, mine was too.

Phoebe:
I left the manor, not the family.

Piper:
Manticore?

Phoebe:
Bites, but doesn't fly.

Piper:
Phoenix?

Phoebe:
Flies, but doesn't bite.

Piper:
Chupacabra!

Phoebe (laughs):
God bless you! Flies and bites, but only attacks livestock.

Piper:
We only know that Cole is dealing with demons, not that he is a demon.

Paige:
If it looks like a demon and walks like a demon.

Piper:
That's ducks, that's not Phoebe's husband!

Phoebe:
I'm pregnant.

Piper:
You're what?

Paige:
Oh my God, from Cole?

Piper:
Well maybe you haven't heard. There's a new Source, the old one is dead.

Paige:
Yeah, we already kicked his sorry ass.

Wizard:
He didn't die. He was reborn into a new sorry ass. Wait, that didn't come out right.

Phoebe:
You're lying, I can see your wisdom teeth.

Paige:
I don't have wisdom teeth.

Piper:
(After she blows up a demon.) What an idiot, doesn't every demon know by now, who's house this is?

Paige:
Alright, what's the plan?

Piper:
We learn from his mistakes.

Wizard:
Not mistakes. Miscalculations.

Wizard:
Please, Merlin was an over-rated hack. Tell me he's not the only wizard you people have ever heard of.

Paige:
Does Harry Potter count?

Phoebe:
Do me a favor. Find something that strengthens me and doesn't taste like crap.

Piper:
This one duplicates my freezing power, plus it scalds the flesh, so we should only use it in a dire emergency.

Paige:
No! I will not scald Phoebe's flesh!

Paige:
She's like Piper-lite. All the personality without any of those messy emotions.

Phoebe:
Relax boys. I'm here to cook, not kill.

Piper:
Phoebe, you're evil. You're like the Queen of All Evil. Literally.

Phoebe:
That's beside the point.

Piper:
How, how, how could you do that? How could you just let him go?

Phoebe:
I don't know why you're so upset, we saved the innocent, didn't we?

Piper:
I can't talk to her. You talk to her!

Leo:
Phoebe...

Phoebe:
Things are not as black and white as they used to be, ok? I can't just go around and kill demons anymore.

Paige:
Why not? We heard you just killed two last night.

Phoebe:
Yeah, well that was different, he was getting on my nerves. I promised Cole I wouldn't kill anymore. And killing Malick would have been a huge betrayal.

Piper:
Malick? You're on a first-name basis with the demons?

Leo:
If you were just gonna order him to stop, you could have done that on your own. Why did you even come to us?

Phoebe:
Because I missed you guys! Okay? Is that so wrong? I missed you!

Leo:
Phoebe, you can't be the Queen of the Underworld and a Charmed One. You can't have it both ways.

Phoebe:
Why not? Just because it's different doesn't mean that it can't work. And you all miss me too, even though I'm sure Piper probably doesn't want to admit it to herself.

Paige:
Of course, we miss you, honey.

Phoebe:
Well, you can have me back. You can have the Power of Three back. You just have to be willing to meet me halfway.

Piper:
Phoebe, you can't protect the innocent and save demons. It just doesn't work that way.

Phoebe:
Apparently, it does. He's alive, isn't he?

Paige:
Yeah, but your friend Malick is gonna come back.

Phoebe:
You don't know that.

Piper:
That's what they do, Phoebe. They come back. They snarl, and come back.

Paige:
Yeah, and now we have to worry about protecting him instead of trying to save you.

Phoebe:
You think I need saving?

Piper:
Are you kidding me? That baby inside you has corrupted you, more than you think.

Phoebe:
Piper...

Piper:
Don't Piper me. This is insane. What are you saying is insane. You can not come back. You can not work with us, as long as you're married to the Source.

Phoebe:
So what do you want me to do?! You want me to leave my husband?!

Piper:
Yes!

Phoebe:
That is not fair!

Leo:
It's not fair Phoebe, but you have to pick a side. Good or evil. That's how it works. Even though it means giving up someone you love, you have to choose.

Phoebe:
I'm really sorry you feel that way. (she disappeares in the flame) .

Piper:
I can't do this. (walks away)

Paige:
What about Greg?

(Piper unfreezes him.)

Greg:
Oh no, not again.

Elise:
Dear Betrayed, I suggest you beat your cheating husband with his secretary's stapler. Then he'll think twice before bending her over her desk again.

Phoebe:
Well it might be a little harsh, but I think it makes a point.

Piper:
Paige could see that Cole clearly had turned evil, and she tried to tell me over and over and over and over and over... and over. That doesn't even sound like a word anymore.

Piper:
This time, the Source is Cole. You really think she's going to say a little spell with us to vanquish him?

Paige:
If she doesn't, we die.

Piper:
Is that supposed to be comforting?

Phoebe:
You killed him?

Cole:
It was... your mess, I was just cleaning it up.

Phoebe:
Cole, they're gonna come after you. They're gonna come here!"

Cole:
Well, if they do...

Phoebe:
No... (walks away)

Cole:
Phoebe, if it comes to either them or us... Phoebe, wait.

Phoebe:
Oh, God. (runs inside the bathroom and empties her stomach)

Paige:
You evil, son-of-a-bitch.

(Piper blows Cole up and he turns into wasps. Paige starts placing crystals around the floor.)

Piper:
Phoebe, get out here and help us, dammit.

(Cole turns back in front of Paige and knocks her back as Piper warns her.)

Cole:
Don't make me kill you.

(Piper blows him up again)

Piper:
Phoebe! You heard what he said, he's gonna kill us, help us!

Phoebe:
(as she's leaving the bathroom) Forgive me.

(Cole reforms and has a fireball in hand as Phoebe picks up the fallen crystal.)

Cole:
I'm sorry. It's... It's for the best.

Phoebe:
... I know it is. [walks over and kisses Cole]

Piper:
Phoebe?

Phoebe:
(backing away) I'm sorry, too. (she places the last crystal on the ground, trapping Cole.)

Cole:
Phoebe, no... No!

Phoebe:
I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry.

Piper:
Prudence, Penelope, Patricia, Melinda... (Cole's legs go up in flames.)

Phoebe:
(voice breaking) Ashford, Helen, Laura, and Grace... (Cole's upper body go up in flames.)

Cole:
(to Phoebe, whispering) I'll always love you.

Paige:
Halliwell witches, stand strong beside us...

Phoebe:
Vanquish this evil...

Piper, Phoebe, and Paige:
From time and space.

(Cole screams in pain and explodes in flames.)

Phoebe:
How can I go to the doctor when I have a demonically challenged baby?

Piper:
What happened?!

Phoebe:
Well it's about time! My head was on fire like a tiki torch a few seconds ago.

Piper:
Do not change the subject! Did your baby just electrocute the nice doctor man?!

Phoebe:
Yeah, I think so. But he was just protecting himself because that gel was really cold.

Phoebe:
Piper, what is going on here?

Piper:
I don't know, but don't panic, we'll wrap up here and we'll go home and panic!

Paige:
Why me? I have nothing against that little fu... fetus.

Darryl:
I left four messages here. Did anybody in this house learn the magic of the telephone?

Piper:
(after Phoebe's baby morphs a slice of watermelon to a chunk of meat) Maybe your baby would prefer to listen to Ozzy.

Piper:
So let me get this straight, you summoned me to a cage where my powers don't work so we can all die together?

Paige:
Well, the plan has some flaws admittedly.

Darryl:
Where is this baby everybody keeps talking about? Is it an invisible baby? Am I gonna step on it?

Cole:
(voiceover from the letter)If I'm dead right now, I know it was by your hand. No one else in heaven or hell had power over me. Please don't cry. I was dead before I met you, I was born the day you loved me, and my love for you will keep me alive. Forever.

Angel of Destiny:
You can choose to relinquish your magic and lead normal lives again, unaccounted, free. We'd wipe the entire slate clean. Nobody would come after you again. Well, what do you say?

Piper:
What do we say? Are you kidding? You can't just freeze the whole world and come in here and drop a bombshell like that and expect a quick decision.

Cole:
This is the Wasteland, where all vanquished demons end up. The beast feeds on their essence, their powers.

Phoebe:
So what are you dong here?

Cole:
Hanging on to our love.

Piper:
Okay, in case anyone is wondering, we are officially screwed.

Angel of Destiny:
Actually it's because of a demon that I've come to see you, which in and of itself is very rare: we angels of destiny normally don't intervene, except in extraordinary situations: Mozart at age seven, Michelangelo, Albert Einstein... (with clear embarrassment) Britney Spears...

Leo:
Hey, did you just freeze me?

Piper:
No dear. The Angel of Destiny did.

Cole:
I'm a demon with a soul, Phoebe. It's rather unique to the cosmos.

Piper:
Havin' a crappy day?

Phoebe:
Yeah.

Piper:
Cole?

Phoebe:
Yeah.

Angel of Destiny:
By the way, thought you'd like to know, neither decision would've affected yours and Leo's personal destiny.

Piper:
What?

Angel of Destiny:
You'll find out soon.

Phoebe:
Oh my God.

Piper:
What?

Phoebe:
Don't you get it?

Piper:
What?

Phoebe:
Don't you get it? She's pregnant!

Piper:
Who's pregnant? I'm pregnant?

Phoebe:
Hi baby.