Courage the Cowardly Dog, Season 2

Dr. Vindaloo:
Tsk, tsk, tsk. This is the worst case of boli-boli I have ever seen.

Eustace:
What?

Courage:
No!

Eustace:
CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! CHOP!

Instant Eel:
Oh, Danny Boy. The pipes, the pipes are calling.

Dr. Vindaloo:
Aha! Nothing to worry about... But, there's nothing I can do. [leaves through the front door. Courage yanks on his ears, hops around, and howls in frustration]

Eustace:
This is all your fault, dog. You and that rotten tree. Now I gotta order take-out for breakfast. [picks Courage up and boots him out the front door] Stupid dog!

[Eustace is sitting on the roof.]

Eustace:
Bah. Ain't no such thing as curses. [wipes the rain from his glasses] No way, no how. [takes off his glasses and wipes them with a cloth, but is startled by lightning strikes from the cloud, causing his glasses to fly out of his hand and land on the edge of the roof] Hey! My glasses! No! I-I-I can't see! Where?! Where?! [sees a TV antenna] Huh? Muriel? [hallucinates the antenna as a wiry monster, then rubs his eyes] You're not Muriel! [starts wrestling with the antenna as Courage comes up with a blanket] Get off my roof! I don't know who you are! [sees Courage] Huh? Huh? [hallucinates Courage as a giant, sharp-toothed fish, then growls in rage] No solicitors! [charges towards Courage, who screams in fear, and grabs Courage by the throat] Now you get! We don't want any! [throws Courage off the roof]

Eustace:
No solicitors! Especially at this hour! You wanna piece of me!? You wanna piece of me!?

Shirley the Medium:
The stupid one. He's stupid, right?

[Eustace sneezes. Muriel puts a thermometer in his mouth. He grumbles]

Muriel:
You know, Eustace. You should thank Courage for getting rid of that curse.

Eustace:
[takes the thermometer out of his mouth and notices Courage wearing his hat] What you doing with my hat, dog? Bah! [snatches the hat from Courage and puts it on his own head, causing the cloud to reappear] Bah! There ain't no such thing as a curse. [gets struck by lightning] Bah!

Basil:
Zip your mouth shut, dag. Or I'll be fishing you again, I will.

Old Lady Inside Vacuum Cleaner:
Let me lay down the ground rules: This is my half of the lint, that's your half of the lint. Remember that and we won't have no trouble.

Eustace:
Lousy, stinkin' tube food! [tastes the tube food] Hey, this ain't half bad!

Eustace:
Stupid space!

Di Lung:
Look, I invent extra toe!

Di Lung:
I can made you different!

Di Lung:
[after turning Courage into a fly] I don't think so. Supposed to be buffalo. Don't know how, but I go back and work on problem. Should be buffalo...Fly...I don't think so.

Courage:
I don't know why I'm doing this. But I like it.

Eustace:
Stupid dog-fly!

Di Lung:
[after turning the general and lieutenant into buffalo] I make you different!

Eustace:
Stupid water.

Eustace:
I hope that's the sound of dinner getting made in there.

Katz:
[trying to make Courage lose in staring contest] Blink! Blink! Blink!

Eustace:
BOOGA! BOOGA! BOOGA!

Katz:
Sad, isn't it?

Dr. Vindaloo:
I was confused by my submarine.

[Muriel is sipping tea as Courage uses tweezers to pull out hair from her legs. Eustace arrives home covered head to toe in hair, laughing]

Muriel:
Eustace! What happened to you?

Eustace:
[pulls out stacks of money, happily] Money! [starts laughing]

[Eustace reaches his hand out to get the gold hat but Muriel smacks it away]

Muriel:
Can't you read? [points to a sign reading…] "Do not touch."

Eustace:
Nope. [chuckles as he takes the gold hat, ignoring the sign]

[The cave suddenly starts to rumble]

Muriel:
Now see what you went and done, Eustace?

Eustace:
[After being turned to ashes by the gold hat] Stupid hat!

[While Muriel folds the last shirt, Courage is relaxing inside a wash basket]

Muriel:
Arms in, shoulders back, bend over backwards. Ah, the power of doing housework. [puts the last shirt on top of the three shirts she had already folded. Eustace, wearing a towel, walks into the room. He grabs his shirt that was underneath the three shirts Muriel had folded and pulls it out, causing the three shirts to fall to the floor; annoyed] Eustace.

Eustace:
Uh, sorry. You had the pile upside down.

[As Muriel picks up the three shirts, Eustace takes off his towel and starts to put on his shirt. Muriel starts to fold a shirt]

Muriel:
Arms in, shoulders back, bend over backwards. Arms in, shoulders back, bend over backwards.

[Eustace starts to button his shirt, but his arms are telekinetically pulled straight down and bended backwards and his back is telekinetically bended backwards. Courage gasps in horror]

Eustace:
Muriel, you folded me clothes too tight. What are you trying to do to me?

Muriel:
I didn't do anything different, just the usual wash and fluff and fold. Must be the new detergent I'm using.

[Eustace grumbles angrily. He uses his feet to push himself up and walks out while muttering to himself. Courage and Muriel watch on]

[While Eustace reads his newspaper, Muriel polishes his shoes]

Muriel:
Beautiful. A good shine can make an old woman look young again.

Eustace:
[lowers his newspaper] Ain't nothing gonna make you young again. [puts down his newspaper] So just give me my shoes.

Muriel:
[gets up and gives Eustace his shoes] Here you are, [Eustace takes his shoes from her] crabby.

Eustace:
[puts on his shoes] Eh, who needs them polished anyway? Just gonna get scuffed. Stupid as showering.[Courage is gnawing on an anchor when Eustace's shoes explode] Muriel! What are you trying to do to me? [grabs his leg] Next time you wanna blow up my shoes, take 'em out back!

Muriel:
But I shined them just like always. Maybe they've changed the shoe polish formula.

[Eustace is standing outside when Muriel comes out with his hat]

Muriel:
There it is for you, Eustace. I steamed it and blocked it, like always. [gives Eustace his hat]

[Courage comes outside sniffing]

Eustace:
Thanks. [takes his hat from Muriel and puts it on his head, but the two chickens that were inside the hat start pecking on Eustace's head. Eustace runs around screaming in pain]

[Courage and Muriel watch on]

Muriel:
Must be something new they're putting in the steam.

[Muriel is sitting with Courage on the rocking chair]

Muriel:
Some therapist she is. If only we had someone here who could really help.

[Courage gets an idea. He runs upstairs]

[Courage is in the attic, typing on the computer]

Computer:
You want to be a licensed therapist? A twit like you? [Courage types on the keyboard repeatedly] Okay. Don't get testy. I happen to be certified to certify. Just answer these questions and you'll have your license.

Courage:
Mm-hm.

Computer:
One: How do you spell, "our time is up, pay me lots of money?" [Courage types on the keyboard repeatedly] There's no Q in Cincinnati. Twerp. Next question: If Johnny has three apples and Davey has two apples, why don't they just shut up and eat?

[Courage is unsure on how to answer the question]

[Courage is in the attic]

Computer:
Congratulations. You are now a fully licensed therapist. [the printer prints out a therapist license, which Courage takes out and looks at. He runs out] Word of advice. Just keep nodding and don't say anything. And so Western civilization crumbles.

Spirit of the Harvest Moon:
GET OUT.

Muriel:
Well that's not very polite!

Spirit of the Harvest Moon:
You didn't let me finish.

Muriel:
I'm sorry.

Spirit of the Harvest Moon:
It's time to hit the road.

Muriel:
Well, that's not much better!

Eustace:
I'm a farmer! Farmer, farmer, farmer! Ain't stubborn! Ain't, ain't, ain't!

Eustace:
At least I got arms and legs, you don't even got a neck. Ha ha ha!

Spirit of the Harvest Moon:
Get out of my face.

Eustace:
Make me.

Spirit of the Harvest Moon:
Wait until midnight comes around.

Sand Whale:
You're trying to cheat me like you cheated me before, lckett Bagge. You won that accordion off me in a crooked card game a long time ago and I want it back.

Eustace:
Naw. I ain't lckett, I ain't got no accordion, and I don't wanna be talking to no whale.

Dr. Zalost:
What's the good of having all the money in the world if it doesn't bring any happiness? And if I'm not happy, no one deserves to be happy.