Criminal Minds, Season 5

Rossi:
Karl Kraus said, "A weak man has doubts before a decision. A strong man has them afterwards."

Morgan:
We're not working a case, why call us to a crime scene?

Rossi:
I was hoping you knew.

Prentiss:
JJ said the police told her it was urgent.

Morgan:
Four hours of sleep after what we went through in Canada, it better be.

Garcia:
[to Reid on the phone]Okay, do you want biological information or full medical charts?

Reid:
Can you get the full medical charts?

Garcia:
[to Reid] You know, for a smart boy you sure ask a lot of dumb questions.

JJ:
[quoting Reid, who is on crutches due to his gunshot wound] Kicking down doors is Morgan's job anyway.

Hotchner:
Emily Dickinson wrote, "One need not be a chamber to be haunted, one need not be a house. The brain has corridors surpassing material place."

Rossi:
[about Hotch] He was evaluated.

Morgan:
Come on, we wrote those questions. Hotch knows exactly how to answer them.

Garcia:
[talking about Reid's leg] Does it hurt?

Reid:
It really only hurts when I think about it, which is pretty much all the time.

[Reid reaches for cookie]

Garcia:
No, no, no, go away you.

Reid:
What?

Garcia:
These are for Hotch.

Reid:
I get shot in the leg and I don't get any cookies? You know he's going to hate the attention.

Garcia:
It's cookies, not cake.

Reid:
I've been thinking about it; the whole time I've known Hotch, I don't think I've ever seen him blink.

Garcia:
I know. It's weird.

Reid:
It's classic alpha male behavior.

Garcia:
Do you think he stared down that Foyet?

Reid:
Maybe. Could be what saved his life.

Garcia:
Do you think he stared the whole time, like with each stab? [Mimicking stabs]

Reid:
I have no idea.

Garcia:
Is he okay?

Reid:
I wouldn't be, but... I'm a blinker.

[talking about Darrin Call]

Rossi:
He obviously had the same routine every day.

Prentiss:
Except for today. He finished his cereal, walked to the pharmacy and killed three people.

Hotchner:
"There is no witness so dreadful, no accuser so terrible as the conscience that dwells in the heart of every man." Polybius

Rossi:
"Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical." Blaise Pascal

Reid:
What's this?

Hotch:
You told me you were cleared to fly. You lied.

Prentiss:
Naughty boy.

Reid:
No I didn't. I am a doctor, so technically it wasn't a lie.

Garcia:
What was it then?

Reid:
...A second opinion?

Garcia:
You're my bitch now.

[Morgan laughs]

Garcia:
[to Hotch via webcam with Reid] I got something that might help us with that...

Reid:
Technically, we have something that might help us with that.

Reid:
[to Prentiss via webcam with Garcia] Anything less than 10,000 dollars keeps the IRS off your trail.

Garcia:
[desperately] I know that too.

Rossi:
I work with a kid who could solve this in five minutes.

Ray Finnagan:
He must be smarter than both of us.

Rossi:
That's for sure.

Finnegan:
Hey, that kid. the smart one. I can sure use his help.

Rossi:
Reid?

Reid:
Reid here!

Finnegan:
Ten letters. Crater creator?

Reid:
Ten letters. Crater creator?

Garcia:
Arctangent!

Rossi:
Did you get that?

Finnegan:
Damn, she's smart!

Rossi:
"I have always found that mercy bears richer fruit than strict justice." Abraham Lincoln

Morgan:
Kingman Brewster, Jr. said, "There is no lasting hope in violence, only temporary relief from hopelessness."

Hotch:
[to detective Anderson] I know what it's like to to work a case that makes you question humanity and you have to rise above it all.

Morgan:
William Shakespeare wrote, "These violent delights have violent ends."

JJ:
Journalist William D. Tammeus wrote, "You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around and why his parents will always wave back."

Garcia:
[when looking at adoption date] Yeah, according to this, blue-eyed, blonde-haired bundles of joy pay top dollar.

Garcia:
[to Reid over speaker] Super skeezy. I've got a spreadsheet from one of them expecting compensation for the baby I'm having.

[Morgan walks in]

Morgan:
Something you wanna tell me Garcia?

Garcia:
Aw, that's the sad part my prince. The genetically perfect offspring of Penelope Garcia and Derek Morgan wouldn't fetch top dollar.

Morgan:
"And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out and cast it from thee." Matthew 5:29

Morgan:
You know you should have waited for backup

Hotch:
Would you have?

[Prentiss gives them both weird looks]

Hotch:
What?

Prentiss:
[smirks] Nothing

Garcia:
[spots Morgan's necklace] Hey, what's that? I haven't seen it before.

Morgan:
Penelope, there's a lot of my stuff that you haven't seen before.

Garcia:
Wow, you are a tease.

Morgan:
All due respect Ms. Strauss but both of you have trusted me to step in as Unit Chief. I have decided that I don't want Agent Hotchner's office. That's where he belongs.

Morgan:
Woman, you have lost your mind...but you're the best.

Garcia:
I completely agree

Morgan:
"Dwell in peace in the home of your own being and the messenger of death will not be able to touch you." Guru Nanak

Reid:
"In all the darkest pages of the malign supernatural, there is no more terrible tradition than that of the vampire - a pariah even among demons." Writer Montague Summers.

Garcia:
Password was Cullen.

JJ:
Of course.

Reid:
Colan?

JJ:
Cullen, the vampire family from Twilight.

Reid:
What's Twilight?

JJ:
Do you ever read anything other than technical books?

Reid:
Not much in English.

JJ:
I am gonna go talk to Tara's BFF before the media requests come in and gets too crazy.

Reid:
What's a BFF?

Prentiss:
[referring to a minor celebrity the team suspects of involvement with a recent murder spree] Garcia, can you get us an address?

Detective Kim:
That's going to take a little while, celebrities are protected by layers of privacy, it's like finding information on a deeply...

Garcia:
[cutting in] 22423 Greenvale Circle Holmby Hills, GPS coordinates are uploading to you now and his name is Paul Davies, by the way.

Prentiss:
Run him for a criminal record too.

Garcia:
You got it.

Prentiss:
Thanks PG.

Detective Kim:
Hate to think what she could find out about me.

Prentiss:
Oh, I prefer not even to consider it.

Prentiss:
Is he gonna be okay?

Morgan:
He's got a gun.

JJ:
You remember Detective Owen Kim?

Hotchner:
From the stalker case?

JJ:
Yeah. You remember that case, don't you, Spence?

Reid:
I do remember that case.

JJ:
Yeah, you ever talk to that...um...What, Lila?...any more?

Reid:
You know, I think we should probably focus on this case right now. It's a little more pertinent.

Prentiss:
Writer Cyril Connolly said, "Better to write for yourself and have no public than to write for the public and have no self."

Morgan:
"Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else unless it's an enemy." Albert Einstein

Hotch:
"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." Friedrich Nietzsche

Strauss:
[with false solicitude] Are you all right?

Garcia:
[nervous and stammering] I'm just not comfortable with any of this. It's not OK.

Strauss:
[sits across from Penelope] What do you mean?

Garcia:
In my opinion? Everyone is asking the wrong questions. Doesn't anyone care what The Reaper did to them? The people he hurt? All anyone seems to care about is... it just isn't right.

Strauss:
Do you think Agent Hotchner was acting... agitated or unreasonable?

Garcia:
He... no. No! He... he was freaked out about his family... which, considering what happened, was perfectly reasonable.

Strauss:
[Strauss is questioning Rossi] Once the team located George Foyet's potential apartment, why didn't the BAU enter immediately?

Strauss:
Agent Rossi?

Rossi:
[clearly disinterested] Hmmm?

Strauss:
I asked you a question.

Rossi:
[holds up his cell phone] Gold is still going up. But knowing when to get out, that's the trick.[smirks]

Strauss:
[irritated, shutting off recorder] What are you doing?

Rossi:
[disgusted] What's the point of all this, Erin? Why?

Strauss:
So this never happens again.

Rossi:
[contemptuously] There is nothing a bureaucrat can do to make sure that "something like this" never happens again.

Strauss:
So we just wait for the next bloodbath?

Reid:
When you're being tortured, there's no end in sight except giving them what they want.

Strauss:
And Kassmeyer didn't do that?

Reid:
He withstood everything that Foyet had.

Strauss:
[Pretiss enters interrogation room where Strauss is waiting] Agent Prentiss.

Prentiss:
[snarling icily] Ma'am.

Strauss:
We understand that Agent Hotchner managed to separate himself from the rest of the team.

Prentiss:
[with sarcasm] He didn't "manage" to do that. When Marshall Kassmeyer was in the ambulance...

Strauss:
[interrrupting] ... Agent Hotchner volunteered to ride along...

Prentiss:
[interrupting back] ... to get answers before he lost consciousness.

Strauss:
Why didn't you go with him?

Prentiss:
It didn't seem necessary.

Strauss:
Did he tell you that?

Prentiss:
[angry] Is that what you're looking for? A way to blame this on him? What good could that possibly do?

Strauss:
Agent Hotchner was looking for an opportunity to separate himself from the team, and he found one.

Prentiss:
That isn't the truth!

Strauss:
He was desperate and he didn't want someone with a clear head to stop him.

Prentiss:
Is there a question in there somewhere?

Hotch:
[Hotch is on his way to his house after learning that Foyet has gotten to Haley and Jack... his cell phone rings, it's Haley] Foyet?

Haley:
[Foyet is with Haley] Aaron? You're OK?

Hotch:
[stunned by the irony... pauses] I'm fine.

Haley:
But... he said that... Oh, Aaron.

Hotch:
He can hear us, right?

Haley:
Yes... I'm so sorry.

Hotch:
Haley... show him NO weakness... no fear.

Haley:
I know... Sam told me all about him. Is he, um...

Hotch:
[lying] No... Sam is fine.

Foyet:
Aaron, Aaron, Aaron... is that why your marriage broke up? Because you're a liar?

Hotch:
Don't listen to him, Haley!

The Reaper:
I have Sam's service phone right here. They sent out a mass text about his death. Take a look if you want.

Hotch:
He's trying to scare you!

Foyet:
Did you even tell her what this was about? About the deal?

Hotch:
He's just trying to make you angry.

Foyet:
Well she should be! She's gonna--

Foyet:
D-I-E because of your inflated ego!

Hotch:
Ignore him, Haley!

Foyet:
Oh sure, you don't want her to know this part, either.

Foyet:
[to Haley] You know, all he had to do was stop lookin' for me and you wouldn't be in this mess.

Hotch:
Don't react!

Haley:
What is he talking about?

Hotch:
[pauses] Tell Jack I need him working the case.

Haley:
What?

Hotch:
Tell Jack I need him working the case!

Haley:
Jack, did you hear that?

Jack:
[comes to phone] Hi, Daddy.

Hotch:
[Aaron is on a cell phone, trying desparately to get home, where Foyet is waiting and getting ready to kill Haley] Jack, hug your mom for me.

Jack:
[they embrace] Mama hugged me too tight.

Haley:
[she releases Jack] I'm sorry.

Jack:
[Jack sees Haley's tears] Why are you sad?

Haley:
[trying to smile and sound upbeat] I just love you so much!

Jack:
[Haley hugs Jack again] I gotta go... I'm working on the case.

Haley:
OK.

Foyet:
He's so cute. He's like a little junior G Man. [calls after Jack] I'll be right out, Jackie-boy!

Hotch:
Is he gone?

Haley:
[drying tears] Yes.

Hotch:
You're so strong, Haley! You're stronger than I ever was!

Haley :
[Foyet comes up behind Haley, she's anxious] You'll hurry, right?

Hotch:
[fighting tears] I know you didn't sign on for this.

Haley:
[much more calm] Neither did you.

Hotch:
I'm sorry for everything.

Haley:
[realizing she's about to die] Promise me that you will tell him how we met, and how you used to make me laugh.

Hotch:
Haley...

Haley:
He needs to know that you weren't always so serious, Aaron. I want him to believe in love, because it... it is the most important thing... but you need to show him. Promise me!

Hotch:
I promise.

Hotch:
[concluding his remarks in the investigation regarding George Foyet's death... he's talking about Haley's murder by Foyet to Strauss] ... and there was nothing that I could do for her. She was already...

Strauss:
[puts her glasses on and reads report, uncharacteristically choking back tears] She died fairly quickly... one of the wounds severed her aorta, and they don't think that she...

Hotch:
[quietly] I don't have to think. I know that he would have tried to kill my son too.

Strauss:
That's good enough for me.

Strauss:
Any questions?

Strauss:
Agent Hotchner, I'm so sorry for your loss. And, if you or your son need anything...

Hotch:
Thank you.

Hotch:
Poet Haniel Long said, "So much of what is best in us is bound up in our love of family that it remains the measure of our stability because it measures our sense of loyalty."

Hotchner:
W. S. Gilbert wrote, "It's love that makes the world go round." And if that's true, then the world spun a little faster with Haley in it. Haley was my best friend since we were in high school. We certainty had our struggles but, if there's one thing we agreed on unconditionally, it was our love and commitment to our son Jack. Haley's love for Jack was joyous and fierce. That fierceness is why she isn't here today. A mother's love is an unrivaled force of nature and we can all learn much from the way Haley lived her life. Haley's death causes each of us to stop and take stock of our lives, to measure who we are and what we've become. I don't have all those answers for myself, but I know who Haley was. She was the woman who died protecting the child we brought into this world together, and I will make sure that Jack grows up knowing who his mother was and how she loved and protected him, and how much I loved her. If Haley were with us today she would ask us not to mourn her death, but to celebrate her life. She would tell us... she would tell us to love our families unconditionally and to hold them close because in the end they are all that matter. I met Haley at the tryouts of our high school's production of the 'Pirates of Penzance'. I found our copy of the play and I was looking through it the other night, and I came upon a passage that seemed appropriate for this moment. "Oh dry the glistening tear, that dews that marshal cheek, thy loving children hear, in them thy comfort seek, with sympathetic care, their arms around thee creep, for oh they cannot bear, to see their father weep."

Hotchner:
"Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts." Oliver Wendell Holmes

[Prentiss kneels over Joe the UnSub, pinning him to the ground]

Prentiss:
Fantasy's over. Is that what you did to them? You hit them to shut them up and then forced them to play along with your sick delusion?

Joe:
I love them.

Prentiss:
You're finally gonna meet your soul mate Joe, in prison. Only you're not gonna be able to push them around the way you did those women. And when he comes over you in the middle of the night, when you're least expecting it you do me a favor, play along.

[standing at Haley's grave]

Rossi:
I had a feeling I'd find you here. Have you told her yet?

Hotchner:
Told her what?

Rossi:
That you're coming back to the team, that fighting the bad guys is who you are.

Hotchner:
I don't have to tell her, she already knows.

Rossi:
Scars remind us of where we've been; they don't have to dictate where we're going.

Hotchner:
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Prentiss:
"Men are more ready to repay an injury than a benefit, because gratitude is a burden and revenge a pleasure." Tacitus

Schrader:
"It's madness for the sheep to talk peace with a wolf." Thomas Fuller

Morgan:
How many shots did you fire?

Emily:
Three.

Morgan:
You emptied your clip.

Emily:
No...I did?

[after Prentiss gets hit by a truck]

JJ:
How are you?

Prentiss:
I feel like I got hit by a truck.

Prentiss:
Washington Irving said, "There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love."

Reid:
Mildred Lisette Norman wrote, "Anything you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its usefulness, possesses you. And in this materialistic age, a great many of us are possessed by our possessions."

[Reid reads a series of books outdoors while next to Eric, who is playing chess against himself]

Eric:
We missed you out here.

Reid:
Oh thank you. Thanks, I uh, I had to take a little break.

Eric:
How come?

Reid:
Used to play with a co-worker friend of mine, he's probably the best mind I ever went up against. One day he just, decided that he didn't want to play anymore.

Eric:
So you gave up too?

Reid:
Just the opposite. I attempted to play through every permutation of moves on a chess board.

Eric:
That's an infinite number of games.

Reid:
It's not infinite. It's just, it's exponentially large.

Eric:
You couldn't have played through them all.

Reid:
There's an average of forty moves per chess game and I'll tell you something. The more I play, the more I realize that every single match, every single chess game is really just a simple variation on the exact same theme, you know? Aggressive openings, patient mid-game, inevitable checkmate, and I realized when my friend quit he was tired of repeating the exact same patterns and expecting a different outcome.

Eric:
So you have a life time of chess strategy in your head and you're just sitting on it?

[Reid's phone rings]

Reid:
I still use it, I just uh, I apply it differently. I have to go, it's good seeing you.

[Reid refers to two female serial killers]

Reid:
They didn't care about race or hair color, it's men that do.

Garcia:
[on webcam] Damn straight, men do.

Morgan:
Well hello Red. Look at you. Guys. [moves laptop for better view of Garcia's new red hair]

Prentiss:
Wow.

JJ:
Wow.

Garcia:
Okay, guys, I just got Samantha Malcolm's medical records and, oh my God, she was doomed. Like Emily Brontë doomed, like Shakespeare doomed, like red-shirted ensign in Star Trek doomed...

Reid:
These girls are what, like nine... nine or twelve years old, I'm assuming?

Doctor:
My PHD is on the effect of trauma on prepubescent girls. I do not appreciate what you're implying.

Reid:
Oh, I'm not - I'm not implying anything. I'm making an inference. An inference is an educated guess, and based on that, I form a hypothesis. For instance, my hypothesis here is that after you raped your daughter, you submitted her to electroshock treatments to make sure she stayed quiet.

Doctor:
This is outrageous.

Reid:
And then, out of guilt you bought her toys... more specifically, you bought her a line of dolls. Because that's what serial molesters do, they give gifts. So you continued the pattern with your other patients, and then once they left your care you added their toys to your collection.

Doctor:
I'm sorry. You can't back up your story... Doctor.

Reid:
This, this is why I love my job, Doctor, uh, because my lab - it's a jury of your peers, my tests will be Jenny Larson, Abigail Moore and Lynda Kraus. The DA will put them on the stand and I'm gonna personally bring these dolls in and we're gonna watch how they react.

Reid:
Isaac Asimov wrote, "In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate."

JJ:
"Life is a game; play it. Life is too precious; do not destroy it." Mother Teresa

[on the jet]

Garcia:
So I'm gonna snoop through dead kid's computers?

Rossi:
This plane seldom makes pleasure trips.

[Morgan sees a kid texting, which interrupts Reid's lecturing]

Morgan:
Hey kid, not a good idea. Let me see it. [reads the phone's text] 'What planet is this dude from? He doesn't want us to win the contest.'

Reid:
Um, I think the more accurate statement would be "he doesn't want us to participate in the contest," at all... This was Ryan's desk, right? This is where Ryan sat? You guys remember Ryan, he played football, took, took Shauna to prom, I'm assuming some of you were probably even friends with Ryan. Ryan, wanted to win the contest too, but when Ryan choked himself, he cut off all the oxygen to his brain which sent a distress signal to his heart, slowing it down. Then his brain, in an effort to preserve itself, shut off all non-essential bodily functions. His arms gave out, his legs gave out, which means that he couldn't loosen the tie around his neck, at which point panic set in, and in Ryan's case, it escalated to cardiac arrest, which means that his heart stopped. Brain damage began, and within four minutes, he was completely and totally brain dead. He died scared and probably in a lot of pain, and unable to stop what he thought he had complete control of, all because he wanted to participate what I consider to be a pretty, pretty lame game. So, I mean, your, your text is actually completely accurate, I don't want you to win the contest because I don't... I don't want you to play the game.

[watching Garcia talk to a suspect]

Rossi:
She's good, established rapport when Morgan and Reid couldn't.

Hotchner:
Should bring her out all the time.

Reid:
What is that?

Prentiss:
It's called a star puzzle. It's basically impossible to figure out. You have put all of the pieces back together to form a perfect star. But the origin of it, is um, kind of a romantic tale. There, was this young prince who wanted to win the heart of the fairest maiden in the land, so he climbed to the top of the tallest tower in the kingdom and he caught a falling star for her. Unfortunately, he was so excited that he dropped it and it smashed into all of these pieces, so he frantically put it back together again to prove his undying love to her and he succeeded. And they lived happily ever after.

Reid:
That doesn't make any sense.

Prentiss:
[pauses and gives Reid a glare] What do you mean?

Reid:
You can't catch a falling star. It would burn up in the atmosphere.

Prentiss:
Yeah, but it's not literal Reid. It's a fable.

Reid:
But there's no moral uh, fables have morals.

Prentiss:
Ok, so it's just a romantic little story. The point is, [Reid picks up the unsolved puzzle] it's basically impossible to do because you have to take all of those pieces and fit them together exactly... [Reid puts the solved puzzle on the table] There's a lot to hate about you Dr. Reid. [Morgan laughs]

Rossi:
Play poker with him sometime.

Morgan:
Try playing chess with him.

Garcia:
Or Go.

JJ:
Hotch.

Hotchner:
JJ, you don't have to.

JJ:
[plays with her necklace] My sister, gave this to me when I was eleven. She just came into my bedroom one afternoon and told me that no matter what happened, she loved me. This was her favorite necklace, so I told her I couldn't take it but she insisted. I, of course was secretly very happy because I always wanted one just like hers. That's the last time I, ever...

Hotchner:
I'm sorry.

JJ:
I think about her everyday. It does get better Hotch. Losing someone is never easy, but one day you'll remember her and you won't hurt. You'll be happy.

Hotchner:
Thank you. Thank you for everything.

JJ:
"Experience is a brutal teacher. But you learn -- my God, do you learn." C.S. Lewis

Rossi:
"If I am what I have and if I lose what I have, who then am I?" German psychologist Erich Fromm

Morgan:
Hey baby girl, it's me. You're on speaker.

Garcia:
Oh sugar I don't care who hears it. It's always been you.

Rossi:
CIA assigns an agent two or three aliases at most. Any more than that, it's difficult to get the names straight.

Morgan:
You're not enjoying this, are you?

Reid:
I like a good paper trail. I find it meditative.

Morgan:
Is it really that hard for you to be normal just one time?

Prentiss:
"Oh! what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!" Sir Walter Scott

Rossi:
"Show me a hero, and I will write you a tragedy" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Hotch:
There are lots of ways sons defeat their fathers.

Reid:
I just keep getting PhD's.

Rossi:
William Shakespeare wrote, "When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry."

JJ:
Nietzsche wrote, "Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torment of man."

Sarah Hillridge:
There is a moment in the morning when I just wake up and there is a split second of peace. And then it all comes back. All of it.

Sarah Hillridge:
How long have you been doing this, Dr. Reid?

Reid:
Five years, seven months, and nineteen days.

Sarah Hillridge:
In your experience what normally happens?

Reid:
Charlie was eight when he was taken, which means developmentally he was in middle childhood. He had a stronger sense of right and wrong and a growing understanding of his place in the world. Mentally, he had the ability to talk about his thoughts and feelings, while having less focus on himself and more concern for others.

Sarah Hillridge:
So, you think he's gonna be okay?

Reid:
With a mother like you, who did all this, I do. I'm a doctor. I put my faith in facts and statistical probabilities, but today eight parents are gonna have closure. Three children are going home with their families - all, because you believed your son was alive. This is as close to a miracle as I've ever seen.

Sarah Hillridge:
[walks into the briefing room where JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia are] I have been trying to think of something to say, and thank you doesn't even come close.

JJ:
You don't have to thank us.

Sarah Hillridge:
Yes I do. Do you know how long it's been since someone believed in me? [pause] You are just surrounded by darkness. Why do you do it?

[They look out at the families]

Prentiss:
Cause of days like this.

JJ:
Emily Dickinson wrote, "Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all."

Prentiss:
Tennessee Williams said, "We're all of us sentenced to solitary confinement inside our own skins, for life."

Rossi:
So, how long is it gonna take you to get in that ditch?

Reid:
Get in that ditch? I got shot in the knee, remember? My doctor said I'm not allowed to do any climbing.

Rossi:
It's a ditch.

[both pause, Reid takes a good look at Rossi's shoes before going into the ditch]

Reid:
New boots huh? Italian leather?

Rossi:
Yeah, what could I tell ya?

Rossi:
Do you have any ideas why?

Reid:
[long pause as Reid thinks] No.

Rossi:
Well, I guess there is a first time for everything. [walks off]

Reid:
Hey Rossi, I'm gonna need a little help getting out of this ditch. Rossi? Rossi? Hey... I got it.

Morgan:
Cristopher Lasch said, "Family is a haven in a heartless world."

Hotch:
Mother Teresa said, "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

Cooper:
I have a medical condition. I am allergic to bureaucracy

Mick:
So what are you wearing?

Emily:
A gun.

Mick:
You know, I could have just missed.

Emily:
With your ego? Not a chance

Prentiss:
"A lion's work hours are only when he's hungry; once he's satisfied, the predator and prey live peacefully together." -Chuck Jones

Hotchner:
"Many persons have the wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness...it is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." -Helen Keller

Reid:
[after getting excited about using MP5's] Hey guys, here's the thing, I don't think I technically have authorization to carry a weapon like that.

Morgan and Hotch:
You don't.

Sheriff:
[about Garcia] If you are looking for a gift to get me, one of her would be greatly appreciated.

Rossi:
We're pretty sure they broke the mold.

Emily:
[After walking into a very smelly trailer] Oh God!

Morgan:
At least we know we are in the right place.

Reid:
[While everyone else is covering their nose, and gagging] You guys, breathe though your nose like normal, smell is the weakest sense, in a few more minutes you won't even notice it.

Emily:
What about the taste?

Reid:
I think that's in your head.

Hotchner:
[After the Unsub has been shot down by Morgan using a MP5] Are you alright?

Morgan:
[Getting out of car] Yeah.

Emily:
No! [turning to Morgan] Are you out of your mind? You blew out my ear drum!

Morgan:
What did you want me to do? He was coming right at us.

Emily:
(annoyed) I told you I had him!

Morgan:
He was shooting at us, Emily!

Emily:
You could have given me a heads up!

Morgan:
A loaded MP5 and a lunatic shooting wasn't enough?

Prentiss:
Hey, where's Hotch?

JJ:
Budget meeting.

Morgan:
Maybe he'll get us a raise.

Rossi:
They're cutting, not raising. I just hope they don't take the coffee.

Reid:
I'd quit.

Rossi:
Oh, yeah. That'll save 'em, like, 50 bucks a week.

Hotchner:
Try not to shoot that in the car.

Rossi:
You mean try not to deafen you?

Reid:
Contrary to popular belief decapitation is not that easy.

Rossi:
Hmm. You don't often hear popular and decapitation in the same sentence.

Emily:
(walks into a room and smells decomposing bodies) Oh! God!

Morgan:
(follows her gasps of disgusts) Well at least we know we're in the right place!

Reid:
(from the "living room") Hey guys come look at this!

Emily:
(sarcastically) I'm ready for the "smell weakness" to kick in any minute, Reid!

Rossi:
"A sincere artist tries to create something which is, in itself, a living thing." painter William Dobell

[After getting a case right before the weekend]

Morgan:
There goes my beach house frontal.

Emily:
And my non-refundable tickets to a Sin-to-Win weekend in Atlantic City.

Morgan:
Sin-to-Win?

Emily:
Yeah, and I always win BIG.

Reid:
I didn't have any plans.

Policeman:
Why is it that when a man kills himself, he makes a big mess, but when a woman kills herself, there is no mess?

Rossi:
A woman thinks of who has to clean up the mess afterwards. Men don't give a damn.

Morgan:
[after finding a journal with minuscule handwriting, with Prentiss] Hey, Reid.

Reid:
What's up?

Morgan:
Our man here was a prolific journaler.

Prentiss:
With teeny tiny handwriting.

Reid:
He probably had counseling at some point, where journaling was part of his therapy.

Prentiss:
That's what we were thinking.

Reid:
[after a pause] And?

Morgan:
Well, you know, the two of us (Prentiss and himself), it would take us like 3 days to read all this stuff.

Reid:
You guys owe me.

Rossi:
Its like 110 out here, and it feels like a refrigerator compared to the warehouse.

Morgan:
How's Reid doing?

Rossi:
It doesn't even seem to faze him--he's sitting in a corner turning pages.

JJ:
Yeah, Reid goes to another place when he reads.

[Reid and Prentiss are playing cards]

Prentiss:
Three cards, please.

Reid:
[deals cards] Three cards for the lady . . . and I'm gonna take one card.

Prentiss:
Ooh, one card. Straight or a flush, Dr. Reid, what are you trying to fill in?

Reid:
Well, considering the odds of filling in an open-ended straight are five-to-one against, while a one-card flush draw is more like 4.5-to-one, I guess . . . [grimaces dramatically] you'd say if I was smart, I'd be drawing to a flush. Hmmm. . . . I think I'm gonna go all out on this. [smiles]

Prentiss:
[goes all out as well] So, are you?

Reid:
Am I drawing to a flush, or am I smart?

Prentiss:
Either.

Reid:
Well, I'm, you know, provably a genius, but, uh . . . actually, I was--I was drawing to a full house, eights over sixes.

Prentiss:
[sighs] I always forget you're from Vegas.

Reid:
Yep! [moves to take the winnings]

Prentiss:
Oh, I'm sorry, not so fast. I, too, have a boat--jacks over threes.

Reid Wait, you drew three cards to a full house? That's like 100-to-one against!

Prentiss:
97-to-one. Looks like you're out!

Morgan:
Hey, Prentiss, Sin-to-Win.

Prentiss:
I'm sorry, what?

Morgan:
Come on now, I gotta know. What the hell is a Sin-to-Win weekend in Atlantic City?

Prentiss:
Derek, I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, but there are some questions that if you have to ask them, it means you probably couldn't handle the answer. [gets up and walks away]

Morgan:
There is a whole other side to that woman.

Reid:
[dealing card combinations, confused] I never lose.

Morgan:
Whole other side.

Hotch:
Gandhi said, "I have seen children successfully surmount the effects of an evil inheritance. That is due to purity being an inherent attribute of the soul."

Garcia:
"Nature, in her most dazzling aspects or stupendous parts, is but the background and theatre of the tragedy of man." John Morley

[All agents are in a meeting when Rossi walks in late with an undone tie]

Morgan:
[to Rossi] Wow! What are you working on wife number 4?

Rossi:
I see you people way too much!

Hotch:
I guess we'll have to double up.

Morgan:
I am not sleeping with Reid.

Garcia:
[Grabs Morgan's hand] Dibs

[Garcia and Kevin talking on phone]

Kevin:
What do you mean, you're sharing a room with Morgan?

Garcia:
Oh, you're jealous.

Kevin:
Jealous? Why? Because you're bedding down with a muscle-bound, modern-day 007?

Garcia:
Mmm, he's more like Jason Bourne.

Kevin:
Oh, what's there to be jealous about?

Garcia:
He took the floor.

Kevin:
OK. Just... just make sure he keeps his weapon holstered, OK?

Garcia:
What's the difference of being strong and being jaded?

Garcia:
I kinda love you Derek Morgan.

Morgan:
I kinda love you Penelope Garcia.

Garcia:
Ralph W. Sockman said, "Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as real strength."

Hotch:
"The single biggest problem with communication, is the illusion that it's taken place" - George Bernard Shaw

JJ:
Well... hello [Reid walks into the room with a new, very short haircut]

Hotch:
[staring as Reid sits down next to him] What, did you join a boy band?

Reid:
No.

Rossi:
Can somebody explain to me the appeal of these sites? "Eating sushi tonight yum." "Boss is keeping me late tonight grrr." Whose life is so important that we'd be interested in this kind of detail?

Prentiss:
Social networking sites?

Garcia:
Yeah. Facebook, Twitter, you name, an online life-sharing time suck. The victims were on it. And if you look at each of their last posts, they say kind of the same thing. Going out of town, going on a business trip, going on vacation. But, when you look at the time and date stamp of each of these, cue the Twilight Zone music, because they were all posted the morning after the women went missing.

Rossi:
"The internet is the first thing that humanity has built that humanity doesn't understand - the largest experiment in anarchy that we have ever had." - Eric Schmidt.

Morgan:
Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote, "And out of the darkness came the hands that reached through nature, molding men."

[After Detective Spicer explains he blames himself for his parent's deaths]

Morgan:
I lost my father when I was nine years old; he was shot and killed right in front of me . . . and there was nothing I could do. So I choose to look at it like this: We all have people in our lives. Some of them are good. Some of them are bad. But they shape us, detective. That's why you're here right now.

Reid:
Evil can't be scientifically defined. It's an illusory moral concept that doesn't exist in nature. It's ordinal connotation has been inextricably linked to relgion and mythology.

Billy Flynn:
Think they'll remember me now?

Detective Matt Spicer:
You destroyed me, is that what you want to hear?

Billy Flynn:
[shrugs] Well, it's...better.

Detective Matt Spicer:
[to Morgan] Promise me she'll be okay, Morgan.

Billy Flynn:
Yeah. Promise him.

[Morgan, beaten, shakes his head]

Kristin Spicer:
Do it! Promise him!

Detective Matt Spicer:
Promise me, Morgan.

Derek Morgan:
Okay. Okay! I promise.

Detective Matt Spicer:
I love you, Ellie.

[Billy Flynn looks at Morgan, smiling, and shoots Spicer in the chest. Spicer falls to the floor, apparently dead]

Derek Morgan:
No! Spicer! [to the UnSub, angrily] What is wrong with you?!

[Billy Flynn smacks Derek with the gun and grabs Ellie, she and Kristin scream indistinctly]

Billy Flynn:
[holding Ellie] I don't usually take much to kids... [smells at Ellie's hair] But this one's, just, special.

Derek Morgan:
[angrily] We will find you, you sick son of a bitch!

Billy Flynn:
[mockingly] Is that another promise?

[he leaves with Ellie while Kristin screams desperately and the screen cuts to "To Be Continued"]