CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, Season 10

Nick:
It's not my spider dude.

Greg:
Seriously?

Nick:
Seriously.

Greg:
Little Stevie ? He's been missing for years. Gotta let Sara know, so she can tell her...

Nick:
... husband.

Catherine (as Greg is carrying a container of goo):
Mr. and Mrs. Decomp?

Greg:
'Til death do they centrifuge.

Nick:
Looks like we have an eyewitness. That should add to the circus.

Ray:
Doen't really matter what he has to say, everything we need to know is right here in front of us.

Catherine (after Doc Robbins takes a picture of Olivia and adds it to his scrapbook):
That's quite the ghoulish hobby you got there, Doc.

Doc Robbins:
I'm quite the ghoul.

Catherine:
Busy morning. We got a possible 420 at a weekly on Boulder Highway. Greg, you take it.

Greg:
Are you serious? You're sending me on a trash run at a fleabag motel?

Catherine:
What's the problem?

Greg:
I mean, why me? There are people here with less seniority.

Ray:
Present an accounted for.

Catherine:
Ray, it's alright.

Ray:
I'd be happy to do it.

Nick:
No, no, that's not the point, Ray. When a supervisor assigns you a case, you take it; he knows that.

Greg:
Who asked you?

Catherine:
Nick, I need you over here.

Nick:
You know better than that.

Catherine:
Nick! Greg, why don't you go over on the other side of the vehicle.

Greg:
Fine!

Ray:
According to the SMD's, Wilkes traveled 3.2 miles from the time of his last engine stop. Now, how do you travel that far, that wasted and sti l stay on the road?

Nick:
Individual tolerances vary, just ask Keith Richards.

Ecklie:
I heard from some uniforms that you guys had a little dust up at the scene.

Catherine:
It was just a spirited debate amoung colleagues. My team's very passionate about their work.

Ecklie:
Yeah, they're also understaffed and have been for a while, which is why I'm adding another CSI to your shift.

Catherine:
Ugh, Conrad. I don't have time to train anybody new.

Ecklie:
Don't worry. This one's been around the block. You're gonna get along just fine.

Ecklie:
Alright, look guys, I got a press conference in an hour and I'd rather not say something that I'll have to backtrack on later. Did Wilkes intentionally kill Olivia Hamilton?

Nick (same time as Ray):
I'd say so.

Ray:
I doubt it.

Catherine:
Maybe you should cancel the press conference.

Nick [to Ray]:
Shooting review board?

Ray:
Yeah. (reads the letter) They cleared me.

Nick:
Good. Kill or be killed, Ray. It's a terrible situation to be in, man, don't let it bother 'ya.

Ray:
It hasn't been bothering me. And that's what's been bothering me.

Ray (looking at photos of seatbelt bruises on Wilkes):
Wilkes was in the passenger seat, he wasn't driving the car. The real driver crashes into Olivia Hamilton, killing her. I don't think the crash broke Wilkes neck, I think the killer moved a drugged out Wilkes into the passanger seat, the killer leaves the scene. The headline reads "Stalker Kills Actress."

Catherine:
Which suggests that the killer knew Wilkes was a stalker.

Nick:
Well, he certainly picked the right nut job. Even though Wilkes survived, he still confessed to the crime.

Catherine:
Can Wilkes corrobarate any of this?

Ray:
Oh, he won't. He's too happy being the new Mark David Chapman.

Ecklie:
I really hope you're referring to Richard Wilkes. (slaps a magazine down on the table)

Ray:
I wasn't.

Catherine (looks at the front page that reads "Vegas Crime lab confirmed:
Stalker confessed"): Where'd they get this from?

Ecklie:
You tell me.

Catherine:
Well, I don't know.

Ecklie:
It's your job to know, Catherine. Nobody in this lab should be talking to the media about an open investigation, let alone one of this profile.

Nick:
Hey, take it easy, Ecklie. I'm sure she's not the leak.

Catherine:
I can defend myself.

Ecklie:
This is a discipline problem, Catherine. Just get a grip on your people. I'm beginning to think Riley was right about you.

Catherine:
What is that supposed to mean?

Ecklie:
You didn't read her exit interview. I put it on her desk. Just read it. (walks off, pissed)

Sara (walks in):
Uh... Hi, guys. This a bad time? (smiles)

Greg:
Sara! (they hug) What are you doing here? You tired of being happy and married?

Sara:
No, Grissom is guest lecturing at the Sorbonne, while we're waiting to get our research grant to get founded, and Ecklie; called and said the team was down a man and he wondered if I could recommend anyone. And you know, as much as I love Paris and my French is actually pretty good right now, I realized I missed you guys.

Greg:
Well, we miss you, too.

Sara:
So, uh, how's the world been treating you?

Greg:
Oh, you know, still being treated as the lab tech with the crazy hair.

Hodges (putting an apple on her desk):
It has ten percent of the FDA's requirements for vitamin C. If you don't have your health, you don't have anything.

Catherine:
Hodges, who did you blab to?

Hodges:
Nobody in the media, but I did mention something to Tom O'Neill. But only in passing and implicitly in confidence. I would point out that I had not been explicitly forbidden from discussing the case with law enforcement community. Uh, memo from my supervisor to that effect would have been helpful, not that I'm blaming you.

Catherine (throws the apple back at him):
Don't ever do anything like that again.

Hodges:
Thanks.

Ray (about O'Neill):
He's guilty, Catherine.

Catherine:
Okay, how are we gonna prove it?

Ray:
I don't know, but we will. (walks off)

Sara (walks up):
I like his attitude.

Catherine:
Reminds you of you? (Sara laughs)

Sara:
Funny thing is, the father's death was probably an accident.

Ray (about O'Neill murdering Olivia):
And Olivia's was premeditated. It irrtates me that we weren't able to get him for that.

Sara:
But you know what? We know what he did and so does he and he can spend the next 20 years of his life dreaming about his perfect crime. Think of it like busting Al Capone for tax evasion.

Catherine:
Sara, I know that you walked into some fireworks in the breakroom.

Sara:
What? Ecklie? Please.

Catherine:
No, I just read Riley's exit interview. She had some harsh things to say about my leadership, that the team's fractured, that it lacks cohesion because of me because of my managerial style. I don't know. I-I admit it, I admit that things are different since Grissom left.

Sara:
Well... it's like when a great baseball team loses its clean-up hitter; suddenly everybody's swinging for the fences and nobody's playin' small ball.

Catherine (smirks):
You're using a baseball analogy.

Sara:
Ah, apparently part of being married is attempting to share in your spouse's interests.

Catherine (chuckles):
Okay. That's a weird side of you.

Sara (smiles):
I know. ... Look, you still have a lot of great players and some new talent. Maybe you just need to reshuffle your lineup.

Catherine:
English, please?

Sara:
You are a great CSI Catherine, and you know how to manage your team. The only thing Grissom had that you don't... is you. (Catherine smiles)

Ray:
A man who wears a tuxedo every day doesn't forget his bow tie.

Catherine:
So what, someone took it?

Ray:
His bow tie's missing, his intestines are tied into a bow. That can't be a conscidence. I think Dr. Jekyll took it as a souvenir.

Catherine:
A souvenir? That's what serial killers do. JoJo died of natual causes.

Ray:
I have a bad feeling that this isn't the last time we're going to see Dr. Jekyll and I think next time he's not going to be content starting with a dead body.

Sara:
Craig, if we made you feel like you were paying for your father's crimes, then I'm sorry.

Craig:
You know, I never even met Mr. Millander, yet I'm more like a Millander than a Mason. You probably wonder how that happened.

Sara:
It has crossed my mind.

Craig:
My father, Doug Mason used to take me to the Halloween warehouse once a month. He told me that the owner, Mr. Millander was his friend, and he'd play with me with me just like every father would play with his son. Millander's costumes were like toys to me, and I'd tell my father every time that we went to tell this Mr. Millander that he was a genius. And then one day it all stopped, I lost both my father and my idol. And making masks and rubber hands is just my way of keeping the connection alive.

Ray:
See, Craig, you and I have something in common: We both have father's who killed people.

Craig:
Your father was a serial killer?

Ray:
No, he was a soldier in the Korean War. He even got a Bronze Star for his work.

Craig:
That's different.

Ray:
No it's not. See, even after the war was over, my father continued to fight, every once in a while he'd go out to a bar, not so much to drink, but to pick fights. I remember one day, he came home one day and was very excited. He had a black eye and a fat lip, and was bragging about how he had knocked somebody out. Said he hit the man so hard the paramedics had to peel him off the floor, said it was the most fun he had ever had.

Sara:
DNA came up empty. There is no sign of either victim on Craig Mason's clothes or shoes. I did notice some scars on his arm, I think he was using the straight razor to cut himself.

Nick:
Hodges analyzed the trace that was found on the outside of the webcam house, and it was a match to Craig's corpse make-up.

Catherine:
So we can put him at the house, but not in the house.

Greg:
And we have nothing so far that puts him at the drug dealer's house.

Catherine:
Keep looking. His mother hasn't bailed him out yet.

Sara:
I don't think she's going to. She had that look in her eye, that maybe he did it. It is classic escalation from peeper to murderer.

Ray:
He was a teenager, there were attractive women coming in and out of that house all the time. It doesn't seem that sinister to me, besides he didn't murder the person he was peeping.

Nick:
Maybe he saw Ryan Lester as competition. Lester was intimate with Marnie, Craig could only watch her from a distance.

Ray:
Alright, say that's true. What about the second victim, Cliff Kilo?

Catherine:
Extensive criminal record. Mostly drug related.

Ray:
Why would Mason murder a drug dealer? Did he have drugs in his system?

Greg:
No. Tox panel came back clean. And it wasn't about money, I mean, there was cash all over the house.

Ray:
If Craig wasn't a ghoul, and his father hadn't come after Grissom, would you be considering him at all? (they all look at each other, saying 'No')

Greg:
Porn house, drug house, Millander house in between, they must throw one hell of a block party.

Sara:
I have seen this mask before. Is it from a horror movie or something?

Nick:
This job is a horror movie. I don't even watch those anymore.

Nick (after turning off the water in the tub the victim is laying in):
Killer forgot that we're in a drought.

David (to Nick):
Sorry, I'm late. The freezer is still on the fritz from when those ROC dudes tore up the place. Not like we can hang a closed sign on the door or anything.

Nick (wondering to himself):
I wonder if the bedroom across the hall has a webcam, too?

David:
Uh, I'm pretty sure it does.

Nick:
How would you know somethin' like that?

David:
Nick, can I tell you somethin' personal?

Nick:
Maybe.

David:
Mrs. Phillips and I... occasionally enjoy a little... live stimulation to get us into the mood. (Nick smirks) What I'm saying, is that uh... I am intimately familiar with this bedroom. I subscribe to the website.

Nick:
Well, try and maintain your objectivity.

David:
Dude, of course. (they walk over towards the body and Sara)

Nick:
After you.

Sara:
Hey, David, I missed your face.

David:
Aww, it's good to see you.

Sara:
How's your wife?

David:
Why? What have you heard? (Sara looks confused and looks towards Nick who shrugs)

Doc Robbins [to Ray]:
You're in a room with no doors and windows. How do you get out?

Ray:
The same way you got in. (they laugh) Mm. I heard it this way: You're in a room with no doors and windows, there's a chainsaw and a table in the room. How do you get out?

Doc Robbins:
I give up.

Ray:
You cut the table in half. Two halves make a...

Doc Robbins:
A whole.

Ray:
And out you go. (they chuckle again)

Sara [to Craig]:
Las Vegas Police. We need you to step outside.

Craig (scoffs):
You aren't the police.

Nick:
That's alright, we brought one with us. Get your ass up.

Sara (after finding a dead crow, and horror props in Craig's room):
Scary masks, rubber hands, arts and crafts. What's this kid's name again?

Nick:
Craig... Mason.

Sara:
As in Judge Mason? AKA Paul Millander. Craig Mason is Paul's adopted son. The son of Millander.

Sara (after finding a dead crow in Craig's room):
Satanists have been known to collect dead crows to keep the smell of death around them.

Nick:
How do you know that? Grissom?

Sara:
Ozzy Osbourne. I loved Black Sabbath... for a summer.

Nick:
Well, in that case, I guess we're lucky that the head's still on it. (Sara smirks)

Brass:
Nature or nuture? You choose. Either way this kid Mason's a freak. And the only thing he hates more than cops is CSIs. He even mentioned Grisson's name a few times.

Sara:
Well, then I won't mention that I am Mrs. Grissom.

Brass:
Oh, you took his last name. (Sara laughs and shakes her head)

Catherine [to Ray]:
I'm learning that when I can't find you, I should look down here.

Ray (is trying to tie organs into a bow using a lathroscope):
This is very difficult. It's like attempting to tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue.

Catherine:
I can do that. ... After a few drinks.

Ray:
Our Dr. Jekyll has some remarkable surgicial skills.

Catherine:
Dr. Jekyll?

Ray:
Who ever mutilated Mr. Biglow.

Catherine:
What remarkable surgeon steals a dead man off the streets, practices on him and then dumps him in an alley?

Ray:
No surgeon I ever met.

Catherine:
You did get permission from the family to use this body for research?

Ray:
Not necessary. Take a look. (Cath lifts the blanket, revealing a pig, she smiles) I'm hosting a luau later.

Catherine:
Well, don't invite Sara. And before you put on your grass skirt, put Pinky on a spit, I need you in layout.

Catherine:
So Jason and whoever killed him were out in the woods blowing up a safe?

Ray:
Which suggests that they were planning a good old fashioned robbery.

Catherine:
You know that my dad was a casino boss, right? Every few weeks he had to collect the revenue from all of his low-end, low-volume operations. Nickel slots from bars, mini-marts, grocery store keno, that kind of thing. And we're not talking small potatoes, either. A quarter mil, easy, even on a bad month. An armored truck would go around town making the pick-ups. But when they were done, the bank would be closed. So they would drive to Sam's business office, where he kept a big ol' vault in a room all by itself. Sam loved showing it off to me as the sacks of coin and bricks of cash went into it. Anyway, the money would go into the vault and stay there until the next morning when the armored car guys would return and take it to the bank. I think we need to find out if there's a safe on the premises.

Nick:
Knowing the deep, dark secrets of your co-workers is a slippery slope.

Ray:
There was a time in my life where that could've come in handy. (they all give him a look) I used to work along side an angel of death.

Catherine (looks at the files):
It's mostly online shopping and DVD rentals. I take it the office firewalls porn.

Greg:
Don't they all.

Ray:
Action figures and anime, for the computer guy, that's always the cliche.

Nick:
Lemme guess, you were a G.I Joe guy?

Ray:
No, but my dad was.

Catherine:
This looks like an implantable RFID. Radio frequency identification chip?

Doc Robbins:
Yeah, I know they're used for tracking inventory at Walmart. And unless the 13th Amendment got repealed while I wasn't looking, (points to a picture of the victim) that's not inventory.

Catherine:
Implantable RFID are pretty new. There's some high-end nightclubs that give them to their VIPs to make it easy for them to run up a tab.

Doc Robbins:
Oh, yeah. Having a chip surgically implanted in your body is so much more convenient than putting a credit card in your pocket.

Catherine:
Well, not everything I wear out has pockets.

Doc Robbins:
I'll buy you a purse.

Ray (seeing Hodges looking at himself through the computer camera):
So, they say some people have a good side and a bad side. What's the verdict?

Hodges:
I don't seem to have a bad side.

Ray [to Nick]:
What's the angriest you've ever been?

Nick:
I've been mad enough to kill somebody, didn't do it. You?

Ray:
High threshold, short fuse.

David:
Me too. In high school, I vented my frustrations by devising elaborate tortures for my classmates. In comic book form, of course.

Nick:
Well, whether the killer woke up this morning with the intention to beat this guy to death or not, right now, he's a new man, with a new plan and a big fat secret.

Ray:
Secrets are hard to keep.

Nick:
If the killer is smart, he is already out of town, laying on a beach somewhere and drinking a margarita.

Ray:
Well, let's hope he is not that smart, then.

Catherine:
Finn took action in the line of duty. Johnson was trying to help a kid at risk.

Nick:
So where's the bad guy in this?

Ray:
You tell me.

Ray [to Sara]:
Look, when I had a gun pulled on me, I didn't check for skin color before I pulled the trigger. Finn's motives are not what we're after, just the evidence that's gonna tell us about his actions. (Sara smiles, that reminds her of someone: Grissom)

Detective Moreno (looking at the computer screen):
Now, each dot represents a crime involving firearms. And this is just in the last year.

Sara:
Wow. You leave town for a while and all hell breaks loose.

Nick:
Eyes are gonna be on us every move we make.

Ray:
They already are. (motions to the crowd behind them)

Ecklie:
Sara, glad to see you back.

Sara:
Ecklie.

Ecklie:
How was your week off in Paris?

Sara:
Dr. Grissom sends his regards.

Doc Robbins:
You know, in ancient times, coup de grace was considered an act of mercy, quick blow to end the suffering of a comrade wounded in battle.

Sara:
Whatever this was, it was no act of mercy.

Greg [to Denise]:
You said you waited until the shooting stopped to go outside.

Denise:
I know what I saw, and I know what I heard. There were a whole bunch of guns going off, then it quiet, then one last and that cop was standing over that poor man. I saw a murder.

Brass:
I put my crediblity on the line for you. CSIs said excessive force, I said 'no way'.

Officer Finn:
That's right.

Brass:
Oh, yeah? (plays the dispatch recording of Officer Finn calling Sergeant Johnson a black son of a bitch)

Officer Finn:
I don't remember saying that.

Union Rep:
I'm advising you not to speak, not until we hear the full recording and the witness statements.

Officer Finn:
You think I'm racist? I don't remember, if I said he was black, I was decribing the suspect. I was so focused on what the gun was doing I...

Brass:
Did you see his face?

Officer Finn:
No, it was dark out.

Brass:
Are you telling me, you didn't recognize Scott Johnson? He was a trainee, he rode with you, he was your partner for four months. You spent 8 hours a day in a car together. You saw more of him than you did of your wife.

Union Rep:
This was over 5 years ago.

Brass:
Are you telling me you didn't recognize a guy who put a formal complaint in your file for racial discrimination? Let me read this to you: (starts reading the complaint) "Frequent and excessive use of racial epithets including the 'N' word."

Officer Finn:
First of all, no. I didn't recognize Johnson. And second, yeah, I use street talk with the trainees.

Brass:
Come on, you know that doesn't fly anymore.

Officer Finn:
But believe me, what they get from me is nothing compared to what they're gonna get from the real gorillas in the jungle.

Union Rep:
That's a poor choice of words.

Officer Finn:
I am training them for the real world and out of the dozens and dozens of people I have trained, and that is every color of the rainbow, pal. That hard ass was the only one who ever complained. The only one. He's the racist, not me.

Ray:
I was teaching at WLVU when Coach Miller won his second conference title. And everybody loved him, treated him like a god.

Catherine:
Even gods have enemies.

Sara (to Greg as the crane is pulling a car out of the water):
Did you find Nemo?

Greg:
Not unless Nemo was a Beem-O.

Doc Robbins:
Coach was struck at least a dozen times.

Nick:
A lot of rage here.

Doc Robbins:
Agreed. The multiple impacts crushed his skull and drove bone fragments into his brain, causing catastrophic hemorrhaging. It's like when you push your finger into a hard-boiled egg. The shell cracks but the pieces stay in place.

Nick:
Thanks for ruining another breakfast for me.

Doc Robbins:
It's what I do.

Doc Robbins:
C'mon, you're not gonna ask me about the zombie thing?

Nick:
Well, you're obviously eager to tell me.

Doc Robbins:
Well, damage was predominantly on the right side of the brain to the neo-cortex which controls thought, language and reason. It was almost completely destroyed. But the paleo-cortex which lies beneath it remained intact. The paleo-cotrex controls learned instinct and rituals. Which explains why the victim was able to brush his teeth and eat his breakfast without noticing that he was bleeding.

Nick:
They never seem to get that right in zombie movies.

Catherine:
That's a lot of computing power for a football coach.

Ray:
It's a complex game, two teams, 11 players each play crafted with multiple levels of redundancy and yet most academics and intellectuals prefer baseball. I suppose it's for the poetry.

Catherine:
I just like to watch the guy's hit each other and I like their butts.

Julian:
Captain, do you know how much the university pays campus security?

Brass:
Well, I know prison inmates make 15 cents an hour. Is it less than that?

Nick:
Did you ever play football?

Ray:
Yes. You know, the real football... (makes soccer motions) ... with your feet.

Nick:
Soccer.

Ray:
Well, I never called it that. I was born in Seoul, South Korea. And my dad was career military man, I grew up in bases all around the world and we just called it football. What about you?

Nick:
I'm from Austin. I grew up playing football.

Ray:
I need a couple of volunteers.

Wendy:
Okay, I'm in. (she looks towards Hodges who doesn't say anything. Hodges shakes his head) He would love to.

Ray:
Thanks.

Hodges:
Can I at least hear what I'm volunteering for, considering I've just been drafted.

Ray:
Campus police always circled Coach Miller's house, they would've noticed a parked car. I'm thinking the killer approached on foot.

Wendy:
And since the killer was most likely associated with the university, that means that he would've walked back to his place on campus--

Hodges:
Ditching the murder weapon and blood evidence along the way. It's all very Mission Impossible.

Wendy:
What are you talking about? It's a great theory. (to Ray) It's a great theory.

Ray:
Thank you. Can we go?

Hodges:
I'm eating.

Ray:
There's plenty of food where we're going.

Brass:
You know what this is?

Pal:
Looks like a fingerprint.

Brass:
Yeah, yours. Found on your .38 caliber Smith and Wesson, found in your car with a dead hooker.

Pal:
Sounds like you're accusing me of something.

Brass:
I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm charging you with vechicular manslaughter and negligent homicide.

Pal:
Well, why don't you charge me with the JFK assassination while you're at it?

Brass:
Nah, I'll let you slide on that one. But I could add in first degree murder of Coach Miller.

Pal:
Now, that's not funny.

Pal:
You found my Beemer? Good work, boys.

Brass:
When you reported it stolen, did you know there was a dead girl inside?

Pal:
Well, it came fully loaded, but a dead girl wasn't part of the package.

Brass:
I lose my sense of humor when it comes to murder.

Hodges (after he finds the murder weapon in the garbage):
Ah-ha! Touchdown!

Wendy (sighs):
Nicely done.

Hodges:
You know I'm not a CSI... by choice.

Wendy (continues searching the garbage and finds more evidence):
Hey, Hodges? (holds up a shoe with blood on it) That's probably for the best.

Ray:
Sometimes, when God closes a door, Satan opens a window.

Greg:
Where have you been?

Hodges:
I was dialoging with Conrad. What else have you been touching?

Greg:
Have you run the trace from cash tray? (Hodges hands him the file, Greg reads it) Dust bunnies?

Hodges:
Comprised of dirt, pollen, metal shavings and fecal matter. Did you know that most dust contains trace amounts of poop? Even in hospitals.

Greg:
What about the white fragment?

Hodges:
Eh, still in the works. Alright, I know you're dying to know, so I'm just gonna tell you. I was talking to Onrad-Cay about Endy-Way and an ansfer-tray to the ield-fay.

Greg:
I need the trace ow-nay. (goes to leave) Oser-lay.

Ray (about the burnt matches):
Maybe you could pull DNA.

Wendy:
I knew you were takin' all the classes, I didn't realize you knew all about DNA.

Ray:
I don't know all about it, yet. But I did learn that burned materials used to be collected in paint cans, and plastic bags which preserves accelerant but destroys DNA, which no one knew until recently can survive fire damage.

Wendy (smiles):
I take it you passed.

Ray:
You take it right.

Catherine:
You said that Tommy got violent when you tried to process him? He refused medical treatment, he went home and showered, and according to his brother, he wouldn't talk about what happened. If this were a woman, what would you think?

Nick:
I'd think she was raped.

Ray:
So, Wayne Smith sexually assaulted Tommy Baker.

Nick:
Which gives Tommy motive to kill the bastard. If I were Tommy, I'da killed him, too.

April:
And don't be surprised if Mr. Baker never admits he was raped. Odds are, you'll probably close the case on lack of co-operation and then make fun of him around the office. Have a nice day, Mr. Stokes.

Nick:
Hey, what is your problem? I'm just trying to do my job here.

April:
I've watched you guys stand over dead bodies and crack jokes. I still see a human being when all you see is evidence. Which, might make you a good investigator, but it also makes you cold, hard, people.

Nick:
So you can feel compassion for dead people? But you can't feel it for someone who's alive, wearing a badge, tryin' to help. Good luck with that. Enjoy your sandwich.

Greg:
Why'd the killer put the gun back in the register? Langston? ... Ray? ... I'll answer my own question. You see, Greg, cop pulls you over and finds cash on you, no big deal. If he finds a gun, then you're going to jail.

Nick:
A St. Christopher medal with blood on it?

Catherine:
Could belong to the victim.

Nick:
Yeah, it didn't do him much good, did it?

Catherine:
That's because he's the patron saint of travel. Eddie used to have one hanging on his rear-view, didn't do him much good either.

Catherine:
What's with all the blood?

Hooker:
Oh, don't take that tone with me, blondie. This is the blood on an innocent Samaritan.

Brass:
Oh, yeah? We got a special on Samaritans, we're arresting them tonight.

Brass [to the hooker]:
What are you doing in the alley?

Hooker:
I was looking for my cat, she's lost.

Brass:
Yeah. What's your cat's name?

Hooker:
Pussycat.

Brass:
Now, why didn't I know that?

Wendy:
What is up with Ecklie?

Hodges:
Excuse me?

Wendy:
He said he's not gonna let anybody else pull a Sanders. I don't get to go out in the field. And the thing that really pisses me off about this, I have recommendation letters from Grissom, Catherine and Nick in my file. It didn't make any difference to him. I mean, it's ridiculous, this is supposed to be a meritocracy.

Hodges:
Since when?

Wendy:
Et tu, Hodges?

Hodges:
It's a bureaucracy. Just keeping it real. You want me to talk to Conrad for you?

Wendy:
Yeah, no, I can talk to him myself.

Hodges:
You sure? We're in book club together and Conrad respects my opinion. At least where Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is concerned.

Wendy:
I thought you were against me going from lab rat to field mouse?

Hodges:
I just want you to be happy.

Nick:
So, you catch a guy burglarizing your store. You wanna teach him a lesson, I get it. so you beat him, stab him or maybe even shoot him. But do you have to rape him?

Ray:
Greek warriors in ancient times would sodomize their enemies after a battle, to humiliate them, take their manhood...

Nick:
Yeah, yeah. I understand the concept of humiliation: rape isn't about sex, it's about violence. But this is a little excessive, don't you think?

Ray:
Well... for some men... violence is their sex.

Greg:
Looks like Jack Sparrow's been here.

Ray:
What's a weather girl from Barstow doing turning tricks in Vegas?

Nick:
These days, it seems like everybody has a second job.

Ray:
We're going to impoud your vehicle, Mr. Sedesky.

Brass:
Don't worry, we'll give you a ride.

Catherine (to Brass):
Back in my dancing days, pimps would come to the club to recruit. They just have a gift for sniffing out the damaged and needy.

Brass:
We got a dead woman, no ID in her purse, 40 dollars in cash, a half of dozen condoms, a few roofies and some baby wipes. What does that tell 'ya?

Nick:
Standard hooker tool kit. $20 for cab fare, $20 for the bartender to look the other way. Which means she probably hasn't tricked yet. Looks like words already gotten out on the hoe-vine.

Ray:
The hoe-vine?

Brass:
Yeah, when the hookers get wind of cops, they start texting each other like mad and they then book outta here like a shot.

Hodges:
If you're gonna keep making me do Archie's job, I'm gonna need a raise.

Nick:
Lemme know what Ecklie says to that.

Hodges:
I was hoping you'd ask. You're a supervisor now.

Nick:
Yeah, well, it's good to hope for things.

Wendy:
What is this stuff?

Greg:
Langston sent us some souvenirs from Miami and New York.

Catherine (unwraps a mini-statue of Liberty):
Mm. I was kinda hopin' for a little somethin', somethin' from Burgdorff's.

Wendy:
I love it.

Hodges (puts on sunglasses with palm trees on the side):
How do I look?

Greg:
Bitchin'.

Catherine:
Ridiculous.

Brass [to Anthony]:
We also found Deede Chase's driver's license, how'd that get in there?

Anthony:
Deede partied with my girls for a couple days. Asked me to hold on to her valuables when she went clubbin.

Brass:
Did she also ask you to beat her, rape her, and slit her throat?

Hodges (seeing Greg's bowling ball that looks like a dice):
Somebody's rearview mirrors a little lighter.

Catherine (after she bowls a gutter ball):
I hate this! I hate this. That happens every single time!

Hodges:
Y'know, don't be afraid to rock the granny bowl, Cath.

Nick:
You sure do know a lot about bowling.

Greg:
Uh... Mechanical engineering class, we took a field trip to a bowling alley.

Nick:
Every Saturday night, family league.

Greg:
Yeah. You any good?

Nick:
Ah, I'm not bad.

Nick:
And what about all this bowling gear, it wouldn't happen to be stolen, now would it?

Vitis:
I don't know donkey about bowlin', man. That's Ron-Ron's thing.

Nick:
You just told me you worked at the bowling supply company.

Vitis:
Yeah, but I just started there. And like I said that's Ron-Ron's thing.

Nick:
Yeah, and so is this car. You're movin' out today, buddy. Come on.

Vitis:
What are y'all doin' up so early?

Nick:
Get outta there.

Nick:
Time for a toast. Bowling is a family sport. I'd like to raise a glass to our CSI family. Cheers. (they all drink) But unfortunately, it's time to give the family a little ass-whoppin'. (they all laugh)

Hodges:
Oh, really?!

Catherine:
All of us?

Ray:
Be careful, Nick, don't let your mouth write a check that your ass can't cash.

Everyone:
Ooh!

Catherine (after Sara bowls and one pin is left):
Ooh, Sara that pin is flippin' you off!

Catherine (to Ray):
Well, this is what's been buggin' me, with Joey Bigelow, Jekyll took the man's bowtie, and then left him another bowtie, so to speak, inside his body. And with Bernie, Jekyll gave him another appendix. I'm just wonderin' what did he take? (walks off, Ray ponders this)

Nick (reading the "Closed Notice" at Harry's):
"Notice closed by the board of health. Suspected point origin of hepatitis B outbreak. Date of closure 7/3/09." Oops.

Hodges:
That was five months ago.

Henry:
Nice, you were gonna give me hepatitis for my birthday.

Nick:
I think we got a dead body here, boys.

Henry (unenthused):
Best birthday, ever.

Henry:
Maybe the raccoon lept through that window ninja style, and before this guy could shoot it, it landed on him and chewed his face off. Well, I guess we should call it in, huh? Oh, that's right, we have no reception!

Shirley:
You think I don't know what you see when you look at us? (takes a sip of her martini) Bunch of ignorant drunk crackers. Shiftless peckerwoods. Lemme tell you somethin', we built this outta nothin' with our hands, or sweat and or determination. Mayor of Vegas used to eat here.

Greg:
(whispers to Hodges) Alright, if I can't find a phone, I'm gonna make one. Keep an eye on her. (walks off)

Shirley:
We had politicians, celebrities, rubbin' up elbows with the common man. Some nights, we had eight, ten limos stacked out up front. Then Harry took off, it all went to hell. He didn't care who he hurt. (making another martini) Are you sure, that I can't fix you boys one of these?

Hodges:
Uh... I could use the little boy's room.

Shirley:
Ah, toilet is all stuffed up. There's one in the basement. But, you don't wanna use that one, believe me. There's like, a million black widow spiders down there. It's like a black widow convention is what it is. You just like puff and die. Use the bushes. (Hodges goes to leave)

Henry:
(grabs his arm and whispers) Whoa, whoa, what am I supposed to do?

Hodges:
You heard Greg, keep an eye on her.

Shirley:
(pours Henry some whiskey) You are gonna drink a man drink, just like that. (Henry chuckles nervously)

Shirley:
This place was a gold mine. That man, he walked away with 250,000 dollars. All I got... (hands Henry a postcard that reads "Florida" on the front) was a postcard. Just to rub my face in it.

Henry (reading the postcard):
"Shirley, by the time you read this, I'll be sippin' pina coladas, on an island somewheres far away with the new love of my life who is much younger than you. Don't come lookin' for me 'cause I'm all gone. Good-bye, Harry.

Shirley:
Have you ever heard somethin' so mean in all your life? (sniffles)

Henry:
No, ma'am.

Shirley:
You're real cute, you know that? ... Now, What'd you say y'all come out here for again?

Henry:
It's my birthday!

(Shirley squeezes happily and climbs on Henry's lap)

Shirley:
Why don't you come over here and give your Auntie Shirley some sugar?

Henry:
(laughs uncomfortably and starts to lean away) Uh, no, I can't, I'm engaged. I'm married, actually. I have syphilis!

Shirley:
Perfect. Me too.

Henry:
(muffled) Help!

Ray (about the footprint):
Does that look like a cowboy boot print to you?

Sara:
Texas sized.

David:
Ran over by a car, fell down a well, attacked by coyotes, poisoned by a spider, lost in a cave, traded for a Mike Schmitt baseball card, and my favorite, (Sara walks in) given to a farm. Alledgely.

(Sara looks confused, looks at Henry)

Henry:
The tragic fates of the Phillips' family dogs.

Greg:
The guy stands in the middle of a 3-way shootout and walks out alive?

Nick:
Was he just lucky, or bulletproof?

Sara:
Hey, guys, I know you're slammed, but this is the round we pulled from our female vicims German shepherd.

Bobby:
Looking for the truth about Gats and dogs? (they laugh) A little ballistics humor there for you.

Greg (holds up a stuffed animal):
I mean, is this what women really want?

Catherine:
It's what men think women really want. Like candy, it's sweet and hard to resist but sooner or later we just want some meat and potatoes.

Greg (imitating the stuffed animal talking):
All women I take out usually just order a salad.

Catherine (laughs):
God, I used to have drawers of this crap from guys. Now, I just want a man that I can count on.

Ray (about a picture):
Does this look like it was taken from the top of the Stratosphere?

Sara:
No, it's not high enough. It's gotta be the Ivory Tower sky deck, it's kind of a dumpy old tourist trap with a nice view of the methadone clinic across the street. I'll take you there sometime.

Ray:
Gee, thanks.

Brass [to Mr. Trent]:
We have a warrant to search your house.

Mr. Trent:
What's this about?

Sara:
An overdue library book.

Catherine:
(watching the record) What about all these guys?

Greg:
Lots of approaches, no landings. The bartender was right. There was an altercation between the girls. Nothing to write Penthouse about.

Catherine:
Why didn't you just report it?

Fiore:
Well, if I called the cops and you found them, then there would be reports saying that I had brought a girl back to my room. And I couldn't take the risk of my wife finding out. She's an heiress, has all the money. Simple cost-benefit analysis.

Catherine:
How does that analysis work? Their lives for your wallet?

Fiore:
The solve rates for murders, for homicides in Clark county? 62%. My wife finds out that I'm philandering? That's a 100% chance of divorce.

Fiore:
Look, it was a mathematical certainy that a woman like that would report the assault or she would blackmail me for the rest of my life. So, the only logical thing to do was to kill her.

Greg:
And you applied that same logic when Karen Jones showed up at your door?

Fiore:
You know what the stupid girl did? She pointed a gun at me and she demanded that I give her 50,000 dollars for her friend's funeral.

Catherine:
Well, according to my math, the 50,000 dollars you saved is gonna cost you 20 years to life.

Fiore:
Look, I-I am a good man. I work hard. I love my wife. I contribute to society. I mean, these people, you deal with them all the time. And those girls? They were just... They were just worthless criminals.

Catherine:
No, they were human beings. You're the worthless criminal.

Doc Robbins (as Ray is observing the body):
He's talking to you, isn't he?

Ray:
Yes. Sometimes I wish they'd say more.

Doc Robbins:
Sometimes I wish they'd shut up.

Nick:
What're the chances there's another guy in Vegas cutting out organs on the DL?

Ray:
No, this is Dr. Jekyll's work. I never would have expected him to look like Juan.

Nick:
Nah, that's not him. Hey, Dr. Frankenstein had Igor, maybe Dr. Jekyll has Juan.

Ray:
Four months ago, our Dr. Jekyll made a bow-tie with Joey Bigelow's intestines. A month ago, he implante a subperfial appendix into Bernard Higgins. Supectomy and splenectomy are routine procedures. If he did this, he's not limiting himself to perversity, he's operated both inside and outside the box.

Doc Robbins:
A true Jekyll and Hyde.

Wendy:
But I also found a second contributer in the grout sample, it was an unknown male.

Ray:
They were probably my epithelials. I had to palpate the grout, you can't do that with gloves on.

Wendy:
Well, in that case I just need a sample of your DNA and I will exclude you.

Ray:
My DNA? Which would go into a database.

Wendy:
Your fingerprints are already in AFIS, what's the difference?

Ray:
There's a big difference. You're gonna have to put in your report that I said no.

Catherine:
Mr. Fiore, there's been a development, we need your major case prints.

Fiore:
I already gave you my prints. And I admitted to killing Karen Jones in self-defense.

Greg:
That was a standard ten-card. Gimme your right hand.

Fiore:
And if I refuse?

Catherine:
Then I'm gonna get six of the biggest deputies you've ever seen to come in here and... assist you.

Nick:
You know, Ray, for somebody who doesn't like golf, you seem to know an awful lot about it.

Ray:
It's not that I don't like golf. It's just that you have to focus your mind, practically every fiber of your begin on a small white ball that you wanna hit just the right way, and then when you hit it, the feeling is exhilerating. And so you chase the small white ball all day, so you can hit it exactly the same way. You chase that feeling. Kinda like cocaine. Not exactly the best hobby for an obsessive personality.

Nick:
Yeah, people like that are better suited for a job in criminalists.

Catherine (after Hodges finds the primary crime scene):
See what you can accomplish when your pride's on the line.

Hodges:
Everyday of my life.

Sara:
So, Dr. Ray, what's your handicap?

Ray:
I don't play golf.

Nick:
I thought all doctors played golf.

Sara:
Maybe only the rich ones.

Nick:
Now, that's true, anybody can play golf, there are plenty of public golf courses.

Sara:
Sure there are.

Ray:
Mark Twain referred to golf as: 'A good walk, spoiled'. (Sara laughs)

Nick (laughs):
It can be, if you don't stay in bounds, believe me.

Catherine (to Ray):
So we've got a club head cover, but no clubs... A little overdressed for night putting!

Catherine:
In other words, you got nothing.

Hodges:
When you put it that way, it makes me sound ineffectual.

Catherine:
(smirks) That's the secret to good leadership.

Greg:
I was just thinking about the first time I went joy riding.

Nick:
You? Really?

Greg:
I was 12. My Papa Olaf just bought a red 280 ZX, man it was love at first sight. And I have no idea what made me thought I could get away with it, but when Papa O went down for his afternoon nap, I swiped the keys a took it for a spin.

Nick:
Where'd you go?

Greg:
Around the block... twice. And when I was rolling it back into the driveway, I almost ran over my foot. Papa Olaf woke up had no idea and never found out.

Sara:
So, we're looking for a yellow street racer in Las Vegas. Great. That should narrow it down to a few hundred suspects.

Hodges:
The suspect hides the murder weapon in plain sight, in her auto shop class. Pretty sophisticated for a high school girl, right?

Wendy:
Well, she's definitely more sophisticated than the ones you chat with on the Twilight message boards.

Catherine:
You don't look nearly busy enough.

Archie:
Well, thank you. It is my gift to look relaxed while doing many things. Unlike Hodges, who has the ability to look overwhelmed while really doing nothing at all.

Catherine:
When you are young, you think you are immortal and when you get older you just want to remember how that felt. Driving crazy fast on open road…

Nick:
We are not getting old, are we?

Sara:
It's Cindy Warner's phone.

Nick:
They say the only way to get a cell phone from a teenage girl is to pry it from her cold dead hand.

Sara:
Well, whoever they are, let's hope they're wrong.

Nick:
Two cars, dead of night, a girl at the end of a lonely stretch of a quarter mile straight away, this was a drag race.

Sara:
With Cindy at the finish line, in every sense of the word.

Nick:
On the night before his last drive from home to school, Trevor drove about 14 miles in the course of about an hour of a half without turning his engine off. So that's a 7 miles out, 7 miles back... 7 mile search radius.

Sara:
And just before he made that trip, was the last time Cindy Warner was seen.

Catherine:
I've got a bad feelin' about this.

Ray:
I've seen access denied, but access restricted?

Sara:
Denied is get lost. Restricted, that's like a fence you want to climb over.

Doc Robbins:
Put down the saw! Step away from the guitar. You were about to commit murder on an immaculate '62 Fender jazz bass with the original factory paint.

Nick:
So, what?

Doc Robbins:
For someone from the Great State of Texas, you show very little respect for a true American art form.

Nick:
Hey, just 'cause I'm from Texas doesn't mean I like country music.

Lynn Stecker:
If someone wanted to plant blood, they could do it in any crime scene. What kind of a monster would kill a kid to accomplish that?

Brass:
The same kind of monster who couldn't just divorce Samantha Rose.

Hodges:
You know, I read something a while back. Said that the distance from home that the average parent would allow their 9 year old to wander had shrunk to a tenth of what it was when I was a kid.

Catherine:
The world's a scarier place, that's for sure.

Hodges:
Oh, I was terrified back then. But a boy who ventures out thinking the world isn't a place to hide from, shouldn't be proven wrong.

Vartann:
I just don't get these two idiots. They're born into money. They graduated good schools. Their daddies paid for it all.

Catherine:
Sounds like you've got an issue with rich people.

Vartann:
No. I got an issue with rich kids killing poor kids.

Vartann:
(to Catherine) I always thought that I was... you know, better alone, you know? But I miss having someone to come home to. (after few seconds) I didn't mean to put you on the spot. Just wanted you to know.

Hodges:
And, uh, you can tell Homeland Security that the quantity of radioactive material in this is infinitesimal and poses no threat.

Catherine:
Oh, you can tell them. Hang on a second. No. If-if the radiation source is infinitesimal, why are you wearing three lead aprons?

Hodges:
Despite my aversion to children, sperm count.

Wendy [to Hodges]:
That's what you're doing, you're lying to children?

Hodges:
It's a teaching exercise.

Wendy:
It's an exercise in self-love.

Hodges:
Just play along and be a role model, please?

Wendy:
Uh, no. Why would I play along with you?

Hodges:
Because if you can't even imagine yourself out in the field, how will you ever expect Ecklie to?

Hodges:
You see, Wendy suspected what I was up to, and she was urging me to come clean. I swear, it'll never happen again. Mea culpa. (to Henry) Can you forgive me?

Catherine:
(to Hodges) This is going to go on your permanent record. (to Henry) You got your confession. Happy?

Henry:
Hmm.

Catherine:
Nobody likes a snitch.

Brass:
Okay, let me get this straight, you'd rather do the legwork on a next-of-kin notification you'd rather do that than slog around in the sewer looking for evidence? I mean, that-that is not the down and dirty Sara Sidle I used to know.

Sara:
I like to know where haters come from.

David (walking in the sewer to get the body):
I think I bumped into every piece of dog poop and used condom in the city of Las Vegas.

Catherine:
Oh, David, suck it up. (sees the body) There he is.

David:
Yep, he's dead.

Officer Mitch:
David, you think you have a hard job?

David:
Well, Officer, I am the one who has to haul him out of here.

Nick:
Well, the only way to get something as big as a body into the draining system is through an access point on the line. And this one is the first one upstream.

Greg (looking into the man hole):
Looks like there's a service platform down there.

Nick:
Mmmhmm.

Greg:
Feelin' lucky?

Nick:
Well, it is Vegas. After you.

Greg [to Carl]:
Okay, you don't have to talk if you don't want to. But if you're smart, you'll write down everything that happened that night. (slides a notepad and a pen over to him) In your own words, so at least we'll have your side of the story. (Carl writes something down, and slides the notepad over to Greg. It reads 'I want a layer.') You want a layer?

Carl:
It says lawyer, dude. Don't you know how to read?

Doc Robbins:
A racist gets stabbed before he gets a chance to drown. Some people would call that justice.

Ray:
We still have to call it murder.

Sara (catching Lindsey looking at files on Catherine's desk):
Those files are confidental, Lindsey. You know that. You're lucky your mother didn't catch you.

Lindsey:
I'm sorry.

Sara:
Something wrong?

Lindsey:
Not really.

Sara:
Not really, what?

Lindsey:
It's just... It seems that Shawn had a really rough life. I was thinking that I could've been a little nicer to him. A couple days ago, he tried to talk to me.

(flashback)

Shawn:
Hey, Lindsey, you're mom is a cop or a CSI or something like that, right?

Lindsey:
So?

Shawn:
I was just curious, um, how does one go about accessing fingerprint databases?

Lindsey:
Why you wanna know if you're already in the system?

(end flashback)

Sara:
Why would Shawn be interested in fingerprints?

Lindsey:
He was hitting on me, obviously. I think he even had a little crush on me.

Greg:
Sounds like Shawn was really trying to change his life.

Catherine:
Probably what got him killed.

Ray:
It's always easier to embrace hatred than it is to leave it behind.

David:
When a man is dead, a man is dead. Why keep killing him?

Ray:
Either you're really angry or having fun too much fun.

Ray:
Porcupine man.

Sara:
It looks like he was stuck in a spit and put in front of a firing squad. C.O.D was GSWs to... everything.

Greg:
It's hard to get hair into his throat without intimate contact. But I guess you're never too old. Especially with the blue pill. In fact, I know guys my age who are using it. Guys who you know, need the boost. Other guys.

Greg:
It was the Rat Pack at the Sans in '62, it was Elvis at the Hilton in '69, and Knuckles and Nash at the Rampart in '74. This was supposed to be their first reunion in 30 years.

Nick:
And I bet you had a ticket.

Greg:
Saturday night. Front row.

Greg:
Legend is Nash was such a boozer, PD kept a cell open for him every time they played in town.

Nick:
What do you think? Open bottle of vodka, used glass, one last drink?

Greg:
One last laugh.

Bobby:
There's only one shooting range that has those. And I'm pretty sure you've heard of it.

Sara:
I've only been to PD shooting ranges.

Bobby:
The tourist in town are ditching Manilow to go to shoot at this place. The ads are every where.

Ray:
Where does one find a lot of magnesite around here?

Hodges:
You wanna guess where the largest magnesite mine in the U.S is?

Ray:
Not really.

Hodges:
I'll tell you anyway. It's in the lovely town of Gabbs, Nevada.

Greg (about Knuckles drowning in ice cubes):
No prints, the weapon just melts away, looks natural causes. It's the perfect murder.

Nick:
Yeah, but where'd the red hair come from? It's not the showgirl's, her's was dyed. And Turpsey's a brunette.

Greg:
Nash wears a tupee.

Nick:
So what? It's brown.

Greg:
Well, having dabbled in the art of descrete hair coloring myself, (Nick smirks) in my younger more, experiemental days. I know a thing or two about callibration of high lights and low lights required to obtain certain effects.

Ray:
You know, Doc... I'm against the death penalty, except when it comes to people who kill children.

Doc Robbins:
I think they should be tortured first and then guillotined.

Nick:
Why can't people just wait till they get to Vegas to start partying? Is that so difficult?

Ray:
Well, it is for some people. You know what they say, beer before wine, you'll be fine.

Nick:
Yeah, wine after liquor, never sicker.

Catherine [to Ray]:
You're not going to your scene anymore. You're going home.

Ray:
You're suspending me?

Catherine:
No, I'm diagnosing you. You got the whatever virus. Take a sick day.

Sara:
I understand not wanting to share the details of your personal life with your co-workers. But when you don't share the fruits of your investigative work...

Catherine:
No, he will from now on. He wasn't purposely shutting us out.

Greg:
Look, I really like Ray. I think he's a great CSI. But if he doesn't trust us, how can we have his back?

Sara:
And how can he have ours?

Sara:
I'll be back to give you a lift home?

Nick:
Oh, no way. You're a terrible driver.

Wendy:
How is Nick?

Hodges:
I'm assuming he's okay, because he said that if we don't bring him a pizza, he's gonna kick our asses.

Jim Brass:
You know, I'm curious, uh, have you had any problems with disgruntled employees lately?

Terrence Lombard:
No more than usual. I mean come on, you know what we do here?

Jim Brass:
Yeah, I read the sign. You're support operations for The Tangiers.

Terrence Lombard:
Which means we laminate badges, distribute uniforms and issue parking permits. We are the testicles of the casino business, my friend. If you're working here, it's not 'cause you want to be.

Catherine:
I know, just make sure no one enters the casino with vests, radios or uniforms. We can't have any mistakes.

Nick:
Copy that. How's the stakeout going?

Catherine:
Well, so far it's like watching bad porn.

Ray:
Can you tell us what you did after you had been ejected for the second time?

Clint:
I hooked up with another buyer. Paid him to buy up Brenda's whole table. He dropped off the merchandise around 11... and I blissed out in my room for the rest of the night.

Nick:
Holed up in your hotel room with a bunch of women's panties is not an alibi.

Clint:
If you'd ever tried it, you'd know it was.

Robbins:
My uncle was obsessed with the smell of chocolate chip cookies. One day, my aunt came home and found him with his head in the oven. Thought he was committing suicide. She realised at that instant, the secret to a happy marriage: fresh baked cookies every day.

Ray:
You're really kind of freaky, doc.

Robbins:
Coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment.

Guillermo:
So why lie?

Wendy:
I guess I'm afraid that maybe I'm gonna wake up one morning and I'm gonna think that I spent most of my life fighting crime in a test tube.

Guillermo:
Just because something is the size of a molecule doesn't mean that it can't be filled with intrigue and excitement. CSIs gather the evidence, but analysis is really what gives it meaning. You need both to find the truth.