Dark Angel, Season 2

Dr. Elizabeth Renfro/Madame X:
Report.

Alec/X5-494:
Successful copulation between myself and X5-452, ma'am. [pause] Twice.

Renfro:
Excellent, 452. What would your boyfriend say?

Max:
Easy, easy, easy. Relax, big fella.

Joshua:
You relax, little fella.

Max:
Wow, you can talk.

Joshua:
Wow?

Joshua:
Max? On the outside?

Max:
Max outside. That's the plan.

Joshua:
Joshua outside. Th-That's the plan.

Alec:
I'm gonna be out of here in five minutes and go back to my cell and you'll get rid of me for the night. Okay, 452?

Max:
My name's Max.

Alec:
Whatever you say.

Max:
You should have a name too.

Alec:
Well, I told you, my designation's 494.

Max:
Doesn't suit you. I'm gonna call you Alec.

Alec:
Alec.

Max:
As in smart aleck.

Alec:
I can live with that.

Max:
Good. 'Cause my second choice was Dick.

Normal:
It's raining? In Seattle? Stop the presses.

Logan:
You shot me!

Lydecker:
I told you to duck.

Max:
[shaving] I've been wanting to do this for months.

Original Cindy:
I see they don't let you do your nails up at Manticore either.

Max:
No respect for the girlie arts, that place. I had to torch it.

Alec:
What are you bozos thinking, knocking over a Quickie Mart?

Alec:
They're trying to kill us. The signal's bogus. It's a trap.

X6:
If I may sir, that doesn't make any sense. We're valuable military assets representing billions of dollars in R&D.

Second X6:
Why would Manticore try to get rid of us?

Alec:
I want to get rid of you, and I just met you.

Max:
All your training goes out the window.

X6s:
Yes, ma'am!

Max:
Starting with your blind obedience to Manticore and all it represents.

X6s:
Yes, ma'am!

Max:
Which means you're gonna stop calling me "ma'am" and start calling me Max.

X6s:
Yes, ma'am!

Max:
Yes, 'Max'. That's my name. And now that you're in the real world, you should have names too.

Alec:
oh, for the love of the.

Max:
shut up

White:
Having a little family reunion?

Max:
You must be the new bad guy in my life.

White:
You know, 452, you're much prettier than in your picture.

Max:
Gee, miss the old bad guys already.

Max:
What can I say, Norm? Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

Alec:
Well, when the going gets cute, the tough get going.

Homeless man:
You two lost?

Alec:
We're looking for someone. Maybe you've seen him around.

Homeless man 2:
What's he look like?

Max:
Um, really tall. Wears an army jacket. Kind of, uh--

Alec:
Hairy. Lots of growling, some barking--

Homeless man:
[dog barking] Hush, Bongo.

Alec:
Like that.

Max:
Logan found an ex-Manticore tech thinks he can cure the virus.

Original Cindy:
When you gonna let your face in on the good news?

Sketchy:
If I was making creatures in a lab, I'd make 'em look just like you.

Asha:
Really? That's--that's really sweet.

White:
Tell me, 494, have you been in contact with this girl? We know that you were breeding partners back at Manticore.

Alec:
It was just a summer fling.

Logan:
Don't you people ever knock?

Max:
What are you doing here?

Alec:
Looking for you. The fact is, I should be with my own kind. Was wondering if you hooked up with any of the others.

Max:
You looking to start a support group?

Max [to Alec]:
Oh, before I forget, thanks so much for not killing me.

Sam "The Mangler" Miller:
What the hell are you?

Monty Cora (AKA Alec):
Better.

Joshua:
Max and Logan, gettin' busy. That's the plan.

Max [to Logan]:
I just want things to be the way they were. You know, when we could hold hands without you keeling over on me.

Max [to Rafer]:
Next time you wanna cop a feel, hit me harder and make sure I'm out cold.

Normal:
Hey, let's go! Bip bip bip! It's called Jam Pony, not Jam Clydesdale.

Original Cindy [to Sketchy]:
Were you born dumb, or do you put in work?

Max:
If this has something to do with me and my furry little friends, then how come all the victims are Chinese? Manticore's always been real big on equal opportunity.

Joshua:
Yeah, you'll see. This virus bitch going down.

Normal:
I hate cats. Vile creatures. They're always sleeping and licking themselves.

Original Cindy:
What the hell was that?!

Max:
Flashback. Happens all the time.

Logan:
Bingo!

Max:
You found something?

Logan:
No, I got bingo.

Rafer's Mom:
You are not what you seem!

Max:
Guess you busted me on my push-up bra.

Max:
Joshua, take the basement.

Joshua:
Joshua in basement. Always the plan.

Max:
Fine, take the roof. (to Didier) You take the basement. (to Cat) You handle backstage. I'll do the catwalks.

Cat:
I think I might be better suited to handle the catwalks.

Max:
How about you do what I say and we don't have a problem?

Joshua:
(to Didier) Cat fight.

Max:
I just came by to catch some coffee.

Logan:
Uh, sorry, the market's been out for a week, which is ironic, 'cause, you know, Seattle was the coffee capital of north America back in the day.

(playing charades)

Cat:
Breakfast at Tiffany's!

Joshua:
Pretty Woman!...Little Women!...Yeah! I read that. Beth dies.

Cat:
Oh...

...

Cat:
Tokyo Decadence!

Joshua:
Idle hands!

Asha:
Born Free! Born Free!

Rafer:
No.

Cat:
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Kill!

Alec:
It's just 'cause she's hot, you know.

Logan:
What is?

Alec:
Everything. Everything she gets away with. You honestly think we'd be down here in this moldy dump looking for God-knows-what if she were ugly?

Logan:
We're down here to give Max a hand.

Alec [laughing]:
You're so whipped.

Max:
Read my lips, pretty boy. Get a life, get a job, and stop sticking your nose into mine. Don't make me kick your ass!

Alec:
You know, this whole tough-chick act thing is really unbecoming. "I'm gonna bounce you on your ass. I'm gonna smack your bitch head." It's so unfeminine.

Eddie [getting in Alec's face]:
What's a poofter like you need with five hundred bucks, anyway, eh?

Alec [in a British accent]:
Actually, I need it for a ride on your mum.

Original Cindy:
Steelheads? Sketchy!

Sketchy:
You bellowed, your Originalness?

Original Cindy:
Tell Max what you told me about those guys that kicked your butt.

Sketchy:
It's been a pretty violent month for the Sketchmeister. Could you be a tad more specific?

Max:
Guess we're just gonna have to get their attention, then.

Alec:
Please tell me you're gonna get naked.

Bird:
Yeah. And she took off with our boy. I saw.

Eddie:
I want him back. He cost me a pretty penny, and... I--I miss him, I do.

Sketchy:
What, are you kidding? Back when he was a Jam Pony hump, this generous man showed me some tight shortcuts through downtown. Helped me shave hours off my workday.

Max:
Giving you extra time to nap and get high.

Sketchy:
Precisely.

Zack:
I always liked Sketchy... I think.

Logan:
Oh, Max. Thank God.

Max:
Are you okay? What happened?

Logan:
Eyes Only met his match.

Brittany:
Uncle Logan.

Max:
Hi. What's your name?

Brittany:
Go away.

Max:
Nice name. I'm Max.

Logan:
Brittany, say hi.

Brittany:
No.

Max:
Can we concentrate on coming up with a plan?

Alec:
I'm thinking.

Max:
You're talking.

Alec:
I can do both.

Max:
I doubt that.

Alec:
Well, you just lost your tip.

Logan:
Look, it's one thing for Manticore to give you a retrovirus tailor-made to kill me, but I seriously doubt that they factored a six-year-old into their evil plan.

Original Cindy:
Chicken pox? Thought that went out with Starbucks and Madonna.

Max:
Can't you see I'm getting ready for a bath?

Alec:
Funny, women and water. Seems to be the theme of my evening.

Logan [Talking on phone with a doctor]:
I read about the work you've been doing and I thought you might be able to help... a virus... genetically targeted to a specific gene sequence... it's mine actually... because someone wanted me dead?...Doctor please don't hang up I am NOT a nut and I'm willing to pay you a lot of money... HELLO?!

Max:
Maybe when father was mixing you together he put some Picasso in your DNA.

Joshua:
Picasso in my cocktail.

Alec:
Scored a sweet deal on some ham-hocks, my buyer fell through on me, you want em?

Joshua:
I... uh don't have any money.

Alec:
Aw, that's alright, take it as an 'I'm sorry for trying to kill you' that one time

Wendy White:
Truth is, he [White] doesn't care much for Eyes Only. Thinks what you people do is... subversive.

Alec:
Look, Josh, you're a great artist, apparently. But you're also, to be frank, a dog-boy.

Rita:
An artist burns bright for an instant, and then extinguishes like a scrape of phosphorus.

Alec:
Well, call it his Blue Period. It'll be worth a fortune.

Alec:
You know, but just, uh, tell her you lost the papers. Tell her, uh, I don't know, tell her your dog ate 'em. Tell her you ate 'em.

Rita:
Yeah. Um, I told your representative you could have the painting back if you'd just ask for it in person.

Joshua:
Here I am, in person. Give it back!

White:
Pain is a phantom of the mind.

Asha:
I'm off to the frozen north. I don't know who to trust. I'm not happy about this, Logan.

Logan:
Well, I'm not happy about it, either.

Alec:
Well, if she's not happy, and you're not happy, then I'm not happy. Max, are you happy?

Logan:
Shut up!

Max:
Watch the hands.

Brain:
I'm just tryin' to hang on here.

Max:
Hang on a little lower. [pause] Not that low.

Alec:
(to Logan about Asha and Max) What in the world do they see in you?

Original Cindy:
He told Marina that he loved her. And the next week he was catting around with Little Suki on the side.

Alec:
I never said I loved her. That is a cheap ploy and I don't go there. I said that she was a unique creature unlike any other.

Sketchy:
"A unique creature unlike any other." Man, I'm totally stealing it.

Alec:
Oh, it works like a charm. I mean, you can literally watch them melt.

Max:
Please, you're making me sick.

Max:
I can't believe how late we are. Can't this thing go any faster?

Logan:
Hey! Cut Bessie a little slack. Considering the number of times she's been shot up and put back together, I'm lucky she even runs at all.

Logan:
Ah, the latest adventures of Alec, the lovable X5 rogue. I can hardly wait.

Logan:
Well, I am looking forward to spending some time with Joshua.

Max:
Yeah. You know, I think you two will get along. Just, you know, remember to act natural.

Logan:
As opposed to the unnatural way I normally act?

Max:
No. You know what I mean. Just don't stare.

Logan:
Oh, okay. Don't stare at the genetically engineered part-man part-dog guy. Got it.

Joshua:
Oh, having macaroni and cheese and little -- little hot dogs.

Logan:
[laughs] Dogs. Sounds good.

Alec:
Max, can you pass the ketchup, please?

Max:
You mean this unique ketchup unlike any other?

Original Cindy:
Men, dogs -- no difference.

Max:
You know, we don't always get along.

Alec:
Nicely understated. Barkeep!

Max:
But if you're in some kind of trouble and you need my help, then you should ask now and not wait till it's too late and everything's all messed up like you usually do.

Alec:
I don't want your pity. I want your absence.

Max:
He doesn't want me looking out for him. He wants to be left alone. Pretend like it never happened. He's so cut off.

Logan:
Sounds like this girl I used to know. She was just looking out for herself. No responsibilities. No entanglements.

Alec:
I'm always alright.

Normal:
The gentler sex sure can pack a wallop when she has a mind to.

Alec [to Max]:
You can't understand; you weren't there. You ran. You and your little rugrat brothers and sisters. You think life was rough when we were ten? A little schooling, a little brainwashing, some maneuvers outside? You think that was tough? Take it from me. Later on, it got a whole lot worse. But you did what you had to do. Then you tried to forget. And when you couldn't forget, they had ways of making you not care.

Max:
Can my life suck any harder?

Alec:
I mean, why consummate two years of unbridled passion when we can have pasta?

Max:
Got word from this fence I know. There's a collector willing to pay top dollar for Star Wars: Episode VII. After the Pulse, they shut down production. Apparently this is the only footage that exists.

Alec:
Is that the one where Captain Kirk dies?

Max:
I just want to know I'm not gonna kill the guy if, say, I touch his hand by accident.

Original Cindy:
Or if, say, you spend a long weekend making hot monkey love to the man... by accident.

Alec:
Have they ever even once said "I love you"? No. No, Max, Max would choke on the words. Logan, eh, he'd say it...in an email. (imitating Max) "Oh, he's not my boyfriend, we were never even like that, it was never the right time..." No, Logan is a repressed WASP and Max is...a broken toy. The two of them will never work out together.

Joshua:
Stop getting busy, please.

Logan:
I keep thinking about the night we took down Manticore. When I thought I'd lost you. I came home and I sat on my sofa and I didn't get up again for days. The sun came up. The sun went down. I just sat there. It was like I couldn't move. It hurt too much to move. That's how I feel right now.

Max:
I knew this would happen. We shouldn't have taken the chance.

Logan:
We had to. You know we did. We can't keep going through this though.

Max:
I know.

Logan:
That year we wasted. Dancing around each other. Afraid of actually admitting how we felt. If I had that time back, I would do things so differently. (Max's little timer goes off) Well, I guess that's it. (They sit there for a second, then he leans over and kisses her, then gets out of the car.) I love you, Max. (walks away)

Max:
I love you too.

Max:
Let me guess. You're one of White's breeding-cult psychos. You'd think after ten generations of selective reproduction, you wouldn't have such a fat ass.

Original Cindy [to Logan]:
I know you saved my girl and all, but couldn't you have brought her back in better condition than this?

Max:
Nice haircut.

Logan:
Nice gunshot wound.

Max:
If I knew this is all it took to get a visit from Logan Cale, I would've gotten my ass shot up a while ago.

Otto:
So what do we do now?

White:
Now? Well, now we, uh, go home. We pray really, really hard that she doesn't expose the massive government conspiracy that we've been assigned to cover up.

Otto:
Oh, sarcasm. Very good, sir.

Alec [to Joshua]:
A chance for you to get out there, see the world. I thought your kind liked to take walks.

Janis:
Great. We got some buffalo wings coming.

Joshua:
Buffalo wings?

Janis:
Chicken wings.

Joshua:
Ah, chicken with buffalo in his cocktail.

Logan:
But he believed it. They all did... except for Max, and eleven of her brothers and sisters. They wanted out so much they escaped, and they've spent the last eleven years defending their freedom with their lives. That barcode on the back of their necks? That was put there to keep track of them, like a brand. So when she sees someone like you, eager to be a slave, wearing it... it kills her inside.

Joshua:
I thought they would understand. So I took off my helmet, and they didn't understand, Max. They were just like, "Ahhh! Ohh! Oh my God, dude, look at him! He's got a dog face! He's got a dog face! I'm trippin'! Are you trippin'? I'm trippin'!" "Sorry! Sorry!" "I'm trippin'! Oh my God!"

Logan:
Fuhgeddaboudit.

Logan:
I mean, it was the scoop of a lifetime, Max. He was going to give me the capo di tutti capi.

Max:
The capo tutti whattie?

Logan:
Now he won't even talk to my source. Says he's a stand-up guy and he's no stoolie. I don't buy it. Little mook just needs convincing.

Max:
Somebody's spent too much time listening to surveillance tapes.

Max:
I've said too much.

Mia:
Oh, don't worry. You won't remember.

Max:
Remember what?

Mia:
Remember to powder your nose.

Mia:
That is so exciting. But, Max, you have to be careful. Those guys are dangerous.

Max:
Oh, it's cool. I'm genetically engineered. I can totally kick their asses.

Mia:
Logan, I think there's something Alec wants to say to you.

Alec:
Yeah, Logan. I just wanted to say that I understand why Max admires you so much. Sometimes I wish I had more of a purpose in life.

Mia:
Logan, is there something you want to say to Alec?

Logan:
Well, it's just that sometimes I wish I was more of a free spirit and it must be nice to be a happy-go-lucky sociopath. I kind of envy you.

Mia:
Oh! Group hug! [they hug]

Max:
What the hell is going on over there?

Normal:
Do my ears deceive me? Monty Cora rides again?

Alec:
I'm back, baby.

Normal:
Oh! Oh! Lovely! Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear this? This right here -- magnificence. Shirtless muscle rippling, sweat flying off him like a thousand points of light.

Alec:
He's one of my bigger fans.

Normal:
You're my hero. I live to serve you. I had this dream about you the other night. You were this Roman gladiator and you slew barbarians and Medusa-like women and I was your tiny little valet. I wiped your sword clean after every sweet victory. I rubbed your tired, beautiful golden muscles--

Alec:
Hot run! Fourth and Main.

Logan:
You're about to get dead, Dougie. You were on thin ice with the boss already, and that's before you lost him a lot of money. You go with them, you're gonna end your night in cement shoes.

Second Gangster:
"Cement shoes"? Who talks like that?

Mia:
Ouch. What happened to your eye?

Max:
Craziest thing. Woke up this morning and it was just there. No idea how it happened.

Mia:
Seems to me like you slipped in the shower and banged yourself on the shampoo caddy. Must've hurt like the dickens.

Max:
That's so weird.

Mia:
What?

Max:
That's exactly what happened. Slipped in the shower, banged my head on the shampoo caddy. Hurt like the dickens.

Alec:
My turn now bitch.

Max:
What'd you just call me?

Alec:
You heard me, B, I, T, C...

Max:
Oh, look at that. The ring girl just lost her top.

Alec:
Yeah... [he turns to look anyway and Max kicks him in the 'crown jewels', she gently pushes his head and he falls to the ground]

Max:
Ooops. [Guy in charge comes into the ring an announces that Max is the new champ]

Max:
How'd you know I'd win?

Mia:
'Cause girls kick ass. That's what the T-shirt says, right?

Max:
Can I get a drink?

Logan:
You okay?

Max:
Yeah, except I think Mia put the whammy on me again because I have no idea what we just talked about.

Alec [to Max]:
What are the chances he stumbles across an actual Manticore alum that's stupid enough to let him snap a shot?

Sketchy:
Hey, guys. [Snaps a picture of them on his way out]

Max [to Alec]:
You were saying?

Max:
What are you doing with Ray?

Priestess:
What is necessary.

Max:
Could you be a little more specific? 'Cause I left my copy of Wacky Cult Rituals for Dummies at home.

Otto:
We're looking for one of your messengers. Male, early twenties, long hair, ratty clothes.

Normal:
Uh, tragically, sir, you've just described every young man in my employ.

Boy:
Want me to put you down?

Max:
Depends. If you hold me up here long enough, will your head explode?

Logan:
I wandered all over the hospital looking for you with the back of my gown open.

Max:
Love sucks.

Joshua:
Hey little fella.

Max:
Hey big fella.

Alec:
I guess that makes me medium fella.

White [re:
a beluga whale]: A hundred thousand years ago, some humpback violates a dolphin, and this is what we get. Makes a pretty good argument for selective breeding, huh?

Logan:
I just want you to know... however things may be between us, I always got your back.

Max:
I know. Me too.

White:
This is so FUBAR it's almost funny

normal:
you idiot oh I..I don't know him he's just an idiot

Max:
I thought I was the bitch. But you take the prize.

White:
You really think you could hide from me, 452?

Sam/X-453:
Oh, God.

White:
What, no witty rejoinders today?

Max:
One of these days, White and his men are going to bust through that door, and you're liable to get caught in the crossfire.

Original Cindy:
I'll kick their asses.

Sam/X-453:
It's been ten years since the first time you ruined my life. I'll be damned if I let that happen again.

Sam/X-453:
It's no use. I've got ten years of training on you.

Max:
Yeah, well, they didn't teach you to fight dirty.

Max:
The point is, I'm gonna trade your sorry ass for her husband and kid.

White:
I don't think so.

Max [holding up a crowbar]:
No? Well, then, I guess we get to find out how high your pain threshold really is.

Max:
I appreciate this.

Alec:
Yeah, no worries. Anything for a friend, or a clone of a friend.

Max:
What is it with these snakes? It's like Ames White and his Familiars are following me around.

Alec:
"Ames White and his Familiars." Kinda sounds like a rock band, you know?

Logan:
Huh.

Max:
"Huh" as in, "Strange, but I know exactly what it is, huh," or "Huh, what the hell is going on?"

Max:
I drank a bottle of something that said "Tattoos From Within." Was that wrong?

White:
Now, before I kill you and end this little story, I have to ask you about my son. Is he alive?

Max:
No. Yeah. Well, what was the question?

Max:
Two million years of human evolution and this is what we get. You morons.

Logan:
"Now look what you've done."

Max:
"Today, I'm proud to be a freak."

Mole:
Hey, Max. How'd it go?

Max:
Ever notice how drug dealers have no sense of humor when it comes to money?

Mole:
I'll say one thing for ordinaries--they know when to run.

Joshua:
Maybe we should run, too.

Mole:
We don't run, we fall back.

Normal:
My golden boy's a mutant.

Alec:
We prefer "genetically empowered."

Normal:
Take me, Jesus.

Mole:
Careful what you wish for.

Max:
What's that?

Alec:
It's a hole in my body made by a bullet.

Max:
Been there, done that.

Joshua:
He deserves to die! He killed Annie!

Max:
No. He deserves to die, a lot. But if you kill him now, the only thing people will remember about today is how some transgenic killed a human being in cold blood...and then they'll never stop hunting us.

Max:
Bring around your muscle queens anytime. I'll be happy to kick their ass.

White:
We are not finished.

Max:
Fe'nos tol, bitch.

Reporter:
Tell us about your captors. What are these creatures like? Is it true you delivered a transgenic baby?

Normal:
Yes, I did indeed. And a beautiful, bouncing baby girl she is.

Reporter:
So you're saying they're not all monsters, then?

Normal:
Monsters? No. No more than you and me.

Max:
Where are we gonna go? I can't stop anyone from leaving, but I'm through running and hiding and being afraid. I'm not gonna live my life like that anymore. Aren't you tired of living in darkness? Don't you want to feel the sun on your face? To have a place of your own where you can walk down the street without being afraid? They made us, and they trained us to be soldiers, to defend this country. It's time for them to face us and take responsibility, instead of trying to sweep us away like garbage. We were made in America and we're not going anywhere. So they call us freaks; who cares? Today I'm proud to be a freak. And today we're gonna make a stand, right here. Who's with me?