ER, Season 8

Jackie:
He's still my baby, Peter. I'm supposed to take care of him. I feel like somewhere, some time, he's going to be sad or cold or scared. Who's taking care of him? Who's being his mother?

Abby:
You're going to have some dirty birds.

Carter:
Grandpa liked to drive the power lawn mower around.

Abby:
Into the birdbath?

Carter:
Not on purpose. He was having a fatal MI at the time.

Abby:
(laughs) I'm sorry.

Carter:
Gotta die somehow. Not a bad way to go. Sunny day, out on the mower (they both start to laugh) Don't, don't laugh.

Abby:
Then stop it!

Abby:
Nice suit! Who died?

Carter:
My grandfather.

Abby:
Sorry..., I didn't know.

Greene:
[He was]...eaten by dogs.

Corday:
Eaten by dogs? In Chicago?

Greene:
It happens, alot! A cop told me.

Chen:
John did you discharge Ravis?

Carter:
Who?

Chen:
22 year old woman, she was taking birth control pills.

Carter:
Yeah, why?

Chen:
Weaver took her from me!

Carter:
Oh.

Chen:
She gave her to you.

Carter:
Maybe she thought you were swamped?

Chen:
Yeah, more like incompetent.

Carter:
She made you Chief Resident, you know, your the chosen one.

Chen:
By default.

Abby:
[Talking about replacing Luka's fish tank she broke] You ready?

Carter:
One more patient.

Abby:
I'll be in the car, I don't want Luka to see us.

Carter:
Aren't we going to be wearing ski mask's?

Abby:
Just bend over.

Carter:
You can at least buy me dinner first.

Patient:
Dude, it only takes like two minuets to freeze a wart off.

Frank:
Actually less, but you still have to wait like everybody else.

Gallant:
Is there a lost and found box?

Haleh:
Yeah, someone stole it.

Frank:
So you're gay, huh?

Weaver:
Yeah, Frank, I'm gay, all right?

Frank:
You know you're going to hell, right?

[Romano walks into the lounge and sees that Elizabeth is crying]

Romano:
What's wrong, is Prince Harry in rehab again?

[Romano to Elizabeth about Mark:
]

Romano:
Is he your husband?

Elizabeth:
Yes.

Romano:
Do you love him?

Elizabeth:
Yes.

[After Gallant gets sick during a trauma, Carter repeats what Dr. Mark Greene told him in the same situation eight years ago.]

Gallant:
You know, sometimes I don't think I can do this.

Carter:
You know, there's two kinds of doctors. There's the kind that get rid of their feelings, and the kind that hold on to them. If you hold on to your feelings you're going to get sick every once in a while. It's part of it. You know, people come in here, and they're sick, and they're bleeding, sometimes they're dying. And they need our help. And helping them is more important than how we feel. But hell, I've been doing this eight years, I still get sick. Take another minute.

Carter:
Abby is the Obi-Wan Kenobi of nursing.

Pratt:
What does that make you, Yoda?

Carter:
Learn from her you will.