Fillmore!, Season 2

Ingrid:
Did you catch that vibe?

Fillmore:
The nasty food vibe?

Ingrid:
Not just nasty food, nasty British food.

Ingrid:
Stay back, this won't be pretty. I'm putting on my cute face.

Fillmore:
Oh, snap!

Fillmore:
You sure took one for the team, Ingrid.

Lorenzo:
(curled up in fetal position) Ay mamacita! Ay mamacita! Ay mamacita!

Cheri:
Your mama sat on what? En Englais, por favor!

Vallejo:
(about Frank's profiling skills) He was the best - just by looking at his shoe print he could tell you what the perp had for breakfast!

Principal Folsom:
Let's see, things I'd like to see shredded...beef for loose meat sandwiches, any paperwork documenting my weight or age, oh, and one other thing, YOUR BADGE IF I DON'T SEE RESULTS!

Tehama:
Okay. What the heck is that?

Fillmore:
Uh, no offence, Danny, but that kinda looks like Tiger Woods on a very bad morning.

Ingrid:
(squinting) Oh yeah, and that's his elbow...at least, I hope that's his elbow...

Vallejo:
We may not be able to officially bust you, but if you cause any more trouble in this school, the entire Safety Patrol is going to turn your life into a nightmare from which you will never wake. Am I making myself clear?

Winston Cotter:
...yes, sir.

Ingrid Third:
Oh, didn't realize I was dealing with tortured Fillmore today. Sorry.

O'Farrell:
I'm only through book eight. I didn't even get a chance to become disillusioned.

Trace:
Daylight kills vamps, and that's with the ozone layer. I mean, a vampire astronaut in space? Hello? What about the sun?

Ingrid:
Trace and TQ working in tandem tried to trash Torrie and Terri's attempts to take the trophy together.

Ingrid:
X Middle School Safety Patrol, hold your horseshoes!

Principal Folsom:
I need these clever headlines to stop!

Danny O'Farrel:
(talking about Fiona's fashion list) She always puts me down on the "worst dressed list." I don't know why.

(He stands up wearing a kilt, out-of-date shoes, and a pair of novelty, over-sized sunglasses)

Becca:
(on the fashion display) ...They're man-capris. You know, to go with the man-halter.

Danny O'Farrel:
It's clean. The girl's bathroom is clean! Why is the boy's room such a pit?! It smells like lavender in here. I love lavender!

Horace:
I'm not a bully! I'm a computer geek!

O'Farrell:
Polly want to confess what you saw between 10:26 and 10:31 this morning? Huh? Do you, Polly?

Fillmore:
Dog!

Man:
It's a horse! A seeing eye horse!

Reporter:
(after Fillmore has broken a macaroni statue) Wow, he really hates macaroni.

Fillmore:
(to Penny after he found out what she did) And one last thing babe...that chicken was dry, real dry.

Fillmore:
(shows Ingrid his golf club with 6 notches scratched into it) These notches are 6 peoples lives I'd ruined: It was the 6th Grade, back when I was a delinquent; I'd always been good at mini golf, and I decided to throw-in with the school team, but because of my little discipline problems, I wasn't even allowed to try-out. 'Since they didn't let me try-out, I decided to stamp them out. All of them. I challenged the whole team to a match, betting each of them everything they had; CDs, video games, their trophies, you name it. It wasn't about the swag; I only had 1 thing on my mind--destroying their Game: Ingrid, mini golf is 100% Mental; I played the holes to break them; I made it look like the greens broke differently; I swung my arm slow, but hit fast, and made it look the windmill was standing still. They didn't know what hit them. I beat them so-badly, so-completely, it's like... there was nothing of them left. I Took Them Out. They never played the game again. And, until this case, neither had I.

Ingrid:
Fillmore, that was a long time ago. You did something harsh, and it hurts; That's how your paying the price for it. But Don't make other people pay that price. You are the only one who can take Biggie down. You're the only one who can stop him. 'You don't, and you may as well put some notches for All of us.

Vallejo:
FILLMORE! Why did I get a bill from the art lab for 10 plastic chairs, 8 wooden easels, a velvet couche, AND A SPEAR?!

Fillmore:
(chuckles nervously) They don't make 'em like they used to?

Vallejo:
(chuckles sarcastically) Cut the chuckles!

Vallejo:
Fillmore! Why did I receive a bill for 68 trashed monster novels and a zombie standee?!

Fillmore:
Relax, Vallejo. Mimey here has offered to put on a show, and donate the proceeds to pay for the damages.

Ingrid:
(over walkie) Fillmore, I need help. I'm tracking a perp on foot. He's stolen a ten foot ladder, and he's heading for the ceramics club.

Vallejo:
(looking terrified) Ceramics club? Ten foot ladder?!

Fillmore:
(to Ingrid) On my way. (to Vallejo) Sorry, bro, duty calls.

Vallejo:
(still looking terrified, with the mime mimicking him) Wait, uh, Fillmore... Maybe we should...

Fillmore:
You know, Vallejo, you worry too much. When I get back, I got a tea that just might fix that. (Runs off)

Vallejo:
(with the mime STILL mimicking him) FILLMORE! (Vallejo stares off into space, while the mime continues acting) Stop that. (The mime pauses, then stands upright)